Stan Lee's Mighty 7

Stan: Hi, I'm Stan Lee.

But hey, don't hold that against me.

Many people follow me

because of the legendary super heroes I've created.

Others because I owe them money.

Now I won't claim that the story you're about to see

is true, because if I pretend it's fiction

I'll still get paid for writing it.

I'll only say what you're about to see is one amazing tale.

So what's a world famous icon like me

doing out here in the middle of nowhere?

Well, it all started when Archie Comics hired me

to create a new comic for them.

It turned out that they weren't too excited

about my first idea.

And unfortunately, they felt the same way about

my next three as well.

I was out of ideas.

That's why I'm in the desert.

I need to clear my mind, recharge my batteries,

and find a men's room.

Of course I didn't suspect that I'd soon discover

just what I was looking for.

Engage amplaspeed.

Woman: (on computer) Command noted.

Amplaspeed countdown initiated.

I can't believe we're finally headed home.

-- It's been a good mission. -- Good?

We're coming back with five fugitives.

That should earn us at least three cycles of vacation time.

This is intolerable.

So you've stated.

Repeatedly.

Thirty eight times in ninety one point three time quadrants.

My brother's not being a know-it-all.

It's just the way his mind works.

If he wants it to keep working,

he should use it for something helpful.

Like finding a way out of here.

Leave the kid alone.

If you want to get out, I know how to get out.

He's cute. But crazy, right?

Just let him talk.

Go ahead kid.

Tell us.

Every time the ship goes to amplaspeed

the cell's energy beams weaken for 2.6 zydines.

So?

So he can slip through. Watch.

Once he's on the outside he can turn off

the cell's power source.

Why'd you wait so long to tell us?

No one asked.

If protocols are followed, we should be jumping to

amplaspeed any second.

-- Yeah! -- Yeah!

Yuka: Security alert.

Unauthorized entry on level three.

But how could they get...

Yuka!

Secure command bridge! Shut down all access!

Yuka: Request not possible.

Command deck access breached.

Stay where you are.

You're not in charge anymore.

Yuka: Malfunction!

Navigation system damaged!

What is it?

Unidentified bogie, sir.

Entering our orbit on a trajectory 35.03 North,

heading for a crash landing!

Point of impact?

The Mojave. 15 miles from here.

Come on, brain. Get off your keister.

Inspire me.

Hey, a shooting star.

Wow that's nice.

Maybe it's a sign.

Huh?

Huh!

Huh?

Hey!

One's trying to escape. I'm going after him.

Great.

Whoa! Take it easy!

I'm one of the good guys!

Shut up, ancient one.

Let him go.

Drop the weapon or I laser his head right off his neck.

Hey, I know it's a little gray on the outside

but I-I-I still need what's on the inside.

Owww!

This is ridiculous.

Do you really want to be stranded

on this ugly alien planet?

It's a better fate than being brought back to prison!

I don't believe you'd hurt an innocent.

Don't push me.

Wow, you are one fast woman.

And hey, I mean that in a good way.

You put any thought into this, handsome?

What's your plan?

Get rid of him.

Your claws are digging into my back!

Whoa!

You all right?

Hey, that ancient alien's gettin' away!

Bring him to me.

Look, I'm going to be late for my early bird dinner.

We didn't mean to frighten you.

Fear isn't in my vocabulary.

On the other hand, terror is.

My partner and I are star marshals.

These five are fugitives

we were taking back to our home planet Kring when our ship...

Let's just say had technical difficulties.

When Kring picks up our distress beacon

they'll send a rescue craft.

But I have no idea how long that could take.

Smarten up.

There is no point in escaping

when we're all stranded on this barren planet?

He has an indisputable point.

Yuka. Status report.

Yuka: Diagnostics reading.

The ship is destroyed. Nice work.

I don't need the attitude.

Yuka: The only equipment not damaged

is the escape pod.

Everything else is beyond repair

except for the interstellar communicator.

How long 'til the choppers make contact?

: About five minutes.

Oh, boy.

Aliens with superpowers.

And they're stuck on a distant planet.

Hmmm.

What planet are we on?

It's a little place we like to call Earth.

Earth?

I've heard this place is a primitive dung heap.

Actually it's the third planet in the Graphilga solar system

that's part of the Oonaga galaxy.

It has more than six point two billion creatures

they call humans.

So it's a crowded dung heap.

Uh-oh. I hear helicopters.

Our military probably picked up

your ship when it was coming in.

Will they be able to help us?

No, not likely.

They have a reputation for making aliens disappear.

Don't worry, he won't hurt you.

He does that when he's afraid.

I wish I could.

Stay where you are!

Officer: Do not move!

Get down on the ground!

I kneel to no one.

No, I have orders not to harm other life forms.

Your orders, not mine.

What the...

I'm stuck. I can't move.

It's some kind of immobilizing beam.

I thought you said this was a primitive planet.

I said it was a dung heap.

It seems this dung heap has obtained advanced technology.

Officer: We will not harm you.

Do not resist.

I think this is the part where I'm supposed to help.

Any ideas?

Press the activation code

on the star marshal's command communicator.

That's how he controls the ship's computer.

Great idea.

How'd you like to go get it and bring it to me?

I'm guessing that's a no.

Press the Librum button.

Which one is that?

It has a vertical line intersecting

with a horizontal line.

Oh, the letter L. Done.

Yuka, activate the escape pod's disbursement field

at 50 feet.

How'd they escape those beams?

Where'd this dust storm come from?

I thought you had orders not to harm other life forms.

You attack me first, all bets are off.

Good to know.

Look out!

Hang on! We're going down!

Hey, "h, guys?

Can we try not to destroy anything else?

Those are my tax dollars at work.

Sorry, but you've become a nuisance.

Mayday! Mayday!

Report! Report!

I want to know what's going on out there.

Officer: We've got to put her down!

Over!