Private Practice

Private Practice S01E05

Hey.

Hey.

This Isn't Good, You Being Here.

You Want Me To Take The Stairs?

Working Together. I...

I Can't Focus.

I Can't Think.

Really?

It's...

Your Red Hair...

And Your Brain.

I Am Very Smart.

I Barely Notice Your Incredible Breasts

Or Your Cellulite-free Thighs

Because Your Brain Is Such An Immense Turn-on To A Man As Highly Evolved As I Am.

Yes.

I Can See How I Might Turn You On.

Ahh.

Pete? Pete Is Your Dream Guy?

Maya, Yore Gonna Be Late.

She Had A Friend Spend The Night Last Night,

Which I Would Normally Never Do On A School Night,

But I'm Trying To Be The Fun Parent Now So...

Well, He's Not My Dream Guy, Okay?

I Had A Dream About Him Last Night...

And The Night Before That... Oh.

- And... The Night Before That. - Okay. Maya.

I Can Do Dreams. It's Just That These Particular Dreams,

They're Just Making Me Incredibly... Do Not Sleep With Pete.

I Don't Want To Sleep With Pete.

My Head Wants To Sleep With Pete.

It's Not Your Head That Wants To Do The Sleeping. Maya!

I'm Right Here, Mom. God. Okay.

Hi, Auntie Addison. This Is Ruby.

Uh, You Didn't... how Long Have You Two Been Standing There?

Why? What Are You Guys Talking About?

Shoes. Shoes.

Hey, Pete.

You Guys Killed At The Millrose Games.

Yeah. Hey, Uh, I Was Hoping You Could Take A Look At Nic.

Hey, Nic.

She's Got A Cold. Doesn't Want To See A Doctor.

She's Afraid Taking Something Will Mess Her Up.

My Stride Felt Off. I Got Nothing Left At The End.

Uh, Nic, This Is Pete Wilder.

***

~~~

Well, Pete Does Holistic Medicine. Maybe I Can Treat You Without Meds.

Why Don't You Stop By Later Today? We'll See What's Going On.

Okay.

Wanna Race?

Uh... No. You Go Ahead.

Okay, I Think We All Have A Pretty Full Day,

So Let's Just, Uh, Make This One Quick, Okay?

Uh, Let Me Mention Quickly

That Dell Is Doing His First Solo Pap Smear Today.

We Should All Be Proud. Great.

It's Just Pap Smears. No Big Deal. Y, Don't Choke, Man, Okay?

I Know It Might Seem Dark And Scary In There, But I...

Do Not Mock The Midwife.

Next Order Of Business.

Nicole Clemmons Is Coming In This Afternoon. Oh, The Runner?

She Says She Has A Cold, But I Heard Wheezing.

I've Ordered Some Pulmonary Function Tests At St. Ambro...

Why Do You Look So...

You Look Hot.

I...

Do I?

No, I Mean, You Look Hot As In Flushed...

Overheated.

Um, The Next Order Of Business? Let's...

You're Fantasizing About Pete?

What? Naomi.

She's A Licensed Professional.

I Do Not Need Professional Help.

William Jefferson Clinton.

Huh?

It's 2010,

Bill And Hillary Have Grown Apart.

It's Nothing He Did. Just... It Happens.

We Inexplicably Run Into Each Other Athe Lincoln Memorial,

And It's Very Late At Night. Oh, My God.

He Recognizes Something In Me,

Something That Makes Him Feel Whole.

Some Talk About The Camp David Summit,

Some Chat About How We Can't Possibly,

The Secret Service Is...

The Next Thing You Know,

I Have A Presidential Library In Little Rock

And There's A Legendary Picture Of Me And Bill Laughing

And Sharing Sections Of "The Times,"

While Our Child Plays Under The Dinner Table...

And...

Orgasm.

You're Really Over Allan, Aren't You?

Oh, I Got Bill Now. Bill's All I Need.

So You Don't Think About Someone Real?

Oh, Bill's Real. Bill Is... Very Real.

Not Pete Real.

Not In The Office Real.

M-my Point Is,

Whatever Helps You Scratch The Itch... Is Fine.

Oh, I Don't Do That. What?

Hello.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, Uh, Okay.

I Will, Uh, Be Right There.

Okay.

I Gotta Go.

Uh, I'll See You Later.

She Doesn't Do That?

If You Have Any Pain, Let Me Know. Okay.

Hey, A Patient Of Yours Is In The E.R. Beth Burton.

Somebody Broke Into Her House. She's... she's Hurt.

Her Husband Just Flew In From A Business Trip.

He'll Meet You At The Hospital.

Is She Gonna Be Okay, Though?

It Wasn't That Bad. The Man...

I Came Down The Stairs, I Saw Him There,

And He Got Spooked And Took Off.

And I Tripped And Fell Into The Glass Table.

Well, That's A Pretty Bad Cut.

I'm Gonna Need A C.T.

Okay, Well, I'll Call Your Mom,

Go Check On The Kids. Okay?

Okay.

Pretty Frightening.

Oh. It Could've Been So Much Worse.

Mm. Bill.

Bill?

- Naomi Cannot Keep A Secret. - Okay, Okay, Okay,

First Of All, Who Are You To Talk? Oh...

Second Of All, Did You Notice Who I Wasn't Talking About?

Allan. Hey.

I'm Tellin' Ya... Yeah.

I Am Over The Hump.

Hey, Were You Expecting Allan? 'cause He's Here. - Okay, That's... That's Not Funny.

You Hear Me Talking About Allan,

And You Want To Mess Me Up, Pap Smear Boy.

No, Violet, He's... he's Here.

I Mean, Allan's... In The Lobby Here.

Uh, Okay.

You... you Tell Him To Get Lost.

It's Like He's Got Friggin' Spidey Sense.

Every Time The Two Of You Split Up,

- The Exact Moment You Can Breathe Again... - Violet.

Coop, Hey.

Al, Hey.

Do You... do You Have A Minute?

- You Have Patients. - I Have Patients.

Right. Yeah. It's The Middle Of The Work Day.

I Was Just...

I Was Thinking About You.

And, Um...

A-another Time, Maybe.

Good Girl.

Allan, I... I Have A Minute.

Maya?

What's With The Stealth Call And The Hiding?

Aren't You Girls Supposed To Be In School?

You Didn't Tell My Mom, Did You?

Not Yet.

What's The Emergency?

It's...

We Think... i Mean...

I Think That... Maya Totally Has A Disease.

A Disease?

What Kind Of Disease?

Tell Her, Maya.

I'm... I'm Pretty Sure I Have Gonorrhea.

- Hey. - Hey.

John Went To Go Fill Out Surance Forms.

Well, Your C.T. Is A Negative. How You Doing?

- Cold. - Yeah.

Okay. Dr. Bennett...

Um... I Saw Something The News

About This Drug.

They Said It Worked For Some Katrina Victims.

What Kind Of Drug?

||it Makes You Forget What Happened. Is It Real?

Uh, I've Never Heard Of It.

What I Went Through, I Know, Wasn't That Bad.

But John's... Away On Business A Lot, And...

I'm... i'm Just Afraid I'll Never Get Another Good Night's Sleep.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Uh, I'll Look Into It.

Please.

And Don't Tell John.

I Don't Want Him Thinking He Can Never Leave Me Alone Again.

Gonorrhea... that's The Good S.T.D., Right?

You Just Give Me Some Pills, And It's Gone?

No, I Need To Do A Full Pelvic Exam.

But... There's No Buts.

I Won't Know If It's Gonorrhea Until I Check You Out.

And I Also Need To Rule Out Chlamydia.

Besides...

If You're Engaging In Sex...

You Need To Be Getting Regular Checkups.

That's The Responsible Way To Behave.

Although I Don't Expect You To Be Responsible At 13, Maya.