Krapopolis

Did you see this?

Jason and the argonauts are heading this way.

Looks like they want to fight an army

Of hairless, grinning women.

Those are skeletons.

- Why would you fight a skeleton?

Seems like punching down.

- But you'd fight an army of hairless, grinning women?

If they started it.

Did you see them? They look pretty menacing.

- They look menacing because they're skeletons, darling.

I don't know.

When I see a skeleton, I don't think, oh, here comes trouble.

I think, there goes someone that got into trouble

Several years ago.

- The argonauts' battles are always pretty epic.

- Yeah. I'm on the edge of my seat.

A fight with a skeleton.

How do you know when you're finished?

- Wait--they'll have to stop here for supplies.

- They won't stop here, they'll stop in supplesia.

The supplesians practically invented supplies.

- Yes, but they also bragged about it,

So poseidon turned them all into supplies,

And they had to use themselves to death.

- Which makes krapopolis a must-stop for the argonauts.

- But does that put us in danger?

It's not like we're mankind's greatest threat,

Its own skeleton.

- Guys, homer travels with the argonauts.

What's homer?

Everywhere the argonauts go

Gets referenced in a homer poem.

If we could get a favorable mention,

I mean, preferably involving something touristy

Like our delicious kebabs.

- Everyone knows our kebabs suck.

- Sounds like we have world-famous kebabs.

Work with me here, stupendous.

- Ah! - It's just a message orb.

Ignore it. - A message orb?

Ah, what the--

- Yes, it zaps you until you answer.

It zapped me!

It'll make the rounds.

Ignore it, I said. This is family time.

- Ow. Can you answer it already?

- Nobody answers on the second zap.

I don't want to seem desperate.

Ow. Why me twice?

You showed weakness.

Oh, fine.

- Deliria, I hope this finds you well.

I'm hosting a very special, very exclusive retreat

On my private island, and I'd love you to be there.

Oh, mama likey.

But you simply must bring

Your little mortal king, tedious.

What? Mama confusey.

Does hestia know you?

Oh, yeah, clearly.

We're on a wrong name basis.

- It's the pinkish blue paradisey thing

At the center of the three realms.

If you see a pyramid, you've gone too far.

Don't go, ty.

This island sounds like a kill box

Where gods hunt man for sport.

- That's a thing? - Oh, don't be silly.

We're gods.

The entire world is our kill box.

Still, if it's all the same,

I'll stay here and tend to the argonauts.

Nice try.

A hestia invite never happens, and she said I must bring you.

- She called me tedious. - She ain't wrong.

Now, are you going to keep pouting like a baby,

Or are you going to grow up and let me carry you to a party?

- All right, but the rest of you

Have to get this place decent for jason and the argonauts.

- Decent? - What's that supposed to mean?

- Well, you know, these people are better than we are.

- What? - Excuse me.

- If you've got the energy to be offended by that,

You've got the energy to clean up the dock.

Get rid of the fish smell.

I don't want any more pushback, I'm your king.

Make sure the argonauts have a good time.

Have fun at your kill box.

It's not a kill box.

Hestia's private island.

There are olympians who would kill to be here.

- I haven't been to a lot of parties,

But this one seems weak.

- Well, it only goes to show how little you understand

The--wait a minute. Broseidon's here.

- Babe, are you being serious right now?

Just pick something.

- Well I'm not sure what I want.

Come on.

Are you trying to embarrass me?

Either the hestia cachet

Or my memory seems to have slipped.

What do you say? Ten minutes? Five?

Just show our faces to hestia and then bolt?

- Greetings, mortal and immortal pairs.

My beloved humanus and I welcome you to a weekend

You will never forget.

A weekend that will leave you changed and renewed.

If my fellow gods and goddesses will hold your hands

Over the nearest open flame,

You will experience something profound.

- I was gonna do that anyway.

Whoa! Whoa!

Is that, like, pain?

Indeed it is.

The pollen of the brotos flower, unique to this island,

Has the rather extraordinary property

Of canceling out our godly powers.

You've been breathing it in since you arrived.

You've been spiking the air?

Now, now. Don't panic.

It's good for you.

Cleansing. Therapeutic.

An opportunity to free yourself from the prison of eternity,

And to achieve levels of intimacy and understanding

Never imagined possible.

- I already understand everything.

I don't need to understand him.

- Well, you can try to leave if you like.

- Here on vitalis, gods and humans are equal.

- What? - What?

- Ugh. Then we leave by boat.

You know how to build a boat, don't you?

- Actually, I'm suddenly very interested

In staying the whole weekend.

And no, about the boat.

- I can't believe our brother said these people

Are better than us.

We're gonna show them a good time.

We don't have to clean. - Right?

Like we're gonna make such a bad impression.

Totally ridiculous. Ty needs to relax.

Greetings, good people of--

Oh, my god. The smell.

What is that?

- Oh, come on. It's not that bad.

Not that bad?

All right, argonauts, back on the boat.

- Wait, what? - No!

Hold on just a second.

- How dare you touch our rigging.

- Rigging? This is a mooring line.

- We call all the ropes rigging.

What are you? The boat word police?

Give me. - Stay for our famous kebab.

- You do not give me orders, you bi--

Um...

- Well, they're all dead, so at least

There certainly can't be a story about it.

Is that homer?

- Hey, where are those argonauts?

Did they run ahead?

Yes.

Running away?

You're that unwilling to give this equality thing a chance?

- Not everything deserves a chance, tyrannis.

In fact, most things don't.

You realize what this is?

Hestia just finally lost her weirdly famous virginity,

And now she thinks she and her mortal boyfriend invented sex.

Ugh.

I can see you're upset.

- Oh, of course, you're loving this.

Seeing me powerless is your dream come true.

- I did feel that for a rather wonderful moment,

But I actually think this could be a good thing.

A whole new way for gods

And mortals to relate to each other.

- We already have a way that's worked for thousands of years.

It's called worship.

- Well, I think doing this is going to be good for you.

And whether or not you agree with me,

It is what you're going to be doing.

I don't suppose there's any chance

You'll make even the tiniest effort this weekend?

Don't hold your breath.

- Well, don't you hold your breath, either,

Because you'll die.

You really are tedious.

Why do you have to do that?

Why do you always have to have the last word?

- Ask me that 1,000 years after your death.

- I can't believe some of them are actually

Participating in this charade.

Imprisoned, violated, and what?

Just playing along?

- Maybe they don't feel violated, mom.

Maybe they find it therapeutical, as advertised.

- Oh, this-- what did you call it?