Star Trek: Lower Decks

Captain's log, stardate 57436.2.

TheCerritos is docked at Douglas Station

for routine maintenance and resupply.

We will soon set course for the capital planet

on the Galar system, where we're scheduled

to make second contact with the Galardonian high council.

First contact is a delicate,

high-stakes operation of diplomacy.

One must be ready for anything when humanity is interacting

with an alien race for the first time.

But we don't do that.

Our specialty is second contact.

Still pretty important.

We get all the paperwork signed,

make sure we're spelling the name of the planet right,

get to know all the good places to eat.

Oh, my God. What are you doing?

-Uh, nothing, nothing, nothing. I'm just... -Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

-Are you pretending to do a captain's log?

- We're all supposed to keep logs.

-Okay, let me listen to it. -No. Go away.

-Leave me alone. No. No. -Ah! I can't believe

you're wasting your shore leave on this.

-Privacy, please. -Aah! Hey, time to go.

-Come on. Get out of your little closet. -Privacy.

Let's go. Come on.

Are you drunk?

Yeah, dude, you should be, too.

I mean, this station is amazing.

And they have Romulan whiskey.

And I bet you thought it was going to be green,

but it is actually blue. It's this very beautiful color.

Romulan whiskey is against regulation.

Yeah, 'cause it's awesome.

Aw, man, they got all sorts of great stuff.

Oh! Oh! Come on, check this out.

- Oh, yeah. -Ah! Be careful with that!

Pretty sweet, right?

Yeah, it's a Klingon bat, um, bat, uh, bat--

I don't know. I'm not a scientist. It doesn't matter.

-Shut up. I got it from an old guy with an eye patch. -Hey, hey.

Come spar with me. Come on! Oh, we can be Klingons.

We can have crimped hair, wrinkled foreheads.

-Worf, Worf, Worf. -It's got crusty blood on it!

- I love honor! I demand honor! -Hey, stop. Stop!

Wow.

Wow.

Here we go.

Ensign D'Vana Tendi, reporting for duty.

I'm a transfer from Outpost 79.

Deck Four. Follow the yellow line.

Take the turbolift all the way down.

Thank you so much.

And can I just say that I'm really honored to be...

Keep it moving, lower decks.

Next!

Banana, hot.

Banana, hot.

Aah! Frickin' burned me.

Uh, i-is there an Ensign Boimler here?

Banana, hot.

Hi. Here, that's me. Ahoy.

Ensign Tendi reporting for duty.

You're my orientation liaison.

Yes, welcome. Brad Boimler, Ensign, command division.

Ah! Oh, my gosh.

I've never worked with commanders before.

I'm in sciences.

I love science. Uh, it's so sciency.

I mean, that blue goes green with your great--

-I mean, great, with your-- oh, my gosh. -Yo-yo, what up?

Beckett Mariner, also an ensign, command division,

but not quite as impressed with myself

as this little rascal over here.

Yeah, we're not actual commanders, by the way,

-we're more like commanders-in-training.

I can't believe we're gonna serve side by side,

scientists and commanders, an elite team.

Yeah, no, we're not really elite.

We're more like the cool, scrappy underdogs of the ship.

You know, we don't wash our hands,

we're doing kickflips all the time.

But with focus and dedication,

you could be chief medical officer someday.

Oh, senior officers are overrated.

They're always, like, stressed out

and just yelling about directives.

It is better down here, where the real action is.

You really don't care about moving up in rank?

Been there, definitely over it.

Whenever you think for yourself, they knock you back down.

You know, for someone who claims to hate rank,

you certainly bring it up a lot.

Yes, I'm very complicated, thank you.

-Ooh, you want the tour? -O-Of the-the ship? Uh, yes!

You don't like giving the tour.

True, but I do...

...have a big box of shore leave contraband

I need help with.

The senior officers are all up here,

then you've got Engineering, science stations.

All sorts of ops around here...

Ops, ops, ops, storage, ops.

Actually, there's like a ton of ops.

-It's like, guys, I think we have ops covered.

-And we're here? -Well, no. We're actually way down here.

What this map doesn't show you

is that everything from, like, this deck up,

super lame, not important to us.

-You like the bar. -All right, fine.

-Everything except the bar. -And the bridge.

-The bridge is not cool. -Yes, it is.

Oh, hey, that's Rutherford.

Rutherford, what's up?

Yo, yo, yo, slow down. Is your thingy acting up?

Rutherford's an engineer, oh, and, as of a couple weeks ago,

cybernetically enhanced.

Ooh, I've never met a recent cyborg.

Hey, nice to meet you. Welcome to the crew.

Wait, don't you have a date with Ensign Barnes tonight?

-Sure do. -She's crazy hot. Are you nervous?

Trying to be, but this thing keeps tamping it down.

Yikes. Okay, you got it.

Uh-oh, I'm nervous. What if I say something stupid?

What if she doesn't like the way that I look?

Ah, I can only look one way. I can't change it by tonight!

-Better? -Yeah, thanks.

What if she hates my jokes? I don't know any jokes.

Oh, I'm gonna puke.

What else?

That's a room of switches and dials

you'll never need to go into.

It's actually a pretty important processing hub.

Nobody knows what that room is.

It's a pattern-buffer maintenance access.

She knows that. She's being funny.

Ah, and this is Boimler's hidey closet,

where he pretends to be a captain like a big boy.

This is not a good tour!

So, yeah, we kind of sleep in a hallway.

It's a little disappointing,

but eventually, when you rank up, you get your own room.

We're pretty close to the showers, which is nice.

Does get kind of musty, though.

Which is weird 'cause the showers are sonic.

Whoa. Whoa.

It's... perfect.

Well, once you get settled, you should probably check in

with Nurse Westlake in Medical.

You'll be assisting him with some basic...

Ooh, let's go check out the holodeck.

-She doesn't have time for that. -How do you know?

Because I'm her liaison.

Oh, yeah, then what time is it?

And don't check, because if she doesn't have time,

then you should know what time it is.

Otherwise, you're just trying to sound important.

So, what time is it?

Welcome to the holodeck.

Easily the best part of the ship.

The warp core is the best part of the ship,

uh, followed by the bridge,

the photon torpedo tubes, cetacean ops...

Dude, the warp core is just a big glowing tube.

I love the warp core. The warp core rules.

No, it doesn't.

Computer, find us a beach in Hawaii.

What is this?

This stuff is crazy. What does it do?

Oh, it just gets everywhere and gives you a rash.

You get a rash from sand?

-What, you don't? -No. Nobody does.

Oh, God, I always do.

Go ahead, take her for a spin.

Computer, can you put us in the Adashake Center on Orion?

Wow, I never made time to go before I enlisted.

Pretty cool, right? You can go almost anywhere you can imagine.

-Come on, Boimler. Give it a whirl. -I-I don't know.

Come on, there has to be somewhere you'd love to be.

Um... Computer, show us the warp core.

Wow! Amazing.

What an impressive feat of engineering.

You really bum me out sometimes.

Ensign Boimler, report to the bridge.

You work on the bridge?

Yeah. That's right.

Because they appreciate people who follow the rules.

Who's boring now?

On my way.

Wow, does he get to go up there a lot?

Nah, just whenever someone spills a drink or something.

Computer, load Mariner program

"all-nude Olympic training facility."

You might want to back up a bit.

Wow, this is a very detailed program.

Farewell, Commander.

Thanks again for your hospitality, Chancellor.

We'll be sending construction teams down to help with the...

to help with the subspace comm array