The Tank Battalion (Tankový prapor)

Love is just like money.

Some have too much, others don't have enough.

Love is just like money.

BASED ON THE NOVEL BY JOSEF ŠKVORECKÝ

Some have too much, others don't have enough.

A kinda love that's worse than curse

more painful than an empty purse.

And no matter how much you pine.

Only time will make you fine.

No matter how much you pine.

Only time will make you fine.

Cause time will ease all pain and blues

make people pay their overdues.

Goddammit, men, you screwed up alright again.

Seems you don't appreciate you can only play the soldiers.

Wait till we have a real war on.

You'll be sorry you thought it was too tough to dig a proper tank trench.

If there was a war on, we'd be pissing with fright.

And who could blame us

if you plan a tank crew would survive only four minutes.

But maybe they won't have any war. Or maybe they will.

Anyway, who cares. I'll be demobbed soon.

Růžička! Proceed with check of red alert readiness!

As ordered!

- Malina! - Here!

And you make out a report, Pinkas.

Objective fulfilled as ordered, the usual bit.

Hospodin!

Don't be too soft on them.

I'll get a shuteye.

Been on night duty twice this week and now this.

- Wake me up at five. - As ordered, comrade captain.

Holený! Go and give a hand to Sergeant Smiřický.

He's got only four men, the fifth's down with clap. On the double!

And don't forget to wake me up at a quarter to five. Now get a move on!

Comrade sergeant!

Hospodin sends me to help you with the digging, but...

The cunt thinks we're gonna bust our gut just to make him look pretty.

What do you say, Danny?

- Isn't it a regulation tank trench? - Right on!

I always knew the sonovabitch was here.

I've charged this goddamn hill at least five hundred times.

Who the hell he thinks he's gonna fuck around with?

Maybe I should've my picture taken soon.

The village photographer has got a tank helmet in the studio.

Lisette might kinda like me in a helmet. She would make fun of me. As usual.

- Lisette. - You'd better leave, Danny.

Don't send me away, Lisette.

Go. You'd only start pawing me and I don't want you to.

No, I won't. I swear I won't.

I don't care for such things.

Lisette, you goddamn unrelenting bitch.

What's so great about it, anyway?

It's always the same no matter who you do it to.

You can have that with any girl, can't you?

And didn't you say yourself what was important was the soul?

- And what if I kill myself? - Who, you? Come on!

As soon as she sees you, she sends you away.

- Hey, Danny? - She'll go to someone else.

I'm sorry, Lisette. I can't help it.

The minute I get close to you it's like I was acting on an order.

Halt!

On your feet!

- Your activity, comrade captain? - Checking on my battalion's red alert.

What about the boots?

That's right, boots. Ordinary issue boots.

What the hell you think you're doing? Is this your idea of military training?

Do you know training is your

peacetime combat objective for the country's defense?

- You'll report to the division CO! - Comrade major...

- Shut up! You should be ashamed! - As ordered!

Dismissed!

If it happened in combat situation, I'd have you court-martialed!

Yes, comrade major.

What the hell is this?

Is this your idea of a red alert?

On your feet!

Where are company COs? Where's the artillery barrage?

Holed up in here like a pair of faggots!

Git up!

Fuck!

Git up!

Git up! The Little Devil is fucking around!

- What is it? - Josef, got the link established?

- What? - Got your radio connection established?

Established fuck all. The damn thing's all fucked up.

If you get no connection, watch what the CO is doing.

Oh Shit! Fuck them all!

Little Devil is around!

Bet all the brass hats are pissing in their pants.

Tank commander, report here!

Comrade major, Sergeant Soudek reporting at your order.

What's this, Sergeant? As you were!

Is this how you dismount a tank? What's this?

Get a move on! Quick! On your feet! What the hell are you doing? Come on!

I've never seen anything this awful in my life.

Is this how a tank commander is supposed to dismount?

Comrade major, Sergeant Soudek reporting at your order!

That's terrible, Sergeant. As you were. Dismount!

Who the hell taught you this?

Comrade major, Sergeant Soudek reporting at your order!

Come on, Soudek, get a move on!

Like a weasel!

Sergeant? Whose masking job is this? Get a move on, Sergeant!

Dismount!

They were helpless and defenseless.

Leather-coated Communist henchmen with guns in their pockets

were raiding villages, terrorizing the population.

Those pigs! Where have we got to? Tell me, Daniel!

Was this why we worked our ass off? Prostitutes, that's what we are!

But just wait when it blows up!

I'll personally string up any commie who comes my way!

And I know who is who, Daniel. I do.

Because I collect the dues in our party cell

an no one will be able to deny his membership.

Tank commander, report here!

Now are you coming or not?

Comrade major, Sergeant Smiřický reporting at your order!

Well, comrades, this is what I call a well-trenched tank.

The very first in your battalion, comrade captain.

Comrade sergeant, you get an honorable citation.

Let your tank trench be an example to other trenches. I mean comrades.

- I serve the people! - Dismissed!

What a fucking scream!

Such a cheap trick! To use an old tank trench!

If it was in frontline situation, I'd have you shot on the spot!

You'd piss in your pants first!

Did you get your link established?

- The radio's out. - Out, out!

Why don't you admit you don't know how to operate it!

- I swear, it's dead. - Stop this bullshit!

Think you can be cocky when you're about to be demobbed?

I can make you stay longer, you know.

You will spend an extra year here establishing connection!

Driver, forward!

Look where you are! You gotta keep abreast! Ever heard of a combat line?

I'll get you off your lazy asses!

Other crews had shallow trenches and rode right out.

Cut the crap and navigate the driver!

Up yours, asshole!

Hold on, you guys! I'll knock him off!

Which bastard is driving? I'll haul his goddamn ass!

- Is he still on? - Yup.

He'll spend the Sunday in the tank, negotiating obstacles.

And you're gonna train how to navigate him.

- But I am navigating. - Bullshit!

Immediately issue order to destroy enemy's firepower

by OP 2-0-3!

THREE SCHERMAN TANKS

- Driver, stop! - Will you stop, goddammit?

- For Christ's sake, stop! - Screw him!

What about the canon? What kind of dodo you got for a gunner?

Karel, fiddle a bit with the canon to make him happy.

We conquered this hill a hundred times, so what does he want?

PLATOON OF KROMVEL TANKS

Respond by fire! Don't you see the enemy's shelling you?

Goddamit, I'll have your ass!

- Shit! - Andělín, you dumb asshole!

What was this? You call this fire from a stop?

You'd hit fuck all this way! Who ordered this?

- I didn't. - You didn't?

- Why the hell did you fire? - I didn't fire, I fucked up.

I grabbed the controls and it went off by itself.

What kinda democracy is this, everybody shooting off when they feel like it?

Keep cool, he's just pissed his wife will put out to any private.

Why's this stupid driver playing a sitting duck?

In a real war you'd be all dead ten times over!

You stupid asshole!

- Where did you learn to drive? - What can I do with this piece of junk?

Watch your language, comrade!

This piece of fine craftmanship has seen several major Soviet offensives!

You said it.

For God's sake, keep rolling!

You haven't started yet?

Now don't forget the breach.

What kinda mess is this? Don't you have anything to do?

- Tank Commander! - Here!

Your canon bore is a mess! Your crew is just lying around, goofing and smoking.

You're gonna spend the night cleaning this canon bore.

Platoon leader, report to me!

Break it up! Company, direction church, form rank!

Time to get screwed, gents.

- Attention! Comrade major. - Comrades!

What you performed here today was no tank battalion charge but a farce!

It was a mess. It was an utter confusion!

Comrades!

It seems you've learned nothing during your tour of duty.

Seems two years of conscription are not enough.

There are comrades in your midst

who've been here for two and a half years

and one would think a longer training would show better results.

But what do we see, comrades?

Only that some comrades are playing Schweiks.

By goofing, they fail the trust the working

people have in our armed forces.

But we'll make a short process of such comrades, comrades!

Let them not deceive themselves

they can pull wool over the working people's eyes.

Let them not deceive themselves our working people will permit them

undermine everything we have achieved.