Alpha Males (Machos alfa)

What does it mean to be a woman?

Neo-feminism has sold us the idea

that to empower ourselves, we must adopt masculine traits.

We have to be strong, independent,

cold, competitive.

But why can't we empower ourselves through our femininity?

By being passionate,

empathetic, and intuitive.

How did we end up here?

I have no idea.

…rediscovering and embracing…

My God.

…your feminine energy.

ALPHA MALES

Who's the slob who ran the washer and left their clothes inside? It stinks.

Didn't we agree you were the maid?

I clean the house. You hang your own clothes.

The bathroom's flooded.

-At least mop it up, assholes. -Luis!

I can't deal with everything. I'm getting a divorce!

I haven't sat down all day.

We can't all stay here.

This is a love shack, not a hostel. Someone has to go.

Totally. I nominate Santi.

-And why not Luis? -He cleans.

-You have a house. Kick Blanca out. -Kick Marimar out.

-You leave. You took the big bed. -I don't fit in the small ones.

Then coordinate with Luis so your kid-free week doesn't coincide.

Then we'd never see each other.

Why are we crammed in here while they're at our houses?

-They're feminists when it suits them. -This is getting really hard for me.

-Mopping or getting divorced? -Sitting down already?

Why not do the ten bodies thing?

He wouldn't make it past the first one. He'd fall in love.

Hey, I'm not all that nice, you know?

I can be a player too.

Shit, Marimar!

Maybe I should open a Tinder.

Sorry I'm late. We're very busy at the seminary. How are you?

Waiting for this nightmare to end.

Here. It's signed.

Thanks for not coming between me and God.

Stop it, Raúl. I'm Catholic, not stupid.

You can't join the seminary until after the annulment.

Even if you could, first-year seminarians don't wear a cassock. Asshole.

I bought it to reaffirm my vocation.

Stop lying. You weren't blessed with the gift of faith.

Yeah, that's true. But you won't move out.

I have nowhere to go.

-I quit my job for you. -But it's my house.

After all I've done for this marriage, and how much I’ve loved you.

I've loved you too.

-It didn't work. It's nobody's fault. -Nobody's…

Raúl, you can't love.

I've had beautiful, strong feelings for you.

Love isn't a feeling. It's an action. What have you done for me?

You only care about yourself. You're a fucking psychopath.

You should be in jail.

Blanca? We need to talk.

Hello?

-Blanca! -What?

You have to leave. This is my house too.

More mine than yours. I'm paying for it.

So start packing your bags and…

-Fuck. -Hello.

Hans.

Santi.

What were you saying?

Can we talk for a moment, please?

Nice to meet you, my friend.

Who's that? Body number 184?

My boyfriend. He left his wife in Düsseldorf to come live with me.

In this house?

-Well, I'm not going to Düsseldorf. -I live here too!

Don't you think it's sad to stay here

while I rebuild my life with another man?

Patricia, how are you?

-Good morning, sir. -Where can I put the dirty laundry?

Seriously?

My washing machine's not working.

If that's an excuse to control me, it's a bit pathetic.

I don't care what you do. If you were the love of my life…

But you're not.

Wow, that really stung.

Bet you'll get a girlfriend in less than a month.

Female intuition?

No. Men don't know how to be alone.

We don't know what pain is or how to be alone.

Thank God we live in a patriarchy. Otherwise, we'd be extinct by now.

Where are you going with that?

It's International Women's Day. We have to protest.

What more do you want?

A woman is not a costume!

Our body, our choice!

IT'S NOT A CELEBRATION IT'S A FIGHT

Okay, they've seen you. Can we go to a bar?

-Let's get some piscos. -Yeah.

Wait a while, damn it.

For all the women who fought before you so you could have a voice.

Cut the crap. You're just here for show.

Yeah, I need to fix my rep. Take a picture of me.

-Okay. -Here.

Daniela.

-Hello. -Hi.

Iñaki Castejón.

You look familiar, but I couldn't tell.

Yeah, from Congress. He's the spokesman for Of Course We Can.

Yeah, of course.

-So, can we or can't we? -It looks like we can.

-Nice to meet you. -Likewise.

I voted for you before you started talking crap.

-Not anymore. -I hope we can regain your trust.

I doubt it. I'm here for my friend.

How about a photo?

-Yeah, sure. -Yeah?

Alone and drunk, I want to make it home!

-Give me your number. I'll send it to you. -Sure.

You're one of those allies, right?

I didn't take you for a radical feminist.

I wouldn't say radical.

Then your protest is further down.

There's more than one?

This is the radical one.

That's the liberal one. And those are the ecofeminists.

No fucking way! Do we have to go to all of them?

Great.

I don't get it. They're trashing me again.

-The usual sexist pigs? -Women.

They're calling me a TERF. And the TERFs are calling me queer.

-You should've stayed home. -She'd be roasted for missing it.

What about you? Any gossip?

Nothing serious. I just wanna have fun.

No more drama.

I joined Tinder, but I can't be bothered.

I was so happy in my shitty marriage.

Life's short. How many hookups do you think you have left?

How am I gonna hook up with these guys?

Look. You'll see.

Horrible. Tragic.

Pathetic.

-Repulsive. -Fidel's cute. Like.

-No! What are you doing? -It's a match!

-How do I undo this? -Don't undo it. Text him something.

He should take the lead.

It's Women's Day. Empower yourself a little.

"Hi. How are you?"

Very original.

"Very well. And you?" What about him?

-I see chemistry here. -This is so depressing.

-It's more fun to flirt in person. -That doesn't happen anymore.

Look at that guy with the book. He's cute.

Yeah. And he reads. So what?

Where are you going, silly?

-Did you give him my number? -Hell no. I gave him mine.

I bet he'll call.

If I did that, he'd think I was offering to be his maid.

They're saying I'm transphobic. Why? Because I did this?

People have done this forever.

-This random print also suits you. -Random? It's a bit baggy.

-It's oversized. -You look kinda pathetic from here.

Want to know what you look like?

Weren't you going back home?

Blanca brought her boyfriend.

-Hans from Düsseldorf. -You're letting her stay with a foreigner?

I can't live with them. I have some dignity.

What would she do?

IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY IT'S YOUR FAULT

You're a divorced man now?

She signed the agreement. We just have to ratify it in court.

You don't seem very happy.

-Marimar said some very nasty things. -What did you expect?

She said I'm a fucking psychopath and should be in jail.

And that I only love myself.

She nailed it.

What if she's right? What if I'm not capable of loving?

You loved Luz.

And he cheated on her.

But he was in love.

Love isn't a feeling. It's an action. What have I done for Luz?

Well…

You love us.

You've never betrayed us or lied to us.

You make a lot of plans for us. Sometimes kind of weird ones, but…

Maybe I can't love women.

Raúl, you're a misogynist.

You only think about fucking them. You're obsessed with that.

Not having sex is not that bad. Trust me.

Well, it's time to detox, man.

Emotional responsibility.

I love women, but I can't interact with them.

And we hereby officially declare your deconstruction a failure.

Where are you going?

We're meeting our matches.

-Weren't we celebrating my divorce? -We'll do something tomorrow.

You and I can celebrate, right?

I'm gonna get my house back.

Bastards.

-Luz? -What are you doing?

I'm not looking for anything serious. I know how the story goes.

I don't even know what I'm doing here, actually.