Modern Family

Hey, you guys.

I packed up some dishes for the new house.

I even found your old sippy cup

for when the little one comes along.

- Aww. - Thanks, Mr. D.

Thanks, Dad.

Is, uh, Mom still in there making that judgy face?

Haley, you've known her for 25 years.

Just call it her face.

Haley's pregnancy is off to a rough start.

Nausea, moodiness, trouble sleeping...

Claire's got it all.

Me, I'm just trying to keep the peace

here in Hormone Town.

Oh, can you believe it, Claire?

Our little girl is growing up.

Yeah, it seems like just yesterday

we were carrying all these boxes downstairs

after she got arrested and kicked out of college.

Ah.

Yeah, I've been through a lot, too.

I've been a limo driver, a lead singer,

a ranch hand, a Dapper Dan at Disneyland,

a t-shirt designer, a sign spinner

and now a nursing student with a baby on the way.

It's all going according to plan.

Oh.So, we're gonna take some stuff over.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's get a, uh...

Let's get a mother/daughter picture.

- Oh... - Oh, honey, I don't...

we... we really don't have to.

No, no, no. It'll be cute.

Uh, Dad, you're being weird. No one wants this.

Hang on here.

Nope, that's my finger.

So many fun filters.

- Just take the picture! - Just take the picture!

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Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Tlevision and ABC, Inc.

and brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can.

*MODERN FAMILY* Season 10 Episode 11

Episode Title: "A Moving Day" Sync corrections by srjanapala

Claire, look at the positive.

One of our kids is finally moving out.

After her pregnancy test, I've had enough positives.

Kind of reminds me of two other unmarried, pregnant,

lovestruck kids who moved in together about...

25 years ago.

It's not the same.

I don't know. Acid-wash their jeans

and put a dream catcher in Dylan's ear,

and it's exactly the same.

Honey, I had a dream last night

that they left the baby in an Uber,

and I had to shrink myself down

to commandeer a hummingbird to find it.

I'm just glad it wasn't another Jake Tapper sex dream.

I'm mad. I'm scared they're in over their heads...

Claire, it's happening. They're having the baby.

The train's left the station. Get on board.

Fine.

You're right.

You're right. I'll... I'll try to be positive.

Good. I was gonna go pick up a house-warming gift for them.

- Why don't you come with me? - Oh, okay, let's do that.

Wait a second. How do you board a train

that's already left the station?

I don't know. Maybe you could catch up to them

on a hummingbird with Jake Tapper.

Well, you're off the hook.

I'm flying to Branson solo,

and I guess I'll be sitting next to a stranger

at The Osmond Brothers: A Tribute to Hip Hop.

Well, I'll catch them when they come to Compton,

but thank you.

Well, it's the least I could do

after what you did for my sister, Pam.

My sister, Pam, is coming to pick up Cal to...

to take him back to Missouri.

She was supposed to be in prison another three months,

but my wonderful husband,

Assistant D.A. Pritchett, wrote a letter

advocating for her early release.

It was nothing.

It actually was nothing.

I never wrote any letter.

It just... It didn't feel right.

Pam showed no remorse, and her sentence was fair.

And... And then for some reason,

they decided to let her out early anyway.

Fortunately, uh, parole records are sealed,

so Pam and Cam will never know,

and I don't have to go to Branson

and hear the Osmonds ask if they can get a "what-what."

That's her!

Cal, that's your mom!

She's back from her, um... trip?

Up the river.

Pam! There she is!

Hey, y'all! Oh, it's so good

- to see you! - Hi! - Hi.

Momma!

There's my little chicken nugget!

Ooh, my goodness!

I missed you so much. How have you been?

They read to me every night.

Aw, don't worry, baby.

That's all over now.

Oh, almost forgot!

Look what Momma made you.

I'm gonna put it on my bike!

Oh, he's gonna put it on his bike!

Oh, Pam, it is so great that you're out.

It must've been so lonely in there.

Well, there was some companionship.

Good.

- I dabbled in lesbianism. - Oh.

Didn't hate it.

But there was just too much talking afterwards.

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get you some iced tea.

- Yeah. - Again,

I'm... I'm so sorry that you can't stay upstairs.

We have this new renter coming in,

- and... - Cram it.

I know you didn't send that letter.

What? H-How?

That don't matter.

All that matters is you're gonna pay.

- Oh... - In prison, they called me BOTOX,

because even though all the ladies want me,

I will wreck your face.

Sherry, I-I don't know if I like these.

They're so short.

No, that's the style, boo.

I just don't know if I have the ankles for this.

Yeah, those pants are no good for Latin people.

They make you look like you're trying to run across a river.

Well, I think you look great.

You should only wear pants like that from now on.

Okay.

Manny, we should start sending invitations

for your birthday party.

Oh, but I thought we were gonna go to

the Ojai Mime and Wine Festival for your birthday?

Oh, yeah, maybe we shouldn't do the party, Mom.

This is crazy.

Manny's terrified of mimes.

And he hates Central Valley wine.

Hey, great news.

My Sausage of the Month arrived a day early.

You get to be here for the un-boxing.

I'm not gonna film it this time.

Kielbasa, yes!

They took my suggestion again.

I told you it's not a suggestion.

The web page is just asking you to choose one.

Anyways, we have a problem.

Sherry is bossing Manny around.

Oof, that's a lot to take in.

Can you cook these up with that special sauce you do?

You have to go and tell him

- that he needs to stand up for himself. - Why me?

I-I don't think we should get involved at all, but, I mean,

if it's a problem for you, then you do it,

'cause I don't care.

I can't.

If I say something bad about Manny's girlfriend,

he's not gonna listen, because I am the mother

who thinks that nobody's good enough for her little boy.

- Just let it go. - I can't

because she's not good enough for my little boy.

I'm gonna take a pass.

Then I'm gonna take a pass making your sausages

with my grandmother's spicy onion sauce.

Fine, I'll do it.

But all these demands don't sound very second wife-y.

Hey, kid.

I need to talk to you about you and your girlfriend.

It's a sensitive subject.

If this is about the sounds coming from my room last night,

it wasn't what you think.

We were rearranging the furniture, and then

we were congratulating each other on how it turned out.

Sadly, I believe you.

I thought you liked your furniture exactly like it was?

We fired two cleaning women over this.

I thought I did, too, but it turns out I didn't.

Actually, that's what I don't want to talk to you about.

Is it possible Sherry pushes you around?

- What are you saying? - I don't know.

Be the man, you know.

Show some backbone.

That is such a you thing to say.

- It really isn't. - It's such an old way

of looking at relationships.

Gender roles don't matter anymore.

Is that why you're wearing her pants?

Let me tell you something, Jay.

Just like long pants,

toxic machismo has gone out of style.