Tientsin Mystic (河神)

You might need to shift the sub timing around at some points, the upload I have drops some frames and the audio desynced.

All rivers lead to Tianjin

between these three bridges, and these two roads

are people who rely on

and die by the river.

The people who are sustained by the water

must pay their respects to the water

The annual river festival weighs heavy

on the minds of every person in Tianjin

O great god who protects and pacifies this river! Xuanwu!

O Great Xuanwu

God of the River!

River God! River God! River God!

Swim fast, little buddy. Don't let them catch you.

How do we even start this article?

In Tianjin, strong swimmers gather to

compete with each other and catch a black turtle in honor of the River God

Don't Guo Deyou and his team win every year?

What's the point then?

That's why he's not here this year

With Guo abstaining and

with only five of his diving team joining

the other swimmers have a chance

Lan Lan

Didn't boss Xiao tell people to avoid

the river ceremony this year?

Isn't this going to be a problem?

Shouldn't we go back?

If you wanna go, then go.

I can write this article by myself.

How was it?

Come on!

Hey! What's happening?

Did you get it Tie Niu?

Yeah

Where?

Break up the crowd first

Huh? Why?

Break it up!

C'mon let's go, let's go

Get back, get back!

What's the issue?

I found this.

Leave! Quickly!

A water demon!

It's a dead child.

The present path we walk is

strewn with sorrow and paved with adversity

Only death may bring peaceful rest

Tie Niu...

Go find a couple of others

and prepare a quick burial

Don't let this ruin the festival

That bastard killed someone

Silence!

Xuanwu, the Turtle God, protects us all!

王八 (Wang Ba) can mean both turtle and bastard in Chinese

Why would he want to kill this child?

It's not just the child.

There's another body underwater.

Brother Guo!

Brother Guo!

Brother Guo!

Something went wrong during the ceremony!

Brother Guo!

Brother Guo!

Tie Niu found a child underwater!

He says there's still another body!

Brother Guo!

Brother Guo

We're all waiting for you at the pier!

The police arrived already!

Brother Guo

Brother Guo!

GUO! YOU! SHIT!

Guo Deyou!

The fuck is your problem?

Where were you yesterday?

Can't you see that I'm practicing?

You can come back when I'm wo-

Tell me where you went yesterday!

Let me tell you something

Master Guo gave me this bathtub!

Now that you broke it how am I supposed

to make medicine or practice?

These aren't your regular clothes, they're expensive.

Stop playing around, Xiao He Shen.

Xiao He Shen or "Little River God" is Gu De You's nickname

Be straight with me.

Who's your girlfriend?

What's it to you?

My love life is none of your business

Fine! I'm going to burn those shirts.

The Ding's eldest son!

Who?

Ding Mao.

He's the only child of Ding Yiqiu

the head of the Canal Shipping Committee

Master Ding

You don't have much time.

The Committee is in disarray

You need to return with me

Master Ding! Master Ding!

All of Tianjin is out looking for him!

The entire committee was worried sick

You're also helping look?

I already fished him out.

He paid for my dinner as thanks

for me saving his life.

We both know your tastes lean towards women.

I mean...

the atmosphere also helped.

Where were you.

Hrm?

Tha-

Where!

Cang Cu!

And Cang Cu is a restaurant now?

Well like, you can also eat there...

Guo De You!

Jesus, you're short tempered.

You're going to die old and alone. Damn.

You guys better not have just been

releasing turtles in the water.

They found corpses in the water.

Cry me a river.

Haven't you ever seen a corpse before?

Aren't the other team members there?

Did none of them go?

Nope.

I'm inviting you.

None of them went?

Good morning sir!

Morning, morning, morning

Have a nice day!

Girls, Girls just one kiss!

Just one! Oh, stop.

C'mon, c'mon, just one!

Sir

Did you sleep well?

You shouldn't leave

unless you're satisfied.

If you are then can I just trouble you

to settle the bill?

What bill?

Your friend from Fuxiang called ahead

and told us you'd pay.

My... friend?

What was his name?

Who doesn't know Xiao He Shen?

Gu De You!

Where can I find him?

It's fine. You don't have to look for your wallet

We can just get your signature.

We'll send someone to your house to collect the money

And you're all good!

Do you know how I can get home?

As if I also don't recognize the Canal Shipping Committee!

Do you think I didn't open a brothel as well?

Open what?

A brothel.

The river ceremony is happening right now!

Xiao He Shen will be super busy!

Low! Low! Low! Low!

Four, Four and Six, High.

Eating, Boozing, and Whoring all pay for

the losses made by gambling more

Good game, Good game.

Alright.

Sit, sit sit, please sit.

Everyone says that Master Guo is good at gambling.

I don't care if I win or lose, I'm just here to have fun

So let's both play then.

I already won

I'm sorry, but I need you to find someone.

Your office can't handle the responsibility

so the Committee sends for outside help?

Master Ding has disappeared.

Who wouldn't start to panic?

If he's in Tianjin

we can find him on land

But if he's in the river

we have to rely on you, Master Guo.

The water is too cold to go swimming in.

And your students?

Xiao He Shen? Gu De You!

Yu Si

Being impolite only brings trouble.

Do you even know what the salvage team does?

We're dedicated to the dead.

This is a pun, since death and four sound similar in Mandarin.

However, a living person

cannot have more than three of these

So what you mean to say is

that Ding still lives?

Smoking kills young man.

Hurry up! Hurry up!

Move along, nothing to see here!

Let's go!

Have the women and children leave first.