Casual

Previously on Casual...

Who's the worst person I look like?

How about an upside-down Mop?

What's wrong with you?

Thought you were happy Mom left.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be happy.

A sexually active woman is a powerful force.

She exudes the scent.

What if I don't have a scent?

You just need to meet another wolf to bring it out.

- Have you talked to Emile? - No.

You don't know what he did?

I just want him to notice me.

This may sound crazy.

This may sound crazy.

Do you want to go out sometime?

- So the guy with the tats... - Jake.

Jake.

Yeah, my boyfriend.

You read my profile, right?

- It said I was open. - Oh, man.

Okay, pick 'em out.

Okay, her, her, and her.

Well, she's got cat glasses,

so right off the bat she's a kill.

Glasses can come off.

No, but cat glasses are a type.

No, but cat glasses are a type.

She probably rides a bike with a little basket.

Ugh, just get a car.

Then what would she brag about?

Now, this girl I think I'd probably marry.

Yeah, but that tramp stamp.

I mean, you could never have sex from behind again.

- Yeah, yeah, you're right. - Yeah.

Probably has Urban Outfitters tapestries

just covering every square inch of her house.

Oh, white people.

You'd think they invented yoga.

- What? - No, it's just... it's Jake.

Just so I'm clear,

he's your boyfriend,

and we're what?

Dating?

If we're doing labels, yeah.

And you can both sleep with whoever you want.

- No questions asked? - We're fluid.

If something's missing, we just go out and get it.

Sometimes together.

- Just you and him and whoever? - Interested?

- Just you and him and whoever? - Interested?

I prefer disappointing one person at a time.

Aw, you didn't disappoint me.

You ready?

- Hi. Um... - Hi.

I thought we were gonna meet there.

- Oh, right. - Yeah.

- Shit, I'm sorry. - Hmm.

- Hey, buddy. - Hey.

- How you doing? - Great.

- Great. - Yeah, really great.

- Sorry to interrupt. - No, it's... it's fine.

- My bad. - Naw, that's not a problem.

So should we do this?

So should we do this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um...

I guess I'll talk to you later.

- Yeah, cool. - Okay.

Later, man.

What up, slut?

Yo, yo.

Still shower nozzling?

We're in a drought.

Well, you can end your dry spell tomorrow night.

What's tomorrow?

My cousin is an intern at Golden Voice,

and she got us invited to a party in the Hills.

No beer pong. No basic bitches.

There's gonna be a DJ and everything.

Like at your bat mitzvah?

Will you talk to me?

Leave her alone, you fucking troll.

It's fine. It's...

- I think I know what happened. - You do?

If your laptop was open,

somebody could have hacked it and turned on the camera.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

Probably the NSA.

- Those fuckers. - Uh-huh.

How are you not freaking out about this?

We're, like, on the Internet.

Who isn't?

Hey, you.

Laura.

Where's that essay you owe me?

Oh, right.

Um, working on it.

Hey, I was thinking of checking out the new show

at the Annenberg later.

Any interest?

I'm interested in reading your essay.

Go on. You're gonna be late for class.

I thought you had a date tonight.

No, that was a daytime thing.

She's with her boyfriend tonight.

It's fine. He knows about me.

- Alex, no. - No?

- You're not doing this. - Well, I am.

This woman is unavailable, physically and emotionally.

But I like her.

Okay, well, find an appropriate woman

to date before you get yourself into trouble.

That's gonna happen regardless.

Bye.

Have fun!

- Cheers. - Cheers. Thank you.

- Cheers. - Cheers. Thank you.

- Chee... ah, there you go. - Yeah.

Mm.

So...

is this a date?

I hope so.

Good, 'cause it feels like a date,

but I haven't been on that many, so...

Do you do the online thing?

Little bit.

Yeah, me too.

Well, it's pretty disappointing, huh?

Last one I went on,

I met a girl, and she kept asking me to high-five her.

I met a girl, and she kept asking me to high-five her.

Oh.

Yeah, drinks would come, high five.

Dinner would come, high five.

Dessert...

- High five. - High five.

- Yeah. - Wow.

I mean, yeah, how can I ever go back?

You'll go back.

Yeah, I'll probably go back.

It's addicting.

The pictures and quippy messages.

The pictures and quippy messages.

You know what?

I have Laura answer mine.

- Really? - Yes. She's very good.

How is she handling everything, by the way?

She's good. Yeah.

Transition's hard, but she's a trouper.

I just can't imagine being exposed like that.

I don't think I could handle it, especially at her age.

Exposed?

It was a GIF. All you could see was side boob.

I mean, there's worse things on American Apparel billboards.

I mean, there's worse things on American Apparel billboards.

Laura, you had intercourse on camera.

Intercourse. That's adorable.

Why wouldn't you come talk to me about this?

I'm fine.

Oh, God, he needs to be suspended... imprisoned.

Nobody is going to jail. Will you please drop it?

I'm not gonna drop it. I'm your mother.

I said drop it, okay?

Just let me handle it.

He committed a crime.

Yeah, well, we checked his laptop and his phone.

- And we didn't find anything. - So?

He probably covered his tracks, you know.

He's a teenager.

They're smart with computers.

They know how to do that.

Emile?

Look, if you'd like a forensic analysis,

I'd be happy to put you in touch with the police.

I know how to call the police.

Ms. Meyers, if we suspended every kid

accused of sending naked pictures or videos,

we'd have no students.

Short of direct evidence or a confession,

there's not much I can do.

There's not much I can do.

There's not much you can do.

It was The Aviator.

Uh, no, he looked good in The Aviator.

No, he started to puff in The Aviator.

It was Blood Diamond, trust me.

Okay, Laura, can you back me up?

When do you think Leonardo DiCaprio

went full Jack Nicholson?

The Departed.

- I tried talking to them... - What are you doing here?

I-I'm parenting.

Hey, you know, can we do something tonight?

Hey, you know, can we do something tonight?

Just the two of us.

Something fun, maybe go to a movie or something.

I've got plans.

O...kay.

What time is that party?