Unfaithfully Yours

Bravo!

My name is Claude Eastman.

As you've probably guessed, I'm a symphony conductor.

You may have heard of me. I didn't always possess this uniform.

For 20-odd years, I ate, drank and dreamt music.

I became a... well, what the hell, I'll say it...

great conductor and, simultaneously, a lonely man.

I wanted more.

- Love, probably. - Bravo!

Be careful what you wish. You just might get it.

I met her on tour, in Venice. She was acting in a film.

We fell in love and married almost immediately.

She made me young. She gave me life.

It was... It was great while it lasted.

But tonight, it will all cease to exist for me.

Because tonight, I'm going to... kill her.

My problem began four days ago.

I had just returned from a concert in England.

Now arriving at gate 73.

There he is. Claude!

Hi! Oh, mm!

- - Oh! God.

Oh, I don't believe it. You look more beautiful on Thursday than you did on Sunday.

I think you're improving with age.

Why don't you ever say things like that to me, Norman?

- Because she's nine years old. - Oh.

- Hello, Claude. - Oh, hi, Carla. How are you?

- I'm just wonderful. - Did you think of me often?

Every night, as soon as the girls left, I'd...

- "Claude Eastman returns to his homeland in triumph." - Hello, Norman. How are you?

- "Fine, thank you. Very well." That's Norman. - This is wonderful.

Sold out Albert Hall. Listen to this.

"A master of late romantic repertoire."

Bene, bene. I want to get the luggage before somebody steals it.

- All right. - Give me the ticket.

- Thank you. - That's it.

Get copies made of the London reviews. Make sure that Paul sees this.

- This is very, very important. - Norman and that machine are joined at the lip.

- I know. - Listen, this is gonna help the BBC interview.

Interview?

Oh, my dear, I was supposed to do the Time interview with jerzy for the movie.

- When? - Now. Carla, come with me. I have to call. I've missed it.

- Don't worry about it. He'll think it's very Italian. - Yes.

He'll kill me. Come on.

She is cute.

They're all cute the first year.

- Aha. - What?

- Your eyelid fluttered. - Fluttered?

You're doing too much. You're wearing yourself thin.

- And you're losing all perspective. -

- This marriage to Daniella... - Oh, Norman. Not again.

- Look, maybe we're overbooking you. - Well, you're not!

Well, two concerts a week. Scoring Daniella's movie.

- - You marry a very beautiful woman...

A very much younger...

Very much younger. Half your age.

- And I'm being kind. - So, what are you saying?

I'm saying it's affecting you.

You go out of town for three days...

and you're this jealous?

Jealous? Jealous of what?

It's none of my business, but having me hire a private eye...

to watch your wife while you're out of town is not my idea of complete trust.

What are you talking about? Private eye?

- Private eye. A detective. - What detective?

Giuseppe told me you wanted to hire a detective to watch Daniella while you were gone.

- This was my instructions. - Giuseppe?

- Yes. - My Giuseppe? This Giuseppe here?

- Of course! -

Hire a private eye? What...

Oh! That's not what I said.

I told him to tell you to keep an eye on Daniella while I was gone.

Take her to a movie. Take her to dinner. Make sure she wasn't lonely.

- Keep an eye on her! - He told me to hire a private eye.

- Didn't I tell you that couldn't be right? - Oh. That was...

- I told you it couldn't be right. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. - You see this?

An eye. "Keep an eye" on her.

- We had this discussion, didn't we, Giuseppe? - Okay. An eye.

I said, "Detective?'" You said, “Yes. '"

An eye. Keep an eye on her. Occhio. Occhio.

- -

I said, “A detective??' You said yes. You don't know what a detective is.

What does a "detective" mean?

- - Why don't you carry a dictionary then?

- Hold it! -

- Si, si, si. - Forget it.

- Forget it? Does Daniella know anything about this? - Of course not.

I'm not gonna tell her. The private eye won't tell her. He's a private eye.

- Make sure that Dan... - What's the matter?

Oh.

Just a typical booking misunderstanding.

- How was your call? Was jerzy mad? - Jerzy was very angry with me.

- What's going on here, dear? - Unimportant. I don't even remember.

All right. I'll park the car and then I'll bring out the luggage.

Eh? Signora.

Whoops!

- Mr. Eastman. Nice to have you back. - Thanks, Eddie.

- Come sta? - Bene.

- Broken again? - Yeah. Now they're wiring it for sound.

- Oh, good. We can get mugged in stereo now. - Modern technology.

- Yeah. - Could have hired 10 doormen for what this thing cost.

- Well, at least we don't have to tip the machine at Christmas. - Right.

- - Funny guy.

When I met the queen, I didn't know whether to kneel, bow or curtsy.

- What did you do? - Ah.

I knelt, Your Majesty.

- You did not! - Marrone!

Oh, I'm unhappy. I've done nothing but cook and eat since you've been gone.

- I gained three pounds. - Three pounds!

How disgusting! Where are they? I want to eat every...

- No, no, no, no, no, no. - Now I've got you.

I'm going to eat every one, individually.

- What's that? - What? Oh!

Norman said to put it where you wouldn't miss it.

You have rehearsal with Max at 9:.00 a.m.

Don't be late, huh? The two of you look so handsome.

Oh, take it down. I don't want to see it.

- Why not? - Because!

That man is keeping us apart.

Wha... What do you mean?

I love Max, but tomorrow morning I want to be in a warm bed with you...

not in a... cold rehearsal studio with him.

The maestro and his young protégé.

Hmm. Daniella.

You know what I said about you improving with age?

- Do you think that's true of me? - Of cou...

I mean, do you... Are you...

No. Are you gonna miss...

um... younger men?

- The truth? - No!

- What a question. -

Younger men are like fast food restaurant, you know?

- It's quick, but not all that good. - Oh, well.

- - But with you, it's like dining...

at the most wonderful, expensive restaurant in the world.

- - Of course, the service may be a little slow.

Yeah, but...

- That's great! - Well, it was all right.

Come on. It's great.

Lovely. Really. Listen, what about here?

Do you want that a little... a little broader?

And just keep this steady, because I want to lay this in more.

- Very strict. Okay. - Yeah.

Claude, you have rehearsal in half an hour. And Giuseppe's here for your haircut.

- Oh, okay. - By the way, congratulations.

- What? - Your child bride. She's, uh... She's outrageous.

- What, you met her already? - What?

- You met her already? - No. No, I didn't meet her.

I, uh... I saw one of her movies, in Venice.

- About, uh, two weeks ago. - Terrific!

Yeah. She's... She's real nice.

Coming from you, Max, I feel I've done something right at last.

- Well, you have. - Well, I'll rehearse with the orchestra this morning.

- I'll see you this afternoon. - Okay.

Okay.

- 2:00, Steve Weintraub, pianist. - Right.

- 2:45, violinist Leonard Bragg. - Hold it. Hold it.

- 3:.00, Norman... - One week from tonight, we find out about China.

Norman, I told you, I don't want to even consider China right now...

- Giuseppe, you're gonna make a hole back there. -

What, are you shrugging Off a continent? There's 800 million people there.

- I know. - If they hate you, 200 million people come by accident.

They're looking for a restaurant.

Isaac Stern didn't want to go. What happened? Academy Award.

- Claude, the programs are being printed next week. - What?

Somebody said you're substituting another piece for the Mozart.

- I haven't made a decision yet. - Go with Rossini or Verdi.

- Giuseppe, cut the hair. - The printer's ready to kill me.

- I know. - Help him out, will you? Look at him.

We have to have something to put on there. All we have is the name of the concert hall.

Then the programs are blank. We'll give the audience a pen. They can fill in their own.

- How about that charity luncheon next week? - No! No, no.

- I've already said no. - This is wrong here. Here. Just a minute.

Change the hotel in Chicago. The room service closes after 9:.00.

Nice place in Mexico City. Giuseppe, do me a favor, will you?

When you're through, call my office. I want to get a little clip, okay?

I work for Claude. There's a barber downstairs.

Even the president's barber cuts other people's hair.

- Girls, girls. - All right, Claude, you can try now.

- Looks good, Claude. - Yeah?

- Great. Thanks, Giuseppe. - Si, si.

- Claude... - No, Bill. Really. Okay?

I've got something here for Norman Robbins.

- His secretary said he'd be here. - Okay. Leave it.

- Uh-uh. My hands to his. - Sign the register.

Uh-uh. Larry Bernstein. Piccolo player.

What are you talking about? What news?

Well, I think there's something here...

that Mr. Eastman should take a look at.

Really? There is? What?

Oh, give me a hint!

I'm not at liberty to divulge information to non-principals.

- I understand. What is it? - Let's just say it's pretty heavy.

- You've gotta be kidding! - In my business, that's the last thing we kid about.

Uh, the envelope is sealed.

I'm sure it is. I wasn't even looking at the envelope. I was looking at the light.

Okay. Thank you. Very good.

Give your résumés to the janitor. He'll know what to do with them.

Excuse me, Virginia. Can I borrow Max a moment?

- Max, can I... Do you mind? - I'll call you later.