Lilyhammer

Things will never be the same without him, huh?

No.

Our people, uh...

I know they don't get along that good.

They'll be okay.

Uh, Frankie. I know you don't like me because the commission passed you over.

You being my brother's underboss,

you think you should have been the next in line. I understand that.

As a matter of fact,

I like you, Aldo.

You're just not qualified to be a boss.

You're a bean counter.

You belong on Wall Street, not with us.

What are you trying to say?

Everything's money with you, Aldo.

You got no respect for our thing.

You got no soul.

That's why your brother, Sally Boy, rest in peace,

never gave you more than his taxes to do every year.

Yeah?

Well, I'm the boss now.

And you better make sure your people keep in line.

Don't worry about my people.

But you better worry about yours.

Yeah.

Hey, boss.

Jimmy, what do you hear, what do you say?

Couple of those FBI guys were in here.

They left a card.

- Oh, yeah? - Golf buddies of yours?

They're trying to convince me my life's in danger.

You?

You're the only guy I know whose life isn't in danger.

And everybody I know, everybody loves Frankie the Fixer.

Eh, tell me about it.

I'm gonna give you the cocksucker,

but I got some demands.

For starters,

I don't want to relocate in the US.

It ain't safe around here no more.

Then what are you thinking? Sun bed in the Bahamas?

Nah.

Melanoma's for the old-school wiseguys.

I'm thinking Lilyhammer.

Lily what?

I think it's in Sweden.

Close enough.

Why the fuck would you want to go there?

Didn't you see the Olympics in '94?

It was beautiful.

Clean air, fresh white snow, gorgeous broads,

and best of all, nobody but nobody's gonna be looking for me there.

Listen, you give us Aldo Delucci,

and we'll send you to the goddamn North Pole.

You got a deal.

Just minutes ago, the district attorney's prime witness,

former underboss Frank "The Fixer" Tagliano,

gave a shattering testimony against his boss, Aldo Delucci.

Inside sources say Tagliano is the last person

anyone would have expected to testify.

Now, sports with Mike Mitchell...

Look, here's the file to your new identity,

and the address to your new house.

We had to give you a backstory with a Norwegian father.

From now on, you're Giovanni Henriksen.

You're a restaurant owner with no criminal record.

Hangrinsen?

You couldn't find a more complicated name?

If you get into any, and I mean any trouble with the police,

you are on your own.

Don't worry about a thing.

I'm a brand-new guy over here.

Yeah, right.

[woman speaking Norwegian on headphones] Hello.

How are you?

I am fine.

How about you?

Hi.

My name is Kari.

What is your name?

Chapter Nine: Shopping.

Sorry, we are sold out of bread.

That's okay...

- -

Not so good-looking?

She was at least 30 years old.

- Could you please turn it down? - Like this?

- Please, turn it off. - Jerk!

- Hey. - Give me my cap back.

Give me my cap back.

Do I have your attention?

Just nod.

Yeah. This is what happens next:

You're gonna go out there, you're gonna give the man his hat back,

and you're gonna shut that shit off. Yes?

- Yes. - Here's your fucking hanky.

Go do the right thing.

- Turn the music off. -

Sorry.

- Okay? - Okay

Thanks.

- - Shut up.

So, straight to the asylum reception center, I take it?

Excuse me?

Oh, you don't speak Norwegian?

Uh... Just a little bit.

I just thought you looked a little Arab.

You look a little Arabish in the face.

Well, I'm an American.

An American? What the hell are you doing in Lillehammer?

Tell you the truth, I fell in love with your Olympics.

Ah, those were the days. I wasn't sober until February, 1995.

I wasn't sober until one year after.

Okay.

Here we are.

- That place? - Yep.

So, that'll be 273 kroner.

Are you sure that's the house?

Yes, sir. This is it.

Here you go. Keep the change, all right?

Shit, thanks a lot.

Welcome to Lillehammer.

This one's for you, Lily.

What makes a person seek solitude

and a strange religion?

The answer can be found in...

- -

...and again there has been an unwanted guest in the Lillehammer area.

The wolf was sighted yesterday...

How are you?

How are you?

What the fuck...

- There it is! - Excuse me?

It is my sheep head. It must have fallen out of the bag.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Oh, the sheep head, it's my dinner.

- Oh. You're gonna eat this? - Oh, yeah. It's very good.

- Yum! Yum! -

Well, for a minute there,

I thought I was going to have to give Johnny Fontane a movie part.

Okay. You must be the new neighbor.

- Uh... - Yeah.

- Laila Hovland. - Hi. Giovanni Hankrensen.

Hankrensen? Is that Indian or...

No, it's Henriksen.

My father was Norwegian.

He was Norwegian.

So you understand Norwegian?

- - Call me Johnny.

- Johnny. - Oh, you're in the postal service, huh?

Oh, no. I'm, um, the... lensmann.

I'm chief of police.

So, you'll sleep safely here.

- Oh... - See you around!

See you, Johnny!

Okay...

What the fuck?

Fuckin' amateurs.

How are you doing?

- Giovanni Henriksen? - Yes.

So...

You lived in New York all your life?

That's right.

I was there once, you know. The Big Apple.

- That's good. - Yeah.

And you have some background from the restaurant business?

Yeah.

There are not many jobs available now.

There's not very much here... A delivery job at Dolly Dimple's.

Pizza delivery.

I had a very successful bar in New York, you know.

So I know all about it.

I just need you to make a few moves so I can get a local license, that's all.

We need to have a reality check.

We have to have some reality check here, you know?

To start a bar is a very complicated process.

Oh.

Oh, complications. That's what you call it here?

Same thing where I come from.

I brought a little something for that purpose.

Take care of whoever you gotta take care of.

Excuse me, but are you attempting to bribe a public official?

No. It's just so everybody can wet their beak a little bit.

- Do you want me to call the police? - What?

Should I pick up the phone and call the police?

Easy, take it easy.

All right, maybe you do things differently here.

- Yeah. - I apologize.

Okay.

Maybe we should put this on the account for cultural differences?

Cultural differences.

I think we'll start by enrolling you on a job-seeker course.

Starts Friday.

You turn up there with a slightly more humble attitude, and we'll start afresh.

- Blank sheets, okay? - Okay, okay, blank sheets.