Wedding Wars

The past four years

it's been my honor to serve as your governor,

and with your support

I will continue to fight for each and every one of you.

Aren't you clapping a little too hard?

I can't help it. That was fantastic.

His speechwriter must be brilliant.

Yeah, he's okay.

If he isn't appreciated here, he can always go work

for one of the other campaigns begging for his services.

It's a free country.

Increase Maine's minimum wage

to keep pace with the cost of living.

In the last four years...

Of course, there are perks to working for the governor.

Yeah, his really hot daughter.

I was thinking of the dental plan, but she's okay too.

- He's so lucky to have her. - Oh, he knows that.

That's why he's been waiting for the perfect time to do this.

I know that we will succeed.

And I want to thank my family

for their love and support... my beautiful wife Claire...

and my wonderful daughter Maggie.

Ben, you're an excellent campaign manager,

and I'm sure you're gonna make an equally fine son-in-law.

Don't worry, Governor. Marriage and politics aren't that different.

The key to success is finding the right candidate.

Yes, except marriage is even better... no term limits.

Oh, this is so exciting!

We can have the ceremony right out here.

Ben and I were thinking of something small and intimate.

It'll have to be.

You can't fit more than 400 guests out here.

Okay, when I say "small"...

You know she always gets her way,

so you might as well give in and save yourself the grief.

- That's true. - Well, okay, then.

An intimate little 400-person backyard wedding it is.

First Saturday in September's perfect for a wedding.

The leaves won't have started to change.

There'll be no showy foliage competing with the bride.

Yes, I'll be the one in white...

or at least ecru.

Your wedding planner's going to have something to say about that.

Do you have someone in mind?

I hadn't even thought of that.

Oh, what about Shel?

- Shel? - Who's Shel?

Ben's brother. Don't you think he would be perfect?

- Your brother is a wedding planner? - More of a party planner.

He was telling me he's always wanted to get into weddings.

Don't you think he'd be great?

Sure, if you want to have fun, but this is a wedding.

I mean a formal wedding.

When I think of Shel, my mind doesn't go to formal.

Mojito time! Who wants?

Over here!

Mustn't go to waste. There are people sober in China.

Whoa! Kids!

Turn that off, Mark.

I hate being on camera. Turn that off.

I said cut! Cut it!

Nope, not, no, no...

I'm cutting you two O-F-F!

Yes, you can have. Open up.

And...done with you.

Hey, Shel.

Ben! What's wrong? Mom and Dad okay?

Yeah, they're okay. Why?

Shel! Mayo!

Hold on a second.

Uh... Garlic, herb, or spicy aioli?

Garlic!

Incoming!

You know I can't catch.

I know. It's just so much fun watching you try.

- Ted, Ben's here. - Ben!

Oh, no! What's wrong?

Can't I visit my brother without there being something wrong?

Yes, but you never have.

Well, I am now.

Look, if you're too busy, I'll just...

We'll talk in a second. Let me flip my burgers.

Turkey, beef, soy, or veggie? - Sure.

Move, move.

- What are you doing? - Get over here.

Hey, there.

Hey.

I live in 203. Dan.

Ben.

So, uh...how do you know Shel and Ted?

I'm Shel's brother.

Oh. Cool.

I'm engaged... to a woman.

Needs some more mustard.

Who was that?

I can't believe it! You and Maggie are getting married!

My God, we love her! You'll have such beautiful children!

- Congratulations, Ben! - Thanks, Ted.

So, anyway,

we're thinking of a September wedding,

and if you're available, I was hoping that...

I would be your best man?

I would love to!

Actually, I was... I was gonna ask Wayne.

Oh.

- I've known him since... - No, no, no.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

No, I shouldn't have assumed. I'm sorry.

So, Ben, what were you going to ask?

Oh, right.

Uh, listen... and feel free to say no...

but Maggie thought... well, we both thought...

that, uh, that you might want to be our wedding planner.

My first wedding! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Mine too.

Okay.

I'm glad he was so excited about it!

Yeah.

Okay, what's wrong?

Nothing.

It's just that, you know,

things are a little awkward between me and Shel.

Growing up, we were inseparable.

Little League, fishing, building forts.

He even followed me all the way to Maine for college.

All the way to Maine from New Hampshire...

what is that, like, a 20-minute trip?

Sorry.

So, what happened?

Nothing happened. We just, uh...

just sort of drifted apart.

I told him I was gay, that's what happened.

Of course it wasn't because he's gay.

I was always fine with that.

He turned white as a sheet and started mumbling something...

"I've got to get to rugby practice."

It hasn't really been the same since.

That's why I never came out to my parents.

You know, I figured if Ben couldn't handle it,

an old-school union guy like my father would finish his beer,

have a final burp, and then keel over dead.

Well, on the upside, this wedding is a great opportunity...

for you and your brother to get close again.

I'm thinking of something tasteful

with just a touch of whimsy.

Oh! I adore whimsy!

Yeah, and mostly we want it to be fun.

Oh, yeah, lots of fun.

You'll get to meet Conrad.

Aren't you meeting with the Fish and Game Commissioner?

That was cancelled. The Coast Guard caught some Norwegians poaching salmon.

Is that illegal now?

Poached salmon makes a terrific entree,

especially with a balsamic reduction.

Mmm! That sounds good!

Dad, this is Shel, Ben's brother.

He is our wedding planner.

- Pleasure to meet you, Sir. - Yeah, you too.

Thanks for taking on this job.

Seeing as how we're gonna be family,

it'll give us a chance to know you better.

We were just gonna take Shel for a tour. Want to join us?

Your Dad's busy.

Sure, sweetie, it sounds like fun.

- Good. - Great.

Fun. Fun.

Please don't say "fabulous."

Fabulous, simply fabulous.

You see that dock and the little lighthouse down there?

Conrad had that built for Maggie on her ninth birthday.

Yes, I did.

Ohh. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

I'd say that our best place for the ceremony

is right here on the patio,

with some guests there and there.

- Sounds good. - Yeah.

No.

No? No?

I'd say it'd be best to hold the ceremony

right down here by the water.

We'll build a nice gazebo right there.

The guests could sort of radiate up the lawn,

improve sightlines, and we won't have to Mike the service.

Shel, maybe the governor doesn't want anyone radiating.

I'd say he's right. No, it'll be better his way.

Great! Now for music.

I say we start out with a string quartet...

something simple, elegant.

Eggshell cotton tablecloths

with centerpieces featuring either

pink tea roses or Oriental lilies.

What do you think, honey?

- It's all good. - Ben.

This is not you getting together

with your buddies for Super Bowl...

in which case, I would go with the lilies.

This is your wedding day. It matters.

Pink tea roses sound nice.

Fine.