Summit Fever

Doing good.

Yeah.

Keep going. Yeah.

Just on the left.

Left foot where your knee is.

Ugh... Agh... Huh!

Fuck!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

Slipped on the hold.

Cogs beat the shit out of me, man.

Almost had it. Yeah.

Nice one.

Ah, you made it look easy.

There's not a hundred people in this country

that could have made that move, man.

You're climbing two grades better than last time.

Yeah.

Did I tell you I got a few sponsors looking at me?

Yeah? Yeah.

To climb out in Chamonix, man.

If I can make enough noise this summer, they should bite.

Nice one, man.

Got a couple of interviews lined up.

Planning on posting some big routes.

Yeah? Like what?

Like what?

Like Matterhorn,

Eiger

and the south face of Mont Blanc.

Ah, the big three.

It's quite an ask. Yep.

Which is why I need my climbing partner.

Ah, I can't, man. Even if I wanted to.

The internship starts on Monday. You know that.

Oh, yeah. Insurance, right?

It's just temporary.

It's gonna be temporary for the next 50 years, man,

if you're not careful.

Come on. Term's over.

This is our last real summer holiday.

Ever.

You can worry about next year next year.

What do you say?

Suit and tie...

or ice ax and crampons?

Twenty-two years on this planet, you still can't tie a tie.

Label's sticking out. Smarten up.

You've got a real opportunity here.

Fit in.

Keep up.

Ah, David.

This is my son, Michael.

All right, son, how you doing?

Give him the tour, would you?

See that?

Six grands' worth of kettle.

Shoes, another bag.

Whistle, three large.

See the Porsche outside? That's mine, innit.

I'm walking round this place with a hundred grand wrapped round me.

You know how I got it? On the fucking phones.

This is you.

Now, pick up the phone and dream big.

Carol, where's that latte?

I'd love to have a minute of your time.

Hello.

How we doing, boy? What we got?

That should have been done about 1:00. Yeah, but it's my first day.

Don't really care, buddy. I know.

Don't really care. Fake it till you make it.

Any other cliché you want, mate.

Hey, Mikey, Mikey!

Just want you to see what you're missing out here.

Look at that! Yee-hoo-hoo!

Mm?

All right.

High pressure moving in.

One mountain, one week.

You'll be back in front of your computer before you're even missed.

I do appreciate you didn't break into your own house.

Yeah, right, mate. Yeah, yeah.

Improved by Sailor420

Hope you enjoy the sub-show

Aaah, Mikey! There he is!

A postcard?

Ah, man, what, you traveled back in time to get this?

1984. I knew it would get your attention.

A text would have been fine.

You ignore my texts, man.

All right, guys, a couple of quick intros.

Michael, say hi to Natascha. Natascha, say hi to Michael.

Hey. American?

Canadian. Yep.

But don't get any ideas.

'Cause this is Leo, her boyfriend.

He's a climbing guide.

Alps, Andes, wherever you wanna die, man.

'Sup? Not Canadian.

California. Make a lot more money here than back home in the Sierra.

Well, Mr. Moneybags...

And this is Rudi. He's a snowboarder.

He should turn pro any day now, yeah?

Yeah, and then I can kiss my day job goodbye.

I need money, bro. Gimme your watch, hmm?

Ah. Uh-huh.

A review on Tripadvisor

called me "a fucking prick".

A review we can all trust.

Ha, fuck you!

It was my proudest moment. So what?

Yeah.

All right, brother, how long have I got you?

Five days. It's the best I could do, man.

Any longer and I'm out of a job.

All right, finish up, girls and boys.

Let's go climbing. 'Bout time.

Let's go!

Wait. What, what, what, now? Yeah.

Man, I've just driven 500 miles. I've hardly slept.

What are you, like, 40?

We need to get you acclimatized, man!

Come on. This is it, Mikey!

Grab your kit, man.

We take the telecabin in 20 minutes, all right?

Uh... Ha ha!

You're in Chamonix, baby!

Climbed anything of note out here, Michael?

It's my first time in the Alps.

Fledgling, huh? Guess you must like babysitting.

Ah, Michael can handle himself.

He put up a new route on the Orion Face.

Orion Face? Never heard of it.

It's on Ben Nevis.

I did Scotland once. Never again.

Who the hell climbs in weather like that?

Yeah, well, any fool can climb when the sun's out.

We'll see.

I can feel the altitude.

I mean, come on.

You just ascended a third of Mount Everest in 20 minutes.

Push through, man. Couple of days, you won't even notice it.

Ah, au revoir, motherfuckers!

Yee-hoo! Be safe.

Au revoir. Tres bien.

Hey! Isa.

Hey, Michael, this is Isabelle. She's one of us.

Not much of a climber, though.

And you're not much of a skier.

Ooh.

First day?

Yeah.

I can see that.

He's used to climbing molehills in Scotland.

And Wales.

And Wales. Yeah, he's just finding out

what thin air tastes like, that's all.

We're gonna see how the Englishman copes at altitude.

All righty. Well, good luck and be safe.

- You too. - Thanks.

Hey, this is slow, Michael. Even for you. Come on.

I haven't acclimatized yet. Gimme a break.

Don't get used to these baby rocks, Michael.

You won't find them on the Matterhorn.

Shit. Well, I'd better go home then.

Too late, baby! I got you now.

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, honey, JP's climbing faster than you.

If he tries to pass you, push him off.

I'll say it was an accident.

All right, let's go.

Hey, Michael,

look beneath your feet, man!

Yee-hoo-hoo!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Yeah!

That's a keeper, my friend.

You don't wanna wait for JP and Michael?

I need a beer.

There's no bar up here last I checked.

They'll catch up. Okay.

Well, age before beauty.

Mwah.

Come on, Mikey. Last few steps. Almost there.

Heh heh, yeah!

Yeah.

Whoo-hoo!

Welcome to the asylum above 4,000 meters!

You nutter, huh?

Worth bleeding for?

That's the altitude, man.

Worth bleeding for.

Yeah.

This is only the beginning, mate.

Come on. We're gonna miss the last lift.

Ah, we'll make it!

Yeah, you might.

He looks fried.

Well, I made it to the top, didn't I?

Yeah, and it beat the crap out of you in the process.