A Christmas Wedding Tail

isn't Christmas beautiful?

The decorations, the ornaments and my favorite--

gingerbread! Yum!

My name's Rusty.

And I hope you're in the mood for a good old-fashioned Christmas tail,

'cause I've got one.

This wasn't just any Christmas.

Yep, that's me-- Rusty Campbell.

No, that-- that's not me. Over-- move over-- yeah, that's me.

Look at you, Mr. Handsome.

And that beautiful babe next to me-- that's Cheri.

Watch it, buster.

What? I'm telling the story here.

Seriously, folks, isn't she the most beautiful bride you've ever seen?

Your owner's not so bad either.

Do you, Jake, take Susan

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

to have and to hold, in sickness and in health,

for as long as you both shall live?

Oops, getting ahead of ourselves here.

If you want to hear this Christmas wedding tail,

we've got to go all the way back to the beginning.

It was early October and Susan had taken me

to the dog park for some quality bonding time.

Little did I know my life was about to change forever.

There's got to be something available, Pat.

There's got to be something available, Pat.

No, Susan, listen, you've got to be patient, okay?

There's got to be something.

You hear that?

That's not sleigh bells. That's the sound of crickets.

Towards the end of the year, none of the major museums are hiring.

None of them?

Relax. Don't get your bloomers in a bunch, okay?

A curator with your qualifications is gonna get offers.

It's just gonna take some time.

Well, I hope so.

Maybe something back East,

let me get out of California altogether.

Don't worry, you will. But in the meantime, do me a favor.

You know how those small towns are-- they suck you in.

And next thing you know you're running a little coffee shop or something..

Don't worry. I'm a city girl.

The small town is not for me.

That's when I saw her,

her tail floated through the air like a cloud.

I just love a woman with a sense of style.

- Rusty!

Is everything okay up there, Susan?

Rusty, Rusty.

You go get 'em, Sue. You go get 'em. All right, all right.

Pat here. How can I be of service?

You need a job, huh? Well, you came to the right place, buddy.

I'm going into a tunnel. Oh my gosh. Oh look, I'm losing you.

Don't touch my fish. They're poisonous.

- Hey there. - This is an A and B conversation,

so why don't you C your way out of it?

My name is Rusty.

I'm Not Interested.

At least tell me your name. If you don't tell me,

I'm going to have to guess. Foo-Foo? Pookie? Tawana?

Not even close.

Rusty, got you.

Cheri, I leave you for a minute, and already you've made some friends here.

Cheri. I loved the way it rolled off the tongue--

or the way it would have rolled off the tongue if I could actually speak.

It was love at first sniff.

Everything okay? Lana, what are you up to?

Oh, it's okay. I think they just got away from us for a second.

- It's good to see you, Jake. - Thank you, Reverend. How are you?

- I'm great. Thank you for asking. - Good.

Listen, I've got to run. Hey, Susan, do me a favor.

- Will you tell your mom I said hi? - I will.

See you guys later. Come on, let's go, Lana. Come on.

Hi.

Rusty, you cannot run away from Mommy like that.

You about gave me a heart attack.

Okay, easy with the Mommy stuff. I'm with a lady here.

Oh, it's okay. They've got great security here.

It's really not a problem.

Besides, it looks like they like each other.

"Like" is a strong word.

- Yeah. - This is my Cheri.

Yes, I said Cheri. And my name is Jake.

Cheri. Wow.

I'm Susan and this is Rusty.

Hey Rusty. How are you, buddy? Well, it's nice to meet you guys.

I haven't seen you around though. Are you new?

Yeah, we just moved up from LA.

Oh, a city dog, huh? I should have known.

Really? That's a big change. Why the move?

Um, lots of reasons.

Mostly my mom has an antique store over in Los Olives.

Gussied Up-- maybe you've heard of it.

- I have. - Yeah, I'm just helping her out.

Well, I hope your mom's working you hard.

Oh yeah, she's a slave driver.

In fact, I'd better get going.

- Okay, sounds good. - Okay.

Nice meeting you. Okay. Come on, honey.

Hey, you know, if you want to actually do something fun,

I work at a winery. Bridle wood-- maybe you've heard of it.

No, I haven't.

If you would like, I could give you a personal tour.

Maybe Friday at 5:00, 1:30 or 2:30...

...or 4:45-- whatever works for you?

As I sat there watching for what felt like an eternity,

all I could think about was, "The next words out of her mouth

could define my romantic destiny."

Oh, you can be so dramatic.

Sounds like a plan.

Sounds good. Nice meeting you.

All right.

It's been a pleasure meeting you, madam.

Oh, believe me, the pleasure was all yours.

Bye.

Come on, Cheri.

I love it when a plan comes together.

That night I could barely sleep.

She was all I could think about-- her gorgeous hair,

the way her hindquarters shook when she walked.

Hey, there might be kids watching this.

It turns out I wasn't the only one bitten by the love bug.

You met someone?

What's his name? Does he have a job?

Mom, it's no big deal.

We met at the dog park.

Hey!

Dude.

- Hey man. - You just about gave me a heart attack.

Sorry. I was just cleaning this.

So did you get this whole thing cleaned?

I cleaned it. It's clean.

- Hey. - What?

- I meta girl. - What?

Yes, at the dog park. She's beautiful.

She's even got a little dog that can hang out with my little Cheri.

- Here's the kicker. - What?

She's not from around here, just moved into the area.

And I told her I worked at a winery. I invited her over for a little tour.

He offered to show me around the winery where he works.

The winery? He works at-- does he own the winery?

You told her you work at a winery? You should say, "I own a winery."

- That's what I say. - I don't know.

Details.

I guess I figured new town-- new start.

Maybe it's time to get back on the horse.

Did you say anything about the kids?

Well, no. It was this fast. It was like, "Hey, our dogs like each other.

You want to come to the winery?" It was that fast.

I didn't get a chance to talk about the kids.

Are you crazy? You didn't say anything about the kids?

A single mother of three boys--

some men might find that intimidating.

Wait wait wait, don't you watch "Oprah"?

Sensitive guys are in, dude.

Says the guy who thought "The Notebook" was a comedy.

Look, you don't know anything about him. Just don't get hurt.

I won't let myself get hurt, Mom.

Okay, I have to go pick up the boys.

What time do we open anyway?

Two hours ago.

Okay, Rusty, let's go.

Come on, let's go get your boys.

Wait a second. So you don't actually work at a vineyard?

You own this vineyard?

I actually inherited it when my folks passed away.

it's beautiful.

It is beautiful.

I've actually had a lot of offers from people to buy this place,

but I can't imagine anyone else managing it.

And half the people that work here have been here since before I was born.

Whoa. Watch your step.

- Here, hold on to my arm. - Thank you.

What about you? What was your business back in LA?

I was a curator at the California Museum of Art.

- Really? - Yes.

Wow. What happened?

Budget cuts. My department got consolidated.

So here I am.

Ouch.

Where are all the grapes?

The grapes have already been harvested.

They've been barreled. They're fermenting.

And we'll bottle them by Christmas.

Oh, Christmas. I love Christmas.

Yeah, me too.

It's the time of year I can remember my whole family being together.

Mm.

Yeah.

- Are you hungry? - Yeah, I'm starving.

That's good, 'cause I had the chef make something special for us.

- Shall we? - We shall.

Let's do it. All right.

- There it is. - There you go.

Oh, that smells delicious.

Sir.

Okay.

Wow, thanks, Frank.

It's a special mixture of black truffles, sausage