C.O.G.

(FAINTLY) I said, "You're goddamn right, I'm having this baby.

"I'm having this stinking piece of shit, whether you want to be the daddy or not."

I said, "I'm done fucking around with an old white-faced nigger

"too busy chasing bush pussy to get off his fat ass

"and get himself a job.

"You crawled out of your mammy's old, tattered pussy

"and grabbed hold of those milk-stained titties

"and ain't looked back once.

"So if you don't want this baby, I'll find another son of a bitch

"who won't look at the world through the slit of his shit-blistered,

"faggoty-assed, worm-sized dick."

Are you listenin' to me?

-Yeah. -Good!

'Cause I don't want to be wasting my words on nothing here.

So I said,

"You can suck the cream out of my old granddaddy's cum-stained cock

"before I ever let you see the face of this wrinkly-assed baby.

"And if it looks anything like you,

"I'll have that doctor saw off his fucking head and use it as bait."

Can you believe,

that after all that shit the bastard put me through,

he had the nerve to ask me what I was planning on naming that baby.

Can you believe that?

Motherfucker, you try kicking me, I'll come in there with a coat hanger

and give you something to kick about!

These last five hours...

I never thought I'd meet someone like you here.

Me, too.

Mmm-mmm.

Come on. It's almost my stop.

Okay.

Hey.

-Hey! -Yeah?

You think you're gonna learn something from that book?

Trying to.

I'll tell you something.

You really want to learn the truth, there's only one place to do it.

The Chatham Correctional Institute.

It's the best fucking school in this entire country.

-It taught me everything I know. -I bet it did.

Hell, you could fill a racetrack with every piece of shit ever written,

but you would still learn more right here in this seat, talking to me.

I'm talking about the Lord.

Have you opened your heart up to Jesus?

Look, I'm going to spare you the effort.

I think that religion is meant for people who aren't smart enough

to understand how the world really works.

And are so scared of being small and insignificant

that they need someone to tell them how special and important they really are.

Also, never having personally seen a racetrack full of books,

-I'll take my chances. -Oh, book...

You can go take your imaginary ghost somewhere else.

-The Bible says... -I know what the Bible says.

Well, then what's your problem with it?

It's poorly written.

Hey.

Hey.

So what do you do?

I'm a student.

You look a little old to be in school.

What grade are you in?

You wouldn't understand.

Speed, 50.

Cat in that car.

It's your stop.

(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi. We're not home right now,

so leave a message after the beep, and we'll call you back.

Hey. It's me.

I'm only letting you know I got here as a courtesy.

Mom, please don't try to reach me.

And don't try to say you're sorry.

I'm going off the radar for a while,

and (CHUCKLES) it's going to be amazing.

Maybe you'll hear from me at some point,

but you probably won't.

Is this Mrs. Hobbs?

-She's dead. -Oh.

-Sorry. -She had cancer.

Now Ringo, there, has got the same damn thing.

He's got tumors up his ass the size of Bartlett pears.

Let's see. David, right?

Uh, Samuel, actually.

Oh.

It says you're working together with some girl.

Yeah. Jennifer. She'll be here next week.

Okay. So what are you doing here?

Well, like I said over the phone,

I want a change of pace for a little bit.

Get my hands dirty.

I've got four weeks to rip all these assholes off the branches

before they shrivel.

I'll come by at the end of the day and check your bins.

For each bin, I'll pay you $40.

For every fucked apple in the bin, I'll dock you a dollar.

One bad apple spoils the whole bunch.

You're telling me?

The kids who live around here, they think they're too goddamn good to work.

The only thing left is trash or Mexicans, and I'll take the stupid Mexicans any day.

You speak a little Spanish?

No, I don't.

They didn't teach you that at your college?

No, I studied Japanese.

Huh. What the fuck for?

Yeah, we'll find you a bed in here,

and the amigos make food in the morning and at night on the pit outside.

I'm sure they'll let you in on some of it, if you're nice.

-Pedro! -Sí, Sr. Hobbs.

Pedro, this is Samuel. He's from New York.

Connecticut.

He's come out here to see what it's like on the other side.

I want you to show him the ropes.

Hi.

Soy Samuel.

Pedro de dónde eres.

Oh, I don't speak Spanish.

-(SPEAKING IN SPANISH) -No Español.

-(SPEAKING IN SPANISH) -Okay.

I thought this would be easier.

I figured you just picked them up off the ground when they fell.

Oh, fuck!

-Hey! Sorry.

Good job, guys.

Thank you.

-Salsa? -No, thank you.

So I said to her, I said, "How come you're not coming with me?"

She wanted to take a ride from some guy she just met who was driving to California,

and she said that he only had room for her in his car.

So she forced me to take the bus all by myself.

The bus.

Can you believe that?

Mmm-hmm.

Well, you wouldn't believe it if you knew what I was saying.

Hey!

What the hell you doing?

-Taking a break. -A break?

I was tired.

You're supposed to work, not sit there wasting your time reading crap.

Come here.

I want you to do something for me.

Okay.

I want you to go in town...

And fill up this tank with butane gas.

I need it for my stove.

-Okay, but... -Can you do that?

Yeah, which car should I take?

Good morning. How are you?

I'll go ahead and give that to you, if you don't mind.

Whoops! You forgot it. Oh, no! (CHUCKLES) Oh, no!

-Hey! -Hi.

-That looks heavy. -Yep.

Hey, what's your name?

Sorry, I'm not gonna buy anything from you.

Oh, no, no, no. What I'm selling doesn't cost any money.

-Look at that. -What's a C.O.G.?

-Why don't you try guessing? -I don't really like guessing games.

I don't know. Come on. Just go ahead. Just give it a try.

-Capable of genocide? -Ah, no. (CLICKS TONGUE) No.

Oh, well. If you were one, you'd know.

How's that?

Well, have you let Jesus into your heart?

I'm an atheist.

Oh! If you don't believe in anything, what's there left to believe in?

-That doesn't make any sense. -(LAUGHS)

Well, my name is Jon.

I'll be right here when you're ready to stop talking nonsense.

In the meanwhile, look at that.

-There's my number. -Great.

-You call me if you need anything. -Thank you.

-Do you want another one for the road? -Nope.

You sure? Okay. -Yep.

All right. Here we go. Hey, I like that shirt.

Oh.

Hey, there. You need some help?

-No, I'm good, thank you. -Are you sure?

Yeah. (GRUNTS)

-Not one to ask help, are you? -Nope.

I can tell that.

You're gonna do it all by yourself, aren't you?

Yeah.

-Well, we'll see how far that gets you. -Okay.

Looks like it might get you to the end of the block.

-Yeah, I'm good. Thank you. Yep. -Yeah?

-Okay. I could push it for you. -No, I'm fine, thank you.

Okay.