NCIS

Cut

What ?

- Rhiannon - What was wrong with that ?

I'm gonna need a real scream

That was a scream

No, no, no, no, An ber-scream okay ?

Think of Halloween II on steroids okay ?

- You want to take a break ? - Yeah

- Should have gone with the blonde - No You know, this is a favor

He should be happy I'm even here

I've screamed in three real movies

I mean, if there's one thing I can do, it's...

Lame

See, now that was a real scream

- Rhiannon ? - Help Help

Help! Help! Gary get me out of here

She was not smiling at you Tony

Ziva, some men can hit a baseball 400 feet,

others build rocket ships that sail to the stars

I can spot a woman's smile at 20 yards

Her name is Hannah, and she's asked me out to lunch twice

You ?

Did your rocket ship just take a nose dive ?

No It just landed on a different planet

Look, two days ago

you told me my car would be ready yesterday, and the bill was $270

Then yesterday

you told me my car would ready today, and the bill was $400

Now you're telling me my car's gonna be ready tomorrow ?

- Absolutely Tomorrow - How much ?

- One octave or two ? - Two

$600 ?

- Okay, I understand, but... - It's got to be replaced

- Tomorrow ? - Yes, sir

Okay then Thank you

My crankshaft is wearing out

There is no question what's going on involves you and a shaft, McSofty

Well, Tony, sometimes it's not always the best policy to be too tough

It can end up costing you more in the long run

I'm guessing that you got more than your fair share of wedgies as a kid

I can be tough when I have to be

- What ? - Nothing

I mean, you do have your strengths

And weaknesses

But, rember that people can be loved as much for their

weaknesses as they are for their strengths

Well, then, DiNozzo, you must be one very well-loved man

Thank you for noticing, boss

Squid Long dead Let's go

Hey, Ziva ?

Did you accept ?

Lunch ? Hannah ?

Coming through

Take it easy, McCranky

You never cease to amaze me, Jethro

You find the most dastardly crimes in the most idyllic of settings

Lieutenant Neal Poletto

Poletto ?

- Get anything ? - Yeah

An offer to be tech advisor on his next film

It's about a psycho, sex-crazed cop

Life and times of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo ?

Cuts all around the upper torso

He's been stabbed multiple times

And he's missing a middle finger

It appears to have been sawn off

The other hand, too, Duck

Anything else you'd care to tell me about this fellow, Jethro ?

Dead 11 years

- And ? - And I know who did it

- Celia Roberts - A looker

No, a hooker

Convicted of killing two sailors

By our very own Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Before our time

Both men had multiple stab wounds

Both men had their middle fingers cut off

Why the middle finger ?

Maybe she was giving them the finger

- Man-hater - You would know, Ziva

She was suspected in the disappearance and murder of Lieutenant Neal Poletto

But since his body was never found

She was only prosecuted for the other two murders

She was sentenced to 175 years in the Maryland State Prison for Women

I hear the first hundred years are the hardest

Well, Abby has confirmed that the knife that killed Lieutenant Poletto

is the same one that Celia Roberts used on her first two victims

Open and shut

Well, DiNozzo, it'd be easier for everyone if we just get her to admit it

- I will get a confession - Why you ?

Because I am a woman

And women open up to other women

You mean, likeHannah and Her Sisters Come on

After 11 years in the joint all ladies

she might welcome a little change of pace

You mean a man

A virile man could be just the thing to loosen her lips

- Oh, you mean Gibbs - I mean me

Not that you're not virile You are, 'cause you're the boss

Who's the boss ?

You don't Those Those don't go in there

McGee Get her signed confession

First thing tomorrow morning Don't come back without it

You got it, boss

What ?

It's just, you got to have the stuff, be tough, know when to bluff

So, I have to be a really bad poet ?

I call my style tough-bluff

- It's hyphenated - Really ?

Blowhard actually seems more appropriate That is not hyphenated

You're going to convince a woman to confess to a crime ?

Yeah So ?

When's the last time you convinced a woman to do anything, McGee ?

Just last week, McGee convinced me to lend him ten dollars

Ten dollars Murder one

My last ten dollars

When you asked me, I was determined to say no

But there was something in the way you asked

Before I knew it I was opening up my wallet

Really ?

There's no doubt in my mind you will get that confession, McGee

Thank you, Ziva

He's toast, isn't he ?

Oh, yes Burnt toast

The following inmates are to report to Facility B

Deborah Hoffman, Leslie Chadwick

Jessica Boswell Kim Baker, Tiffany

Report to Facility B medical line immediately

This way, sir

Morning

I put Celia Roberts in our Attorney Room in back

To give you guys some more privacy

- Great Thanks - Through here

Tim ?

- Brenda Carter - Yeah

I have not seen you since, oh, what, graduation night at FLETC ?

Yeah I remember it well

Oh, those were your shoes that I

Italian shoes

- Jamaican rum - Empty stomach

So, I see you left the federal system

Yeah You know, better pay, closer to home, so

Well, uh, official visit for me I'm here to see Celia Roberts

Oh, well, good luck with that

Celia's a real piece of work

Most of 'em are

So, um, where are you stationed ?

Navy Yard

Well, I'm here Obviously

Well, we should, uh

you know, get together and catch up, have a drink sometime

Sounds great, Sounds great Will you call me ? Or I'll call you

You know, whatever works, right ? So, okay ?

- Okay - Okay

Okay

Bye

Vicari, you flash your boyfriend one more time, you lose visiting privileges

Hello

I'm Special Agent Timothy McGee Thank you for seeing me

Have a choice ?

Two photos Same guy

Lieutenant Neal Poletto

He looks better in this one

Before and after shots

This one is after he was stabbed 23 times

And had both his middle fingers cut off

Looks like he's aged a bit, too

About 11 years

Guess that's why you're here

You killed two other men the same way with the same weapon

Yours

It would be nice for the Poletto family to have some closure

Stop looking at him! Why don't you shut up, Vicari ?

- Settle down now - You want to go ?

Now! Get in! I'm not gonna tell you again

You were convicted in Maryland

Poletto's body was found in Virginia

You know why that's bad for you ?

Death penalty

Virginia is very big on it

Confess, and this stays a federal case,

meaning no conviction until after you've served your current sentence

Meaning never

Otherwise, I hand this to the authorities in Virginia

Way back Way back

I don't like needles

Your choice

I don't believe you

- What is that ? - Damn

Everything okay out there ?

Come on

McGee is out, Abby

Oh, yeah, I know He's slumming at the prison

We were supposed to have lunch

I'm just returning his computer game

Uh, frankly, I do not understand the fascination with, uh, electronic games

It shortens attention span, curbs productivity, and it kills brain cells

Enough with the long sentences

Who can follow all that ?

Take a look at this