Workaholics

Oh, yeah. For sure, dude. Everyone's gonna be there.

Yeah, we went to spencer's gift and, like, spent, like, $60.

So we are set. We've got lights.

Bring whoever you want, man. We don't care.

We're inviting everybody.

I'll talk to you latro. Peace.

Big party tonight, huh?

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

Uh, you should stop by, dude.

Do you want me there or not?

What is this? This ain't seinfeld.

I don't just pop in.

You know what, y'all!

Let me know when that antivirus finish scanning.

Should be like 20 minutes.

You guys ready to get weird tonight or what?

Fur sure.

Ho-ho! Lookin' straight grizzly.

Bitch better have my honey!

Oh. Ooh. Bear puns. I like those.

Dude, I can't believe you spent your entire paycheck.

On that jacket.

Well, I didn't spend my entire paycheck.

I made $350 and carl gave me a deal on the coat.

$345. That's good.

That's a good deal. So you saved five bucks.

Way to go.

Well, I invested my savings.

In a little bottle of ipecac.

It's the stuff that makes you barf.

Smart move.

Basically a get-out-of-work-free pass.

Yeah, it makes you barf, dude.

'cause nothing makes me barf. It's weird.

I've got a stomach of steel.

Adam, scientists developed that.

It would make you vomit.

- Because scientists made this. - Yeah.

Who believes in scientists, dude?

Let me give this a little testeroo.

Hmm. That's weird.

Definitely don't feel like barfing right now.

Oh, wait. Ugh! No, I'm barfing.

Ugh! I'm barfing right now. I'm not barfing.

- Okay. - Wait I'm barfing.

Ugh! I'm barfing.

Those scientists better check their hypotenuses, dude.

Oh, god.

Sorry, bro.

Reading has never came easy for me so...

- That doesn't matter. - Whoa.

I need your help, guys.

Dude, you are too drunk.

To get your shirt back on.

Stop it, dude. We were having an ab contest.

And I won. Obviously.

Chelsey niederdeppy's here, okay?

And I invite her to all the parties that we throw.

But she never comes.

And she came tonight.

Right. Awesome. Who is kelsey nieder...?

Chelsey niederdeppy, dude. It's the third love of my life.

- Third love. - Yeah, third love, dude.

You don't know third love?

Think of it... it's like shrek, you know?

The first two are cute and funny,

But this third one sucked.

- Ha. Yours? - No.

Man! Let's do this right now.

Shortest to tallest.

Make me look cool, please?

- Course. - Do my best.

All right.

Who are those old dudes?

Can you touch your elbows behind your back?

Sweetie, no.

Why don't you go get 1980s jock style.

On those dudes, please.

- All right. - Thank you.

Oohoo hoo, ders effect.

Can I help you?

Yeah, you can get me another beer.

Ha ha. Actually, we can't because we ran out of beers.

Ten minutes ago.

So why don't you guys tell that story walkin',

Christopher.

Ho ho ho ho! Yeah. Slam.

What's up, chelse?

Fyi, jerk-off, we lived in this house.

From '88 to '92 so we've got a lifetime party pass.

You know the deal. Beer it up.

All right, I don't think you get it, grandpa.

- No? - I swam varsity in college.

I went 20 point in the 50, okay?

- Mm-hmm. - I can fight without breathing.

Yeah. And I tried out.

For the high school wrestling team.

And guess what, I almost made it too.

But they said being a mascot was more my skill set.

go patriots. Right?

So when you guys are 69ing it,

Does captain caveman crank it in the corner?

Oho ho ho, okay.

If we do this, there's gonna two hits.

Me hitting you.

And kid rock's bawitdaba playing in the background.

Ders, you have that cued up, right?

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

Clark, come on. They want us to go.

So we'll leave.

All you got to do is make us.

Don't you think we would've done that.

If we could have?

I would fight them, dude,

But they've probably got old man strength.

And I can't handle that. Not now. I'm tipsy right now.

Dude, I said 20 point and they didn't even flinch.

Phelps changed everything.

Dudes, we were being jerks.

These are guests in our house.

Maybe we should bring them something to drink, huh?

Whoo! Flyin' in, drinks for the girls.

- Whoo. - Sorry about earlier.

We really got off to a rough start.

Yes, we did.

And we think it's really cool.

That you guys used to live here.

- Yeah. - And, uh, this one's yours.

May our casa always be your casa.

Yeah.

What do you say we guys,

Uh, do some jagerbombs, huh?

Let's bomb this hospital!

- Ah! Wha-wha! - Ah. Whoo!

You guys are... you guys are all right.

You guys are all right. You're down. You're down.

Very down. Nice.

- You guys feeling okay? - What's wrong guys?

Maybe we should clear a little path here.

Whoa!

Clear a path. Clear a path. It's about to get graphic.

- And stay out! - Oho ho ho!

Yes.

So glad you guys got rid of them.

It was getting weird in here.

Yeah, those are the kind of parties we like to throw,

Weird ones.

Not like the lame ones.

When we were in high school together, you know?

- You went to my high school? - Yeah.

We were... we went... we went to high school together.

She's joking. Really?

We saw 2 fast 2 furious together.

I had that hilarious seatbelt joke.

There was, like, 30 of us. I was like a row back.

I had milk duds. I'm sorry. I don't remember.

The lights went down.

I went "hey, paul walker, click it or ticket!"

No, I mean, I don't remember you.

We should go. That wasn't cool.

No. No. What? Don't. You don't have to go.

Let's talk, uh, let's talk clippers.

You're a fan?

Yeah, love the whole clip show.

Got season tickets so... Really?

Yeah.

Are you going to the game tomorrow?

'cause, I mean, if you're not,

We would love to buy the tickets off of you.

Oh, no. I'm going.

We should all go as a... as a team.

As a squad. Oh, we can take my escalade.

Everyone will fit in there. You have an escalade?

Uh, esv extended or ext pickup?

Ooh, it's white and really shiny.

You should see it.

Oh, no, I've seen it.

I've built it, like, 100 times on the internet.

Oh, my god, this is gonna work out perfect.

So let's just go in my room, grab some booze,

And talk deets or whatnot.

Uh, I'm sorry, the puke is kind of burning my eyes.

Let's just... let's talk tomorrow.

No doubt. No doubt.

And what beautiful eyes they are to burn, milady.

Hamlet. It's page seven or eight.

I'm not sure. Okay.

Yeah, no doubt. All right. No doubt.

No doubt. No doubt. You want a coat?

You need some help walking to your car or what have you?

- Thank you. - Okay.

- I'll see you. - All right, see you later.

Ho ho! Boom boom boom boom.

What? What? What? This is real? This is real?

Gosh. We have to get tickets to that clippers game, man.

You know who's gonna be there.

Yeah, my one and only third love.

Chelsey niederdeppy.

No. My childhood hero and season ticket holder.

To all clippers games, marc summers.