Who's Driving Doug

- Can you turn that down a little?

- "Why were you afraid, Lily?" said Jim.

"I was afraid that you would reject me

"like all the others do," said Lily.

Then Lily and Jim hug each other

and never let go.

The end.

Good.

That was good.

Comments.

- I really felt the bond between Lily and Jim.

It was very real.

Thank you.

Good.

Anyone else?

- Basically, the whole story's about society's expectations

on love and how we deal with it and...

Basically, that's it.

That's what I was going for.

Yeah, good, good.

What about you, Doug?

God, that fucking sucked.

The story couldn't have been any more

contrived and just phony.

And what do you know about love, you pretentious moron?

Do all your experiences come from watching sitcoms?

God, it just makes me wanna, like, Ralph!

- Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug! - Doug.

Doug?

Everything was said.

Good.

Now, on that note,

I have a special treat for you folks today:

The final assignment.

We'll pass it around now.

Read it, and I'll answer questions next class.

- I just have a lot of papers to grade.

I just want to see you more.

When will I see you, then?

Um, maybe this weekend.

Okay.

Okay. I'll call you, but...

I have to go, okay?

Okay.

Hey! Stephanie!

Hey, Steph.

Oh, hi, Doug.

Hey, how's your...

What's up?

Thank you.

My fiction seminar was cancelled.

That's too bad.

Hey, I gotta get to class.

I'll roll with you.

Okay. Cool.

- So I just want to let you know

that Wednesday is gonna be my last day.

Wait, you're quitting?

Yeah, sorry about that.

My boyfriend's band got this gig in San Fran,

and I'm driving up there with him on Thursday.

So, yeah.

Doug? Doug.

There you are.

Hi. It's so, God, dark in here.

Did Gretchen even clean your room yet?

I don't know.

Don't get me started on her.

She is not the brightest bulb in the box.

How are you, Mom?

- Well, I've been running around all day.

I mean, the florist called.

He was running late.

And then Gretchen broke another one of my plates

and blames it on the dog.

Right?

I love you, too, Mom.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I'm just a little frazzled.

What's going on with your hair?

It's very dusty in here, okay?

And what's the matter?

You seem... pooped?

Janice quit.

Great.

This is not what I need right now.

Oh, I have to get that.

The painter's supposed to be coming,

and, you know, we're...

Gretchen!

Can you please answer the phone?

("Lightness" by Death Cab for Cutie)

Hey, what's up?

How are you doing?

Okay.

I miss you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Slow it down, Turbo.

Jackass.

- Says here you want to be a video game programmer?

Yeah.

That's... different.

Ah, my brother-in-law went to the same high school.

All right.

Go, Humpbacks!

- So, what have you been doing in the meantime?

- I've been pursuing my associate's degree.

For five years.

Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you...

Scott.

Scott.

Your academic record is,

well, it's less than stellar.

What?

What about my SAT scores?

Yes.

They're quite good.

But that was high school.

- Alright, I admit it, I've had a rough couple of years.

But I'm ready to buckle down, you know?

"Seize the moment."

You guys got, like, financial aid, right?

Like... pretty lucrative for your students, huh?

I really don't think

that this would be the right school for you,

but I can offer you some brochures

to some less discriminating universities

that would be perfectly suited for someone like you.

You know what?

Fuck this.

Hey.

Hey, you're looking for a new driver, right?

Uh, yeah.

You're Doug?

I'm Scott.

Scott Lane.

Hi.

So how many times a week?

Four times a week.

And what, like, nine to...

Who's this?

I'm Scott.

I can start as early as tomorrow.

- Well, if your driving record checks out.

Great. I'll call you.

Sorry.

I don't like him.

Mom!

Sorry I was late, man.

Being on time's not...

It's not really my thing.

So, what's your major?

Theatre.

Cool.

Sounds like fun.

Uh-huh.

Be the next Judy Garland, huh?

You know, I was in a play once

in high school, and they made us dance the Charleston.

It's like the stupidest dance ever.

You ever had to dance the Charleston?

You want the radio on?

No.

What are you staring at?

I'm thinking.

Watch the road, please.

Damn.

Where are you from?

Vegas.

Really?

My dad was gonna take me,

but he didn't get the chance.

Is it cool?

Yeah.