Maria, He Doesn't Like It (Maria, ihm schmeckt's nicht!)

Nice here, right? This is where you want to spent your holidays, right?

Please, go ahead! I ,however,am done with Campobello.

I want to go home. Right away.

The shit is over my head right now.

Even though this is the best day of my life

In two minutes I should on be an Italian wedding.

As the groom

Sara, now calm down. I'm sure... Toni just do something.

You racist, envious, old cow!

This is Sara. My girlfriend, Fiancée, well more ex-fiancée

or almost ex-wife. Anyway, she is half-Italian.

For their Italian relatives she is half German.

And this is her father. Antonio.

Before he came into my life, the world was still in order.

The first time I saw Antonio in Krefeld at the nether-rhine

Sara never introduced me to her parents Always there was an excuse.

No, my dad is so sweet. Just a bit special. Well, sometimes.

And where is the problem?

If he feels well he is talking without and end. That's mostly the case

Acutally I planed to introduce you to him after the wedding

Well then we would have to hurry because we have 30 minutes left

He would be grumpy because you didn't ask for my hand in marriage. He is old-fashioned

Then I would have to ask you - Wait? You would marry me?

Oh, was that a request now?

from whom?

Would you marry me? Yes, I also would marry you.

And if he would cut my little finger of like it's old italian tradition?

And then send it to my Parents in a letter forcing them to give him money?

Everything will be fine. Come!

Mama! -Hello. Here we are.

Is that him? - Yes, thats's him.

Well, then come in. - Okay.

Yes, just go through!

Ah, hello.

We are here.

You must be Sara's father.

I already have heard a lot about you. - So, you have. What did you hear?

Well, that you are nice

No, I'm actually very nice. - Okay.

Very nice.

Where have you been, you little rogue? -Well, much traffic on the highway.

But we did it in 5 hours. That's good for a friday

And this is your boyfriend? -Yes, that's him.

Marcipane, Antonio.

Jan

Yes, they are a little bit

Oh, no. But I have flowers. -For me?

For both of you, so to speak. For getting to know. Get-to-know-flowers

That's very nice. They are quite warm.

Yes, sit down. Just do. My parents are not so conventional.

I've noticed that.

We want to tell you something.

Yes. Yes, we... we wanted to ask, whether it's what you might,

that I your daughter. So, Sara.

We want to, I want to marry her.

If that is possible?

You want to marry? -Yes, Babbo.

This one? -Yes, him. And no one else.

Ursula, he wants to take my Schnucke! -If the two want. He is nice.

Why do you want to have her?

I thought before I get no one then...

You are funny, hm?

So? How do you like them? - Well, your father hates me.

Rubbish! You can sleep here. No Body was ever allowed to do that

Is the heating on? - Babbo!

The combination of heating an fresh air is the best for a good sleep!

Buonanotte, Babbo! - Buonanotte, Schnucke.

Are you talking about me?

He wants to meet your parents - That's not a problem.

You will like them, Babbo.

Yes, he have been there some times. - So often?

In contrast to Antonio my parents where thrilled by our weddingplans.

The live in Düsseldorf. Kilometerwise that's not far from the Marcipanes

but seen from mentality it's lightyears away.

How do I look? Do I look good?

Buongiorno! - Hello.

My name is Marcipane, my lady. - Pleasant. Armbruster.

Happy to know you. Pleasant. - My daughter, Sara.

We know her. - Ah.

Your son, Jan. Your mother, your father.

Venire. Grazie. Venire. - Come in!

Nice that we are all gathered here. You think it's nice? Why?

You can finally get to meet eachother - Why? I already know you.

You are a real philosoph. - Yes.

I feel something inside me like a philosophic impuls.

Do you know Machiavelli? - Of course.

Did you know that Machiavelli and Freud were best friends?

With Freud? - Yes, they shared everything.

The appartment, the friends, food and also the women.

I don't want to sound extra smart or start a fight

but Machiavelli lived in 16th and Freud in the 19th Century. - Eberhard, please.

My husband is psychology professor. He lives in his own century.

Please have a seat! My Gnocci will get cold.

They couldn't have know eachother

Buon appetito!

Could be. But Freud copied everything from Machiavelli.

I think we can leave it like this.

Your logic seems a little italian to me lately.

Yes, your son has quite some taste for Italians at the moment.

He even wants to marry one.

In Campobello.

What, Campobello? - It's the most beautiful city in Italy

Oh, I will invite you all to the wedding, with professore!

In Campobello the people are nice and the sun is shining.

I did some phone calls. My mother speaks with Don Alfredo.

Who is Don Alfredo? - The priest. He even speaks german!

I thought we would rather do a civil wedding

Impossibile in Campobello! That is a question of respect, of tradition.

I will bring all Italians to the church. - I am not an Italian!

Oh, capito. Do it without me. I don't care at all.

Wait a second. That would actually be quite a nice idea,

all festive in the church. You in a tuxedo, me in a white dress,

we dance Pizzica, and my grand parents would be there

I think a wedding is something private, something between you and me.

Jan, when you marry it's no private thing anymore. I will be your father then.

An Itallian summerwedding sounds wonderful. I love Italy.

Gee, it's so nice we can decide that on our own.

Our first wedding crisis, before the wedding. It was obvious to me:

There was no way out. My publishing house gave me 3 weeks of holidays

14 days of preparation at Saras family, one week of honeymoon on Capri.

The "monster" on the roof was a small souvenir for Antonios nephew Marco.

Sara said it would elevate the friendship

of my future father-in-law, if I would sit in the car with him.

There are just two things that she has no idea about:

Driving the car and Male-friendships.

German drivers have a bad charackter. Always racing, zack, zack!

Italians drive more concentrated, looking right, looking left

Hey, are you happy that you marry in Bella Italia?

The Country of big culture and very fine food?

Yes

If you drive now he will sleep until we arrive. Then you have your peace.

I drive. Then you can rest. - No, no, you can not drive.

The steering is set to me.

The steering was set to you? - Si, si. Motor, wheels and the seats.

Ciao. We are on the way already. - Ciao.

Get out! - Get in. Let's overtake the women!

Don't change the instruments!

Will you close the door?

Slowly! This is not a Ferrari! - Okay.

Why didn't you wake me up? I think we make a driver change?

It's only three kilometers left. - Davero?

Make a bella figura for me.

Campobello is 450 km southeast of Rome.

A small village that slumbers on a mountain and is heavily bored by itself.

That's Egidio, the husband of my aunt Maria. This is her son Marco.

That's my most beloved cousin. And that is my uncle Raffaele.

So he's the brother of my father. And this is Nunzio and his wife Anna.

Did you just say that I'm not normal?

Do I have to show them my teeth or can we shorten this somehow?

Say you are hungry. "Ho fame." - Ho fame.

If, as a german, you dislike something in foreign countrys.

maybe because you have a scorpion or a latino with a gun in your room

or an allergy against seafood

Then this sort of critisism is nothing less then one: typical german.

Nothing destroys a german so much as the accusation of beeing typicaly german.

What's the word for "not hungry"? - Doesn't exist in Italian.

What did she say?

She said: Maria, he doesn't like it.

And why is he crying?

He doesn't like milk, but his mother forced him to drink some.

The photocamera.

What do you have there? - Nothing.

What are you doing there? - Nothing.

Miezecazzo.

You think you can make it here, Gianni? - As far as nobody feeds me in the night

No, I mean the two weeks prior to the wedding? All alone in bed.

Ah, here. He too, with niente milk, latte...

No, he's crying because he can not hang in the kitchen.

In the morning we went to the commune to immediatly prepare the wedding.

Almost immediatly

Antonio! I can't hold it! Antonio!

Are you OK? - Yes, yes, wonderful as you can see

What are they talking about?

What?

It's almost twelve. We wanted to go to the commune to prepare the wedding.

What do you mean, domani? - tomorrow, hm?

Why that?

Jan, the deadline is due until tomorrow. - And if there are complications?

Gianni, you know the difference between Germans and Italians?

Germans always look for problems. Italians already have problems.

They don't need to search anymore and can go to the beach.

For going to the beach 8 1/2 Italians need

Sara only counts half, 18 towels, 9 air matrasses in animal shape,

9 pairs of flippers, swim-glasses and harpoons, 2 baithing pants and bikinis

parts for the aunt. Shovel and bucket, also for the grownups

Beach-tents, Telefonini, water, not carbonated, chairs, a volleyballnet and caps

With that Sunprotection oil without UV-Protection for everyone.

Ah, domani. - Come on, don't be a spoiler.

Are you sick? - I can't swim.

When I was a child I failed swimming course and other children can be realy bad.

Then I decided to never go back in the water for my entire life.

Stupid salad! What do you mean, salad?

The whole family thinks you're nice. But you always make evil eyes!

You know, I understand you very well.

I tell you a little story. You know what was the first word

that I have heard when I first came to Germany?

Attention! Out of the way!

Attention! Out of the way!

If you wanted to work in Germany, it wasn't that easy.

The Germans picked the Italians very carefuly.