Jubilee

John Dee.

Some pretty distractions, which you call angels,

call forth to forget our cares.

Some aquavit to pass this hard night for our pleasure.

And this our gentlewoman.

Her Majesty as... as once a virgin fashioned the whole Earth.

So by a virgin it shall have rebirth.

So says the old sage, wisdom.

Dear oh Doctor John.

Our triumphant antimony.

Our kingdom's eyes.

This me pleaseth to see and have discourse with angels.

Your Majesty, the spell we cast forth

in the name of Christ Jesus and his angelic hosts,

calling for the fiery, spiritual creature.

Our angel Ariel.

Metrotron...

...angel commander of the ten hosts I cast for Ariel...

...Pearl of Fire.

My only star.

God's moonbeam send forth my flower.

The smoke and ashes of ages past,

which hangs like morning mist in veils across the universe,

parts in swirls and eddies...

...and through them the shooting star,

my angel Ariel flies with mirrored eyes,

leaving a sparkling phosphorescent trail across the universe.

Down.

Down he plummets towards Earth

through the great vacuum on the curve of infinity.

And like a fiery rose

he descends...

...to Mortlake.

All hail, great master.

Grave, sir. Hail.

I come to answer thy best pleasure...

...be it to fly, to swim,

to dive into the fire,

to ride upon the curled clouds to thy strong bidding.

Ariel.

And all this quality.

This vision exceedeth all expectation.

Such an abstract never before I spied.

An angel, Your Majesty, is the sun's true shadow.

Spirit Ariel,

Her Majesty wishes to have knowledge

to swim in those pure waters,

which are the essence of that which bind all creation.

By me... this task shall be performed.

For I am that pure and clarified spirit

by which thou must turn all metals to the most pure gold.

Sweet Majesty, pluck up thy heart and be merry...

...for I will reveal to thee...

...the shadow of this time.

Break it up, kids. Up against the wall.

All right. Move right up there. Come on.

Come on!

Quickly!

Run! Come on! Run!

All right, girls.

We are now proud to welcome Miss Amyl Nitrite.

England's glory.

Who's going to tell us the exciting story of her misspent life.

The world is no longer interested in heroes.

So sad.

We now know too much about them, don't we?

Do you know any real heroes?

No.

I don't.

Anyway, let me introduce you to Amyl Nitrite.

She's our heroine.

faites de vos désirs réalité.

"Make your desires reality."

I, myself, preferred the song "Don't Dream It, Be It."

'In those days desires weren't allowed to become reality.

'So fantasy was substituted for them.

'Films, books, pictures.

'They called it art.

'But when you desires become reality,

'you don't need fantasy any longer or art.'

'I always remembered the school motto.

'As a child my heroine was Myra Hindley.

'Do you remember her?

'Myra's crimes were, they said, "beyond belief."

'That was because no-one had any imagination then.

'They really didn't know how to make their desires reality.

'They were not artists like Myra.

'One can smile now at the naiveté.

'When, on my 15th birthday,

'law and order were finally abolished,

'all those statistics that were a substitute for reality disappeared.

'The crime rate dropped to zero.

'Who believed in statistics then?

'Only the vital ones.'

In any case, I started to dance.

I wanted to defy... gravity.

'I haven't danced for a long time.

'No-one's interested in the ballet any more.

'But history still fascinates me.

'It's so intangible.

'You can weave facts anywhere you like.

'Good guys can swap places with bad guys.

'You might think Richard Ill of England was bad,

'but you'd be wrong.

'What separates Hitler from Napoleon?

'Or even Alexander?

'The size of the destruction or is he nearer to us in time?

'Was Churchill a hero?

'Did he alter history for the better?

'Now my friend Mad on the sofa is a pyromaniac.

'But she thinks she's a revolutionary out to better the world.

'I'm not so sure.

'The boys in the bed are Sphinx and Angel.

'They're from Deptford and brothers.

'Their relationship is quite peculiar, but they're nice enough.'

'And over there at the washbasin is Chaos,

'our French au pair.

'Life in England these days is inflationary,

'but we're carrying on regardless,

'coping with misgovernment and idiocy on every side.

'Carnation from Floris.

'Not all the good things have disappeared.'

Shit! Piss!

- What's up, Amyl? - I've broken my Winston Churchill mug.

Oh, look.

Oh, Winston!

Oh, don't worry. We'll stick him together.

- Got a bit of glue. - Look.

Don't worry. You got any glue? You got any glue?

Yeah, yeah.

"Teach Yourself History by Amyl Nitrite."

"Number one, the history of England."

'It all began with William the Conqueror

'who screwed the Anglo-Saxons into the ground,

'carving the land into theirs and ours.

'They lived in mansions and ate beef at fat tables,

'whilst the poor lived in houses minding the cows on a bowl of porridge,

'whilst they pushed them around with their arrogant foreign accents.

'There were two languages in the land...'

What two languages?

Chinese and Liverpudlian. How do I know?

- What about Norman? - Norman who?

Oh, fuck off.

'There were two languages in the land and the seeds of war were sown.

'At first the two sides co-existed meeting only on the racetrack and the battlefield

'whilst they fought the rest of the world...'

That's you, Chaos.

'...who they despised more than each other.

'Now one day, when there was no-one left to fight,

'it dawned on them that the real enemy was at home

'and that they should fight themselves.

'Having grown greedy on the booty they had looted from the rest of the world,

'they decided to fight with money.

'But by now this was made with paper, so it was pretty worthless.

'So, when they discovered this, they took to fighting with guns.'

'The rest of the world sighed a sigh of relief to be rid of them

'and got on with their own business.

'And England slowly sank into the sea.'

Who are you writing this crap for, Amyl?

Myself.

It's a hobby.

When I'm not making history, I write it.

I try to compress it.

Be great if all history could be written on a Mandrax.

This is how to compress it! You forget it.

What are you doing that for?

I'll compress you in a minute!

Ooh, ooh!

Fuck off, Mad!

Help me, Sphinx. Amyl's a raving lunatic. I'm a damsel in distress.

You clammy slag! You've sat on the KY with your fat arse.

Oh, fuck off!

You get it, Angel. The exercise will do you good.

I'm going to show your brother the real thing.

- Fuck off. - Fucking hell

- Oh, fuck off yourself. - Who is it?

Bod.

Shut your eyes, all of you.

Shut your eyes, Angel.

I captured it in Deptford.

It's high fashion.

Now shall one king rise up against another...

...and there shall be bloodshed throughout the whole world.

Fighting between the Devil,

his kingdom and the kingdom of light.

What did you say your name was again?

Kid.

You want some more? Have some more eggs.

No, thank you.

- You want a cigarette? - No, thanks.

What do you do?

Nothing. I'm a musician.

You're gorgeous.

I could get you a job with Borgia Ginz.

He's always looking for new talent.

He owns the media.

My name's Crabs, by the way.

I'm an actress.

- Ever see "War and Peace"? - No.

- Tea, please. - Hello, Crabs.