Everybody Loves Somebody

I see it everyday.

The illusion of love.

You would be surprised at the percentage of...

I see the ones who will start being disappointed.

The ones smack in the middle of disappointment.

The ones making an effort not to be disappointed.

It's part of my job to see these things.

Sex, family... Hey!

couples love.

You learn a lot.

Okay, everything looks fine.

Take her, for instance...

do you know where the father of her kids is?

Neither does she. ...looking good, which is great.

She waited years for the perfect love of her life,

who ended up coming Ina frozen sperm tube.

And these two look adorable, don't they?

Not so much, no.

So many people fundamentally

mistaken about their lives.

Chasing after the fairy-tale, settling for what they can get.

It's exhausting.

Because they can't admit one simple, devastating truth:

Love, actual love...

is, at best, improbable.

It's not meant for everyone.

It is the privilege of some lucky few.

And if you find it, you'll end up losing it.

So it's better if you accept the thing for what it is most times.

Were you waiting for someone here?

Uh, no. Sure. Sit down.

Learn to make it quick.

Learn to make it fun.

Just learn to love that it ends as fast as it begins.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Oh.

Wow.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

What? What?

I love you.

Okay. Okay. Okay?

Mm-hmm.

Mmm! God, yes! Okay.

Mom... is this what I get forgiving you a key?

How do I look?

Hmm?

You're wearing white?

Of course.

The priest will not approve.

On the contrary, he loved it.

Is that Clara? What'd she think?

She's shocked it's white.

I mean... Yep.

What did Dad say?

Nothing. He can't see it yet, it's bad luck.

Come on! You've already

lived together for forty years.

But now they suddenly believe in marriage.

Remember when you got married?

We don't need belief, we have empirical proof.

Your grandpa would be so

happy to see me finally getting married...

by a priest and everything.

He died so scared you both were going to hell...

...for being born out of wedlock.

No worries, we can still go to

hell for some other things.

Ay!

Go take a shower, you smell like frat house.

Yummy!

And we have a fitting for your bridesmaid dress. That's why I came to I.A.

I can't, I have a consult and a due date.

It's Saturday.

Some babies are born on a Saturday...

It's like they don't even care about my weekend.

Hey!

Where did you sleep? I was out last night

and stayed out. I didn't know you planned to ambush me

with mom and white ruffles.

You were out naked?

Not initially, it developed that way.

I can't believe our parents are getting married before you do.

That's usually how it goes, they're the weird ones.

I also can't believe that a woman with your mind and your legs

can't scare up a date for the wedding. Yesterday's guy wasn't good even for that?

Yesterday's guy was barely good

for what I wanted him for yesterday.

You can't keep sleeping with men you don't want to see again,

even to get your clothes back.

There's not much left to see.

Specially if you're out the door at dawn.

I've been in love.

I know what it is.

So I can easily

recognize what it is.

It's been a million years, sis.

Eight.

You have to give it a chance. Why?

Because I'm old and should - start thinking about settling?

Because you need someone to go places with.

Get a move on, otherwise the bride won't be happy.

until she sets you up with one of the Guadalajara cousins.

And they're the hands-on

side of the family.

Just find someone pretty.

And if he's Mexican, she'll

count it as her wedding gift.

Someone pretty and Mexican...

...I can do that.

Push, push, push! Okay!

There we go!

Thanks!

Congratulations. Well done!

Is he okay? He's fine.

He's great. Okay.

The brand-new baby boy, huh?

Congratulations!

Hmm? What?

I'm just here to pick up the charts for Leslie.

I was just in the room with you and Mrs. Pecanzas.

I know. Mm-hmm. The delivery room.

Thanks.

What'd your boyfriend do?

Hmm? Excuse me?

Uh, or girlfriend. It's...

Well, someone has sent you a million flowers.

They must've done something. It's the... arrangements.

Right. Yeah. Uh... no.

No, no boyfriend.

No, these are sample centerpieces

for my parents' wedding.

Yeah, I have to pick one.

Maid of honor.

They're renewing their vows? That's great.

No, no. Brand-new vows. Yeah, they never got married.

They were hippies in the '70s,

and now that they've been happy and together

for 40 years, they need fresh, new ways to...

rub it in.

I'm sorry.

No, it's...!

Mm! Yeah.

Hmm.

You're pretty.

Excuse me?

Are you Mexican in any way?

Ay-yi-yi. We're so late.

We are so late. It's okay.

My mom's gonna kill me.

Oh, no, you don't need that.

We're crossing an international border.

Oh, yeah, I know. You're gonna need that

on the way back, but...

So, they don't care who comes... But we could be anybody.

No. They can sense that you're

a harmless soul.

Yeah, I mean, and that's very accurate of them. I am.

But, you, on the other hand, you could be...

What is... Come on!

Good afternoon. Hi.

Something to declare? No.

Go ahead.

Oh, hey. Yeah. It's fine.

Thanks. Thanks.

And thanks for coming, by the way.

Thank you for inviting me.

Listo. I'm driving

on the way back.

Wow!

That's, uh...

That's one hell of a view! Look at that.

Yeah, I bet you don't have this in Australia, huh?

We do, it's just, like... It's nice to see what comes second, you know?

Oh!

Um, oh, uh, what's the name, again?

Jacinta. Jacinta.

Yeah, your grandmother's name was Jacinta.

Uh-huh. And she was born in Sonora.

Sonora. And she... Oh! Okay.

Easy, easy. She, uh...

met an Aussie in Texas.

Aussie in Tex... Right, right. Okay.

We can give her an easier name, if you like.

Can you handle Maria?

Please, be more condescending