Extras

- Why did you do that? - It's called acting.

- But why did you have to be so rough? - Strange. That's what a bird said to me.

Twenty five years old, absolutely gorgeous!

We did it five times. Nearly wore me out, by the end of it.

Bollocks like a bull dog, I tell you.

Cut! That's it, print that, move to the next one. Mike.

Richard, that's exactly what I was talking about with the smoke!

- I want to go in tighter next. - Did you see that?

- It was brilliant. - You get more money for that?

It's a direction. You get more money.

It's called supplementary performance fee, talk to the production manager.

- Why must I sort everyone's life out? - Here we go.

Talk to him and you'll get a few extra quid. You could do with it.

- These aren't my clothes. - You could have fooled me.

EXTRAS Episode 1.

People, can we gather round please?

This is Goran, the man who's story we're making.

He's the reason we're gathered here to share his story with the world.

A lot of you might be thinking why am I making this movie.

You look at me as one of the most successful comedy actors.

What does it mean? "Along Came Polly" opens to 32 million dollars.

Goes on to gross 170 million world wide.

"Meet the Parents", double that.

But what does the money and the success mean in real terms?

If I find a little orphan child in a war zone

hiding in a burnt out building, his parents murdered,

persecuted for his race, his religion. What am I going to do?

- Pop on "Dodgeball" on DVD? - It's a funny film.

I can put on "Dodgeball" and he's going to laugh for 92 minutes,

escape reality for a while, but what happens when the film finishes?

Back to reality. Still an orphan, still living with fear.

How do I help him? Put on "Dodgeball" again?

Sure he's going to laugh again, he'll see things he didn't the first time.

But this can't go on indefinitely.

At a certain point, after the fifth, sixth, seventh viewing,

he's still laughing, but it's not getting to the root of the problem.

- How do I help him? - Make "Dodgeball 2"?

Make this movie. Make people think. Change attitudes.

So think of that while you're sipping on your frappacino's.

- What are we doing, Mike? - Let's have a break.

Break time, okay. Thank you very much.

Thanks, everyone. Back at quarter past.

I want you to come straight in. There shouldn't be a blade

between when the grenade has gone off and when you guys come around.

Ben, is it possible please, more smoke?

- Was there more smoke? - Yes.

- Can I get more smoke please? - Thank you.

Alright, guys, now while we have the smoke can you come around...

The coke, it's not cold.

- Kill the smoke for a second. What? - My coke is not cold.

Mike? Can we get him a cold coke?

Make sure his coke is always cold.

- He gets anything he wants. - I know, but he's been through a lot.

I know. They're making a film, he's not a competition winner.

- That's where the real power lies. - I think he's quite attractive.

Forget it, never get involved with a man whose wife has been murdered.

- That's awful. Why? - He's not gonna be a barrel of laughs.

And you can't compete with her, it's not like the marriage

started going downhill and she was boozing and sleeping around.

She was taken from him at the peak of their love.

She's gone out on a high, she's like Marilyn Monroe or Jimmy Dean.

Never get involved with a man who's wife's been murdered.

- Choose someone else. - Who then?

It's as easy as that, isn't it to you?

Come in, just one second.

I think I'm owed some money, some supplementary performance money...

Right, give me one second.

- How can I help? - The supplementary acting fee.

I'll have to check with the first A.D. Let me get your details up.

- What's your name? - Maggie Jacobs.

Just take a seat, Maggie.

I hope your wife doesn't catch me on your sofa, or your girlfriend.

- I'm not married. - Or your girlfriend.

- I haven't got a girlfriend. - Or I suppose your boyfriend.

I'm not gay. I should be worried your husband catches you in here.

I'm not married, no boyfriend, I'm not a lesbian, so I'm available.

You get on well with Ben.

Could you have a word with him about me, because I'm a proper actor,

I'm an extra in this, but I've done you know lines.

- You okay? - Yes.

- What you got there? - My wife, pictures of my wife.

- I heard about that, sorry. - Memories, wonderful love.

- This is her, very beautiful. - She is.

Our first holiday. Here she is with my son, one year old.

- Nice boy. - Nice no more. Dead boy.

- My wife again. - I shouldn't look. Is she sunbathing?

- No. She is dead, lying in the street. - I see now.

- Why did you take... - Why did I take photograph of her?

To show the world what must be shown. That's why I want film by Ben Stiller.

- Ben Stiller of "Zoolander", sure. - You look! Dead, naked!

I am, but I'm only looking at her dead naked face.

- Where did you get these developed? - My cousin.

I was going to say it's not the sort of thing you pop into "Boots" with.

It's a chain of chemists, high street pharmacy.

They don't just do pharmacy, now they do everything:

gifts, sandwiches, weight watchers, smoothies...

- We don't have "Boots". - You missed a trick.

"True Print" give you a free film when you get something developed.

Anyway, if you could put a word in to Ben to get me a line...

I'll catch you later.

- He's got photos and everything... - That's not going to help, is it?

No.What worries me is I can't push it, I can't go up to him and remind him:

"sorry to interrupt your thinking about your slaughtered loved ones"

"but that line have you done anything about it?"

- Might seem a wee bit insensitive. - Yeah, it could do.

Be warned, Jackie Greer's on the prowl.

- Why? - She's having a birthday do.

- Forget it, I'm not going. - I'm not going if you're not going.

- Don't go then. - I can't not go.

- She's always really nice to me. - Have an excuse ready.

My standard is: "my sister's coming down to stay."

And find out exactly when it is and go: "When is it?"

"This Saturday". "This Saturday? I can't, my sister's coming down."

You're gutted you'd loved to have gone, but family...

Hello, you two! I like your hair like that. Isn't she beautiful?

Now listen up, no excuses. My birthday is this week,

I'm having birthday drinks I'm twenty one again.

I command you both to be there and I won't take no for an answer.

My sister's...

When is it?

Friday after we wrap, it's only local.

- This Friday? - Yeah, Friday.

I can't do this Friday, my sister is coming down.

Bring her along, I'd love to meet her.

- Okay, I'll bring her along. - You can't bring her along.

Because you haven't got a sister.

You've confused us, my sister's coming down.

- So you can come? - Yes, I can come.

- And you, darling? - As she said, my sister's coming down.

And as I said, bring her along.

But what she didn't say was she's coming down because she's ill.

- Brilliant. - God! Is it serious?

- We're not sure. - Send her my love.

- But I will see you there? - Definitely. I've got no excuses.

See you later.

- Brilliant. - You re coming.

No. I've got to be punished 'cause you didn't think quickly enough?

- I can't go on my own. - I can't go at all.

- What if my sister died? - What's she got?

- I haven't got a sister. - You haven't got a sister?

No, I made it up, an excuse.

Are you reading a little magazine? Do you understand it?

Would you rather have all your food too salty or too sweet?

Doesn't matter if it's too anything it's rubbish.

- I would have too salty. - It would be rubbish.

- But I like savoury things. - "Too" salty means it's horrible.

- I like crisps. - Don't ask me any more questions.

- This is my friend, Andy. - Hi you! Jon.

- What are you doing here? - I'm just having lunch.

- That's what we're doing, aren't we? - Just letting it cool down here a bit.

Just having a bit of lunch before we go back to work.

- Are you having to work late tonight? - Not tonight. I'm going to the drinks.

I don't know if you know it's Jackie Greer's birthday.

I'm already going. Spooky!

- Sure you're welcome to come along. - I can't, I'm doing anything else.

- Do you know Jackie Greer very well? - Not really.

The producer's going. He asked us to go along for team bonding.

- The producer of this? - Martin is going to be there.

- He knows Jackie from years back. - I'll probably might as well come down.

We'll see you later on then for a drink and a bit of a laugh.

That would be great.

I'd better get this down me. Lionel Stark, coq au vin.

- Sounds a bit rude, doesn't it? - Not really.

- What have you gone for? - Three bean salad spinach and celery.

- I'm on a high fibre diet. - No bowel cancer for you then?

Hopefully not.

See you bye, bye!

No bowel cancer for you then? That's very funny.

- You alright? - Yes.

- You're not going to... - No, I'm good.

- I got you a gift. - Why?

Just to say thanks for being part of this amazing project.

And to thank you for the line you said you'd get me, do you remember?

You probably don't remember because you were crying about your dead family,

but you said you'd ask Ben for a line. Are you going to ask Ben for a line?

Yes, I can do that.

I didn't know what to get you, got you vouchers.

Fifteen quids worth.

- It's like money? - It's exactly like money.

But you can only spend it at Top Shop. So you'll ask Ben, yeah?

Brilliant. Fifteen quid. See you later!

Cut! Why is he laughing?

Why are you laughing?

- What's so funny? - I tripped up.

Do you think this is funny? You think war is funny?

Do you think genocide is funny? Are you his mum?

Do you think this would be funny if I shot your mother right now?

If I shot your mummy in the face would that make you laugh?

If I blew your mother's face off, would that make you laugh?

Maybe you should think of that next time you trip.