The Addams Family

[Playing The Addams Family Theme]

Think of it, Thing.

For 25 years,

we've attempted to contact Fester

in the great beyond,

and for 25 years...

nothing.

I'm beginning to think

my brother truly is lost.

Don't be a baby.

I know what I'm doing.

Help me.

Look at her.

I would die for her.

I would kill for her.

Either way, what bliss.

Unhappy, darling?

Oh, yes.

Yes, completely.

Gomez...

sun.

Il me perce comme unpoignard.

Oh, Tish.

That's French.

Oui.

Cara mia.

En garde, Monsieur Soleil!

Gomez...

Querida?

Last night you were unhinged.

You were like some desperate howling demon.

You frightened me.

Do it again.

Thank you, Lurch.

Damn you, Addams!

Sorry about the window, Judge.

Keep the ball.

I have a whole bucketful.

You moron!

It is a milestone, Tish.

This very night, our 25th seance.

All those years gnawed by guilt...

undone by woe...

burning with uncertainty.

Don't torture yourself, Gomez.

That's my job.

Oh, Tish.

Imagine, darling, if Fester did come back...

half alive... barely human,

a rotting shell.

Don't tease.

Ouch!

Stop it!

I'm warning you.

Look, darling. Tully is here.

Ah!

Tully!

Romping with Gate.

These are your last paying clients,

may I remind you?

If it gives you pleasure.

Something has to,

like a decent coat,

something dressy for evening.

Ask for a loan-- beg.

No loans. I am not a bum.

Don't say it.

I'll get the money. I have a plan.

This is all so humiliating.

Why did I marry you?

Because I said yes.

I'm here to see Mrs. Addams

about the charity auction.

Stop it! Let go of me!

Ah, missed!

What's that?

Dirty pool, old man.

I like it.

Had enough?

Hah!

Where's my pen?

Never mind.

I'll take yours.

First, the old business.

Charity auction. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps it's in here.

I don't think so.

"Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe."

"Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe."

"Uncle Niknak."

"The Fester Addams offshore retirement fund"?

What would it do?

What wouldn't it do?

Fester, all tribute to thee.

Some called him inhumanly evil.

No.

Only our parents.

I called him brother.

His memory must live on forever... through money.

I'm depositing the funds under my name for tax purposes.

That's inspired.

He would've wanted it that way.

Beloved Fester.

Indeed!

For Fester!

For Fester, a brother.

My brother!

One of a kind!

- The doctors all said! - Kind to animals.

So good with children.

They never proved anything.

$1 million is the perfect amount.

It's brilliant.

It's untraceable.

But, Tully, it's not old business.

It's going to have to wait. You know the rules better than that.

This is different. This is in my name.

Make an exception.

Old business is old business.

This is new business,

and we do not discuss new business until...

next quarter.

Next quarter?

Next quarter?

Fine lunge,

but your riposte-- tsk tsk tsk,

a tad rusty.

Make yourself comfortable, old man,

while I get the money for the monthly expenses.

There it is.

Just what we've been searching for.

Thank you, Thing.

My God.

What is it?

A finger trap from the court of Emperor Wu.

It must be worth a fortune.

Ooh, Morticia.

This is too extravagant...

even for the auction.

Let's keep it.

Hush, Mama.

It's for charity.

Widows and orphans.

We need more of them.

Margaret...

Hmm?

About the seance tonight.

I wish you'd come.

It's Gomez.

I'm terribly worried about him.

He won't eat.

He can't sleep.

He keeps coughing up blood.

He coughs up blood?

Well, not like he used to.

Down, kitty!

There.

The monthly expenses.

Miss Bradbury.

Miss Bradbury!

She's gone home, Mr. Alford.

Oh, Mrs. Craven.

I wasjust about to call you.