Sitting Pretty

Hey. Hey, you!

Hey, come here a minute, will ya?

Were you addressing me? Yeah.

Is this hummingbird hill up here?

That is the name of this community, yes.

I'm trying to find 21 carvers Lane. They phoned for a cab.

Oh. Someone going away?

How would I know? They want a cab, that's all.

You know where it is? I do.

You continue on and turn left into the first street. It is the fourth house on the right.

Thanks, buddy. You're entirely welcome.

Say, you mind telling me what you're doing with that feather?

I am cross-pollinating a specimen of the family iridaceae.

Come again?

I am trying to develop a new strain of Iris. I breed them.

No kidding! You mean, like some guys breed cocker spaniels?

The principle, believe it or not, is identical.

Clarence! Uh, yes, mother?

What did that taxi man want?

He's looking for 21 carvers Lane, mother.

What on earth do the Harry kings need a cab for?

I don't know, mother!

- Well, why didn't you ask him? - I did!

But he doesn't know either, mother! Oh!

You never find out anything.

Better drink it now before it gets cold.

Never mind the milk. Wheel me over to that other window, quickly.

Careful, now. Hurry. Hurry.

Henry! Henry! Come back here!

Henry! Henry! Come back here!

Henry! Come back here!

Hey! Get this dog off of me! Get him off!

He's a watchdog! He's supposed to bite strangers!

It's all right. He won't hurt ya. Come on, Henry.

What's the matter? Don't you like dogs?

- -

Yes? Oh, Roddy, will you please stop crying.

You sent for a cab, lady.

You've come to the wrong house. I didn't phone for a cab...

Roddy, please stop!

This is number 21. Somebody from here phoned for a cab.

I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake.

There's no mistake, Mrs. King!

I phoned for a cab.

Really, Mrs. Maypole, I-I don't quite understand.

There's nothing to understand.

I'm quittin', that's all, and right now!

But you can't... you just can't walk out... that's what you think.

Want I should put 'em in the cab?

Yes, if you can get by them kids and that awful dog without gettin' 'em smashed.

I don't know what's upset you, but...

oh, you don't, huh? Well, I'll tell ya.

It's them three kids of yours that's upset me, and that horrible dog.

Upset me? They've driven me nuts!

I'll never take another job anywhere where they have kids or pets, so help me!

We had three children and a dog, Mrs. Maypole, when you came.

We didn't spring them on you unexpectedly.

I know. I should have my head examined.

Good day, Mrs. King!

And mail me them two days I got comin'.

Don't worry, mom. She was a pain in the neck.

She couldn't cook good either. You're a much better cook, mom.

Hello.

Oh, good morning, Mrs. King. Just a moment, please.

- Yes? - Your wife, Mr. King, on two.

Right.

Oh.

Hello, honey. Say, Mr. Hammond wants us to...

what?

She didn't.

Why, the old bag!

The maid quit. Uh, it's just bill. You can talk.

What?

I said, in a way I'm glad to get rid of her.

All she did was guzzle beer all day.

What? Tonight?

But how can we? Who'll stay with the children?

Well, you'll just have to get a babysitter.

I've told you, Mr. Hammond wants you, me, bill and Edna to come for dinner tonight.

I don't know... yes!

Tell her Edna raised a stink too.

But she's going to find a sitter, or else.

But, uh... I...

honey, I can't argue with you now. I'm due in court.

I'll see you later. And start phoning sitters.

Well, okay, I'll try.

Bye.

Oh, Roddy, for heaven's sake!

Oh!

Hi, pop! Hi!

Hiya, fellas.

Henry! Get off of me!

Get off! Get away!

Hot enough for ya, pop?

Can't you kids train that big ox not to jump on people?

He's glad to see ya. Oh, he's glad to see everybody.

What you got? Ice cream.

Oh, boy! That's super!

Henry! Leave that cat alone! Henry!

Stop it! Henry! Come back here!

Henry! Come back here!

Hi.

Hello, kiddo. I bring you the stuff like you say.

Strawberry ice cream.

Chocolate cookies. Ginger ale.

Cottage cheeses? Okay? Thanks, honey.

Say, lady, uh, before your husband comes home,

how about a little kiss, huh?

You picked a fine time to be funny.

Oh, don't worry, honey. You'll find another maid.

I'm not even going to try.

La Maypole was a horrible extravagance.

We just can't afford a maid right now. You know that.

Unless, of course, you got that raise. Did you?

No.

But being invited to the boss's house for dinner is a hopeful sign.

Who'd you get for a sitter? I didn't.

And I phoned at least 15 of the little darlings.

Well, we've still got time. I'll get busy on it while you feed the kids.

Hope you have better luck than I did.

Hello? May I speak with Dorothy, please?

Oh, I see. Thank you.

Well, the kids are put away for the night, thank goodness. Good.

It's so silly, dressing to go over there, just the six of us.

The hammonds always dress for dinner. They would.

You might as well give up. You're not going to get anybody at this hour.

Shh.

Hello? Hello, Agnes!

So glad I caught you in.

This is Mr. King. I was just wondering if you...

oh, I see.

Well, can't you go bowling some other night?

Oh, no, sure, I understand. Good-bye.

Don't you think you'd better call Mr. Hammond and say that you can't get anybody?

And get fired for disobeying the royal command?

And why not?

The sooner you start out on your own and stop letting Mr. Hammond kick you around,

the better I like it.

Look, my love, for the last time,

there's more to starting a law practice than just hanging out a shingle.

You have to make contacts, take it by degrees.

The only way you can do that is with an established outfit.

You know I'm right, don't you?

I know you're a lot smarter than Mr. Hammond thinks you are.

Thank you.

What about that old duck we had a couple months ago with the wart on her nose?

Too late, darling. Edna got her.

Oh.

Hello. Is this Mrs. Phillips?

Well, good evening.

This is Mr. King. Could I talk to Mabel, please?

There. You see? She's in.

Oh, Mabel!

Yes, mother?

Mr. King on the phone. I guess he wants you to sit with his kids.

Not me! Not while I'm conscious. Not those kids.

Tell him I dropped dead!

Hello? Yes, I heard, Mrs. Phillips.

She just dropped dead.

Why, the...

fresh out of names, dear, or fresh out of charm?

Mm-mmm.

Well, we can always try Ginger.

- Oh, no, you don't. - Why? What's wrong with Ginger?

Well, in the first place she's a nitwit,

and in the second place she's got a silly, idiotic crush on you.

Oh, stop it, will you. Don't act so innocent.

The last time she was here she tried to hold hands with you right under my very nose.

Can I help it if I'm irresistible to women?

Of course not, dear.

Well, okay.

Oh, all right. Go ahead and call her.

Personally, I think you've got a crush on her.

A child of 16?

Gosh, Mr. King, I'm so glad you called.

I just adore sitting with those darling children.

Good. That's a break for us.

I had several other calls tonight to sit,

but I turned them all down 'cause I just hoped and prayed that you would call.

Gosh, you look so sharp in your tux.

Gosh!

I just did a new paint job on my nails.

Like them, Mr. King? Yes. Fine.

I'm using a new perfume too.

It's called nuit d'amour. That's French.

Oh. It means "night of love."

Like it?

Yes. It's keen.