American Dad!

Announcer: It's game day!

And the Rockville Gorilla Stars are coming to the Sharks' Nest!

A capacity crowd is expected

for the first Bazooka Sharks game

since quarterback Johnny Concussion's death.

Johnny's ashes and carbonized bone chunks will be on display

in a football-shaped urn,

which should be a real treat for the kiddies!

Hey, bud. Got a little kink in your line.

It's okay. No one's perfect.

Except everyone who works for me!

You're fired!

I want you to crank the pressure on these tanks.

People want to see their juice drink

really hit the walls and cascade around.

These foam fingers are heavier than they usually are.

And you're not the usual delivery guy.

There's usually one of you, not eight.

And you all have ponytails.

I hate ponytails. I am not signing...

It's gonna be a hell of a game.

Rockin' Ronnie: It's gonna be a hell of a game!

People are saying it's... gonna be a hell of a game.

I heard that.

When I, uh, got these tickets from work,

I was surprised you were down to take the other one.

When I said yes, I thought you had four,

so Mom and Steve could kind of keep the conversation going.

You know what? This will be great.

Just us.

And now, Rockin' Ronnie's gonna rest his voice

till the game starts.

Look at all the people. Good crowd.

Popular place.

Well, I'm gonna pop out and get us some Zooka Dogs.

Hey, you could stay here.

Hot hot dogs... right at your seat!

No need to walk around.

But this guy doesn't have any beers.

I got two extra beers.

You'd be doing me a favor if you took them.

It's very rude to eavesdrop.

Before the game, a reminder that all noise makers,

vuvuzelas, and air horns are strictly encouraged!

Never let the decibels drop!

Except at halftime, when, in memory of Johnny Concussion,

there will be a respectful moment of silence.

A moment of bone-crushing silence,

presented by Baby Bel Cheese!

So, when's the game start?

Kickoff's in 15 minutes... which sounds like a lot,

but if we just break it down

into 900 easy-to-digest one-second chunks...

You know what? I need something

I can only get in the concourse... a key chain!

Here you go, mister. Take mine.

Leave me alone!

Smartest move I ever made, buying the Bazooka Sharks.

All these fools are

literally paying to sit in this building.

They're idiots!

We are supposed to eat these, right?

I believe so, yes.

Excuse me. Cutting in front.

It's okay, I'm a hired escort.

Hmm. Don't be so shocked.

All the girls are escorts.

What, you think hot girls like us

would hang out with toads like you?

Ha! Dream on!

What's your name, darling?

Tawny Luxardo... one of the escorts you hired...

to have sex for money.

Listen, I got V.I.P.s here.

Stop telling everyone you're an escort.

Gotcha. Low-key, I'm all over it.

I'll circulate, but give me the signal...

Two taps on the nose and I'll come running to suck you off.

Did you just do it? I blinked.

It's the luxury box dessert cart!

- All right! - Well done!

I want the biggest chocolate cake!

Gotta watch my figure, though. I'm a hooker.

Say, aren't you fellas a little early?

Oh, I'd say we're right on time.

Huddle up, team.

I'm the quarterback and here's the play.

We get the combination to the safe, and then we disappear.

No one gets hurt and everybody wins.

It will be a real touchdown.

I'm Cyrus Mooney, boy. I don't negotiate with...

- - Oh, my God!

- I was just talking to him! - Cyrus fumbled.

Now, while we crack the safe,

my men are putting bombs around the arena.

So if anyone tries to call an audible

and contact someone outside this room, kablooey.

- My God! - We're gonna die!

Oh, of course... right after I do a huge Costco run.

Bury me with all my almonds.

Okay, okay, but how many napkins do you go through in a day?

Look, buddy, it seems like you're avoiding something

or someone by asking me ridiculous questions.

It's not ridiculous to ask how many pepperoni slices

go on a personal pan pizza.

And I told you, it's four.

And I told you I saw five once.

Avoiding someone. The nerve!

It's Dwight the Great White!

Dwight, do the Shark Shuffle!

The Shark Shuffle, Great Dwight.

How hard is it to do this?

Is that a bomb, Great Dwight?

You're not the Asian woman who plays Great Dwight!

What have you done with Lee Tran?

Where's Dad?

He loves Sky Crooner... for some reason.

- - Yes! Enjoy the facial.

Wow. That is really hot steam.

Terrorist: Hans, what's taking so long?

Hans?!

I was bragging to everyone about how fast you were.

Nobody's faster than Hans, I said.

Dad?

Lee Tran's dead?!

And you guys must be, fingers crossed, her husbands,

looking to avenge her death...

with their new friend Hayley?

Terrorist: Hans, why aren't you responding, Hans?

Hans, are you mad at me?

Yeah, he's real steamed.

What?! Who is this?!

Your worst nightmare, bad guy.

Foiling your plans will be the perfect distraction

from having awkward conversation with my daughter.

- God, why is it so... - Hello!

You have to hold the button down.

You can't just push it once.

Get your hands off me!

- They have Hayley! - Put her with the others!

Roger: Hayley, welcome to the luxury box, girl!

Grab a glass of sparkling wine

and come hang with me by the owner's brains.

The terrorists have Hayley in the owner's box.

How did Francine not see this coming?

"Stan, you should take Hayley to the game.

It'll be nice, eat some nachos, have some laughs."

"Francine, it'll be awkward."

"Stan, what could go wrong at a Bazooka Sharks game?"

"Hey, Mom, where's the applesauce?"

"In the fridge, Steve."

"I only see watery-ass Kroger."

Where's the Mott's?"

"They taste the same." "Have you lost your mind?!"

So we've got ourselves a hero.

The bomb in the rafters is armed.

Excellent.

- Hey, baddie, guess what? - What?

Chicken butt. I'm in your head now, son.

Team, switch walkies to back-up channel.

Hey, gang, it's me... one of the gang.

Looks like I forgot the back-up channel... again!

Dad's gonna come here, but I have to warn him

about the other bombs first. How?

Man: Dessert cart.

- Ooh, dessert! - Real dessert cart!

Mmm, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet!

Nobody get cute and try anything,

because we're definitely letting the dessert cart in.

I need you to get this message to Stan Smith.

He's in the arena, but I don't know where.

All the food venders here are very connected.

We'll find him.

We're kind of like a family.

I can't be seen talking...

We get drinks after work all the time.

Please go.

Almost all of us drive pickup trucks.

I've never even thought about hiring a mover.

I got Cracker Jacks! I got peanuts.

I got a secret message for Stan Smith!

I got a secret message for Stan Smith!

I got big, spicy pickles in bags!

I'm Stan Smith, the man in the vents.

Your daughter says she's fine

and go to the rafters to defuse a bomb.

So Hayley's communicating with me.

Why is that so hard for us to do in person?

You got a daughter, buddy?

- I used to. - Whatever.

I gotta get to the rafters.

So, real quick, give me a Zooka Dog, Chicago style.

Pile the onions up high like I like.

And more mustard. More mu... there you go.

Another fistful of onions. Perfect, perfect.

Now push it through the vent.