Threesome

- Hi. - Hi. 20701126

- What's it like to live with Mario? - It's alright.

He gave me his spare room, so...

It's good to have my own space, you know.

- How long can you stay? - For as long as I want.

- What about his mum? - She doesn't really live there.

She just keeps the flat. So...

She seems pretty flush.

Okay, so I don't have a plan or anything, for how we do this.

Maybe you want to go first.

If you have something you want to say.

No, I don't know. You go first.

I know I'm the one who's wrecked everything, David. I know that.

I wish I could just take it back, or...

make it go away, but I can't.

Why did you do it?

Why did you lie?

Because I just couldn't take it anymore.

Take what?

I guess I've felt... for a while now...

that I don't really know what I want or where the hell I'm going.

That I'm just pretending that I know what the hell I'm doing.

But really...

What, so you've been pretending with me, too? Or what?

No. I've always known that I want to be with you, David.

It felt so fucking safe, you know.

- But... - But?

When we, or when that thing happened with her... it was sort of like

I just sort of lost it.

It was as if I realised that what we have...

you could easily have with someone else.

It sounds so stupid saying it, it's bloody obvious, but...

I've just never thought about it in that way before.

It was like...

the most precious thing I had...

or the one thing I really had faith in...

wasn't certain anymore, either.

And then I started to have all these crazy thoughts,

that I had to sort of distance myself from you.

In a way, break free or something.

And I don't know why I was thinking like that, I just...

I just fucking panicked.

That's when I started messaging with him.

I figured it wasn't that big of a deal, just...

Just messaging someone.

But I know it was wrong. I know that.

Why did you lie to me?

All the shit I had to put up with, after we were with her.

I don't think you get it.

I was going around feeling like an absolute dick.

And you were seeing him.

I know.

What do you want me to do, David?

I'll do anything.

I'm out of here.

- Shit... - Hello there, flatmate!

- Yes... - I know!

- The room feels so much bigger. - Yeah.

Right, so I moved the bed, you can move it back if you want.

This bloody thing has to stay, though.

It's supposed to fold up, but I have no idea how to bloody do it.

But...

Scented candle.

I mean... how good does that smell?

I got this for you. It's a little moving in gift.

Thanks a lot.

There.

Oh, boy.

Right? This is great place to chill out.

Yeah... damn right.

How, how did it go with Siri? Did you guys talk?

- She did most of the talking. - So what did she say?

Just a load of crap. I don't know.

Okay.

Right, want to get something to eat?

- Like, go to the shop or something? - Yeah.

- Sounds good. - Yeah?

Fuck you, man. You'll never catch me now.

The quickest man without legs.

- I'm, I'm like not even hungry. - What, how long has it been?

36 hours. So that's when you start producing glucose, right,

and your brain's flooded with all these ketones.

It's like, your body's natural energy source,

so you become productive like hell.

And put a shitload of cream into this

and, no pasta for me.

That's just turning to mush. Can't we just leave that out?

It'll taste great. It's just those big pieces that are...

I can't even stand here.

But honestly, David, you really ought to try fasting.

All the main men do it. Socrates, Plato, Marcus Aurelius.

I totally get why. It really clears out your head.

I feel like a fucking laser beam.

It's like taking a gram of coke, only better and more natural.

Some fucking life hack, man.

Fucking life!

- You know what's really fucked up? - What?

I knew she had been with someone else all along.