Moonbase 8

Good morning, gentlemen. We are officially beginning

launch sequence for Condor 4

rocket simulator.

How's the weather out there, Cap?

We are good-- weather is excellent for launch.

Good thing you didn't pack your umbrella.

Copy that.

Chris, you want to chime in on any of this?

It would be great to have your feedback here.

Confirming it's a beautiful day.

Cap, how's the visuals out there? Over.

I'll tell you what, we got one gorgeous Condor 4 rocket

standing by on the launchpad.

Permission to arm boosters.

And approved.

Rocket booster... armed.

Launch sequence beginning in T-minus nine,

- eight, - nine,

- seven, - eight,

- six, five-- - seven,

- let's give the same thing-- - six,

- four... - five...

- five, four... - Stand by. Let's synch up.

- Abort. Abort. - three...

- Stand by, Cap. - We're not doing ten?

I'm gonna count down "three, two, one,"

and then we go... "nine, eight,

-seven." I'm gonna count-- -Just press it.

No, we are not gonna just press it.

On my command,

-and then we begin the "ni--" -V, V, Victor, V, V, zero.

Victor-Victor-Victor- Henry-Zero.

Preflight launch codes initiated.

Okay, beginning from "three, two, one."

- Launching. - No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah!

And she's up!

-Oh, oh, -No, no!

We've lost Condor 4!

It's right here.

- Christopher hit his knee. - No, I'm fine.

We're gonna have you looked at.

I'm fine. Seriously.

Look-look here. See that?

Looks like someone forgot to adjust the left stabilizer.

So, it looks like somebody forgot

to adjust the left stabilizer.

Well, live and learn.

- Exactly. Live and learn. - That's what Christopher

- is always talking about. Yeah. - I was just about to say that.

All right, so let's do an action team.

- Let's figure out what happened. - Oh, I, um, I got to get going.

They're picking me up in, like, an hour.

It's that late? Yeah. You're shipping out,

- aren't you? - I know.

- It was great to meet you guys. - Oh, good to meet you.

Yeah. I would've missed looking you in the eye, that's for sure.

- Yeah. - Come here.

Oh, all right. Short but sweet, short but sweet.

- All right. - Chris. Up here, bud.

- Yeah. - All right.

That guy was just here for a week.

- We've been up here 535 days. - 535?

No, no. I've been keeping count.

It's 643, including today.

No, no. Definitely over 600,

but we're not that high.

- It's not over 600. - But we started in June,

and we're in August now.

You're counting two Augusts.

30 days hath September...

- always remember... - It doesn't matter.

The point is, we've been here way too long.

I mean, look at all the other people

that have come through here-- Alisha-- how long was she here?

Three days? Christopher went up.

Andy went up.

The guy from Germany, Ralph?

- What was it, Rowlf? Ralph? - Rowlf.

I thought he was n... not a good pick.

I thought he was great.

I mean, everyone's talking about going to the next level.

When are we gonna go to the next level?

- Maybe we're never going up. - Guys...

take a big fat chill pill,

with this kind of attitude.

Of course we're going up to the Moon.

Well, I don't think it would be out of bounds to write to NASA

and request some clarity.

So, you want to poke the bear?

I don't want to poke the bear.

I just want to sort of send a little reminder--

You write an unsolicited letter to NASA,

you're poking the bear, and if you're gonna poke the bear,

you better be ready to really get that bear's attention.

Got to jab that bear.

- Dear NASA... - "Dear NASA"?

What is this, a love letter?

Hit 'em. "To whom it may concern," exclamation point.

You don't need an explanation point there.

You just... you either put a colon or a comma.

- Hey. - No.

What are you up to?

That's too soft.

Be direct, at least.

Okay.

We are...

demanding-- and in parenthesis--

Sorry.

- Why do you...? - An update on our status.

- There you go. - On our status.

Is that, You see that...

Looks like...

- horses out there. - What?

Oh, yeah, we got armed riders out there.

Clean that up and send it, will you?

Hello.

Come on out.

What is it, Halloween?

That's your costume?

You're trick-or-treating or what?

Hey, boys.

- What are you doing? - Easy, Kyle.

- Cool down, boy. - Sorry, boss.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

- Hello. - We help you?

You're on our land, mister.

- I need you to clear out. - You guys are actually

on federal land right now.

This is a very valuable NASA research project.

I don't think so, Moon man.

Here's a map. Read it.

We're gonna have a cattle run through here

in a couple of days, and I'm gonna tell you

what's gonna happen.

250,000 head of cattle gonna come up that road

right there, and they gonna be whooped up,

and they gonna start a stampede.

So I suggest you clear the hell out.

Excuse me, sir.

We've worked very hard, just recently

-moving the base-- -Well, if you'd left

your dumb base where it was, we'd have no problem.

- But you're in our way now. - Yeah!

- We're not armed. - Stop shooting!

- Why is he firing a gun? - Kyle!

- Are you hit? - I'm not hit, no.

- He's firing into the air. - Am I hit?

No, you're clean.

If anything happens to this herd,

you break it,

you bought it.

If you ain't got any cash to pay for it...

we'll figure out some other method of payment.

What's that supposed to mean?

- This is scientific. - It was a threat.

Clear out, boys!

See you, boys!

- What do we got? - These coordinates. Let's see.

Yeah, we moved the base

right onto their land and the cattle pass.

Shit!

I mean, should we tell NASA about the ranchers?

No! We just sent them a nasty letter about a status update!

Now we're gonna tell them we have cow troubles?

They're never gonna let us go to the Moon.

Well, can we rewrite the letter?

No, we sent it!

Well, maybe we should move the base.

I mean, we should just go back to our original location, no?

- No, no, no, we're not moving! - No way.

That move almost killed me!

And the stupid cattle drive's in 48 hours!

I think we should just abandon the base

and just get out of here.

You guys,

we are sitting ducks here, do you understand that?

If we hurt one of their cows with our equipment out there,

they're gonna come to you with that M16.

No, no, no, no! Calm down!

We got to... Just give me a second to think!

Cap? You okay, man?

Hey, Rook.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Have a seat.

You're not wearing your helmet.

Yeah, I know.

You can take yours off if you want.

You sure?

Doesn't matter.

Come up with any good ideas, Cap?

No.

I'm just sitting here looking up at what might have been.

I moved us. That's on me.

Tomorrow, we'll call it in and pack it up.

Then it's back to Honolulu for me

and a world of debt.

Back to passing out airsick bags

to tourists on a chopper.

Well, it's been a pleasure to get to know you.