King of the Hill

Gum's still here, Joseph.

-That's 37 days and counting. -(door opens)

Hey, what's Amy doing?

Maybe she's giving everyone pictures of herself

so we can take them home and stare at them.

I heard some dude tell this other dude in the bathroom

that she's having a party.

Joseph, we have to go to this party.

Do you think she'll invite us?

We're so in.

Remember how you made her laugh when you did your monkey voice?

Yeah, but then you asked if her mom was as hot as she is,

and it really freaked her out.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna touch her neck.

Put your hand down!

You weren't invited.

I hate Amy.

No, I love her.

Look, there she is with all her "cool" friends.

Wait, how did the new kid make the inner circle?

Kathy Griffin is going all in.

Why do movie stars think

we wanna watch them play poker?

Mom, Dad,

I need some money to get a new pair of jeans.

What happened to your old pair?

Did you make cut-offs again?

No, but I need something cooler.

I think a hundred dollars ought to cover it.

Ugh!

There's no way I'm buying you those jeans.

They're asinine.

Bobby, sometimes you're cooler

if you don't wear what everyone else is wearing.

So that's it?

I don't get a say in what I get to wear?

Not when I'm paying for it.

I'd pay for it, but I don't have any money.

Well, that's too bad.

Because if you did,

I couldn't tell you what to spend it on.

Really?

Well, sure.

Someone who makes his own money is his own man.

No one can tell him what to do or what to buy.

I'm gonna get a job.

Yep.

Yep.

Yup.

Mm-hmm.

So Bobby wants me to spend a hundred dollars

on some idiotic jeans that already look 20 years old.

Are kids today so lazy they can't break in a pair of pants?

Rhetorical question. Not grounds for conversation.

Moving on.

Don't be such a cheapskate, Hank Hill.

You and Peggy made him look like you.

The least you could do is buy him nice pants.

Shut up, Kahn.

I told Bobby if he wanted them,

he'd have to buy them with his own money.

He said he's gonna get a job,

but I'm not holding my breath.

If I had a son,

I'd buy him whatever he wanted.

Of course, he'd probably end up walking all over me.

But we'd have fun for a while.

Sorry, I'm late.

Grillstravaganza's coming up and, well, I got to daydreaming.

That's okay, Dad.

We saved you a seat right here.

What the heck is that?

I got a job.

Joseph and I are advertising the new apartments

on Frontier Street.

Isn't it exciting, Hank?

And look, he's a natural.

Bobby, where's the kitchen?

Over there.

Well, that's great, Bobby.

You wanted a job, and you went out and got one.

That's gumption, I tell you what.

Well, this gumption's gonna buy me some jeans.

Hey, Dad, can you pass me the butter?

Let's eat, then after dinner,

you can point at things.

Whoever decided where to put the rips is a genius.

Okay, Joseph,

time to make some money so we can buy those jeans.

Hey, that guy's reading your arrow.

Make him turn! Close the deal!

Did he turn?

Excuse me.

Where do I go to find a deluxe apartment?

Why this way, sir.

He's only 13, moron.

Why would he wanna rent an apartment?

I just thought--

Nice outfit.

You look like a lipstick.

Why don't you use that arrow to find your butt?

This job has made us so dorky, I want to kick my own ass.

Oh, no, cool guys.

And you look like that and I look like this.

Just put your head down and keep walking.

Yeah, righteous.

Hey, what's up, dudes?

Us? Dudes?

Yeah, you dudes. What's going on?

Uh, not much. Just hanging.

Yeah, hanging.

Feel that. You got some change?

-Sure. -Sure.

-(coins jingle) -Thanks, man.

You're all right.

If it's a party, we'll be there.

Hey, can I have a dollar?

Get a job.

I tried, but yours doesn't pay enough.

So is Tanya coming?

She's smokin'.

Change? You got any change?

Dude, tell him not to let Tommy deejay.

He's going through a weird country music phase.

Change?

Thanks, bra.

There you go.

So, wait... you guys just ask people for money,

and they give it to you?

Some do, some don't.

It separates the righteous from those who are just taking up space.

Great shoes.

Can I have some of your money? Thanks.

Bumming is so cool.

This is my spot!

Spongy's spot!

Yeah, right.

I don't see your name on it.

Hey, Drew, do you see "Weird Old Dude" written on the sidewalk?

Nah, man.

Why would we give up this primo location?

No, Spongy's spot.

Been here since Ronald Reagan kicked me out of my mental hospital.

When was that?

Back in like 19-something?

Oh, come on.

He's not very cool, is he?

Not at all, man.

Nice. I'm only two bucks away

from those kick-ass aviator shades.

Here.

Thanks, bro-bah.

I'll catch you later.

-Catch you later! -Catch you later!

Aw, man, I guess we got to go back to work.

Joseph, I'm giving us a promotion.

We're begging!

Could you maybe spare some...

change?

If you give me a dollar

-you can punch me anywhere but my head. -(gasps)

Joseph, don't be like that Spongy guy.

Nobody wants to give money to someone who's desperate.

They want to give it to someone who's cool.

Look at Derek,

he acts like he doesn't even want the money.

Like he's doing them a favor by taking it.

Hi, Derek.

We brought you a veggie wrap.

Hugs!

Aw, man, he's really got it going on.

Wait, did I just sound like a chick?

Okay, I think I got the hang of this.

Hey, dude. Change?

Change?

Got some change for me?

I did it!

You know, if you take the paper off this sander,

-it makes a nice massager. -(whirring)

My neck feels like Jell-O.

So, I saw Bobby leaving for work pretty early this morning.

Not that I was watching your house.

Yeah, I guess he's really enjoying his job.

You know, I don't want to count my chickens,

but everything I've been trying to teach Bobby

may be finally sinking in.

Why does it always take a hardware store

to get you to open up, Hank?

Wash your windows?

Spongy?

What are you doing over here?

This isn't your neck of the woods.

No money for Spongy.

Too many people. Took my spot.

Well, dang, that ain't right.

You've been there for years.

Since Ronald Reagan kicked me out of my mental hospital.

Well, it was complicated, Spongy.