Big Deal on Madonna Street (I soliti ignoti)

- The cops. - Oh, no!

Freeze! Freeze!

- What did I do? I'm an honest citizen. - Sure you are!

I'm trying to catch my tram. My wife's waiting for me.

One, two, one, two, one...

squad halt, right front, at ease.

One month later...

Hey, here I am! Move it!

- You sure took your time. - Hi.

- Norma my darling, are you fine? - Just fine.

Counselor, are we all set?

Proietti, the best I can do is to get you the minimum sentence.

Are you kidding? I haven't confessed yet.

Counselor, I gotta get outta here, now.

I've got a little job waiting for me out of this joint

and if it turns out right, I'll be set for life.

I met a guy in here

who told me something...

Hey, can't you yell quietly?

He's just told me my grandma has been asleep for the last five days...

Well, keep it down or you'll wake her up!

Counselor, let's find a legal loophole 'cause I gotta get out.

Get the penal code out.

Listen here, article 403 is no good.

Go to 117, page 128.

You're an old offender... if anything we might claim 521.

No, that's no good anymore.

We gotta claim 124 or 606.

How? You were caught red-handed.

Did you already forget about 1400?

What's this 1400?

1400... the model you wanted to steal...

steal? Are you crazy?

I don't even have a driver's license.

What are you doing? I see,

you did all you could do. I need a substitute.

I don't have any.

Not for you, for me.

I don't get mixed up in this kind of business!

Who's asking you? Go on, get lost.

Maybe I'll call you again when I need to draw my will.

- Norma... - Yes?

Listen here. Capannelle has 100,000 lira of mine.

Did you hear me?

That's to find someone who'll take the rap for me.

A scapegoat, d'you hear me?

You know that when I come out, if I pull that job,

I'll buy you a fur coat.

Marry me instead.

What? I'll get out of this short sentence to get life?

Are you crazy?

- Call Othello. - Why?

He's gotta take the rap for someone else,

but just for a couple of months.

He's already in. They pinched him yesterday.

Watch it, grandpa, you blew my shot.

And you blew my eye out of its socket! Damn it all...

Tell me kid, do you know a guy called Mario,

who lives around here?

There are a thousand Marios around here.

Yes, but this one is a thief.

There are still a thousand.

How much for this?

Stealing strollers now?

It's the only vehicle left with wheels and no alarm.

We gotta paint it or they'll recognize it.

Is 3,000 lira all right?

Hey, Mario. I've been looking for you for the last two hours...

- May I? - Be my guest.

- Eight thousand. - No, take it away.

Listen up, I've got something for you. Cosimo needs a scapegoat.

Just for a few months, but very well paid.

If it's a matter of a few months, why doesn't he serve them?

'Cause a very big job came his way.

Are we set for 4,000, then?

4,000 and you throw in these three umbrellas.

Hey, it's a baby carriage, you know!

Fine, fine!

Are you winking at me?

Who's winkin'? I got hit in the eye.

Right, you got hit!

What are all the umbrellas for?

They're for my mother.

Holy cow! It always pours in your mother's 'hood!

No, she misleads them all the time.

Now she'll have some extras and she'll stop bothering me.

So, what'd you say? 100,000 right away

and a little extra once the job's done.

I'd go in myself, only I've taken the rap three times already.

If I'll show up again it's life.

It's not like I don't want to,

but what do I tell my mother, "see you, I'm off to prison"?

- Always your mother! - Mind your business!

You're already on your way there!

Send the sicilian guy, Cosimo's pal!

- Who's this sicilian? - The small, skinny guy.

The one who keeps his sister under lock as if she were a relic?

Ferribotte?

Michele. Michele, someone's at the door.

Into the kitchen and stay there 'til I tell you.

Who is it?

Friends... Mario and Capannelle.

Greetings.

Can't we come in for a moment?

Impossible. My sister's in.

I don't want her to know about my business.

Besides, she's a minor and she's engaged.

And when's the wedding?

The dowry question needs to be settled.

She's gotta walk to the altar with the greatest honor.

She mustn't be denied a single thing.

See? Ferribotte is our man.

Well then, 100,000 lira would come in handy for the dowry.

Not here.

Carmelina, I'm going downstairs.

Let's hear.

I can't leave Carmelina on her own.

And what if the groom found out? Goodbye wedding.

He's from Abruzzi.

Those people from the North, they're full of airs.

So difficult finding a scapegoat these days!

Tiberio, the photographer...

He's in a very bad spot.

They've jailed his wife for cigarette smuggling.

That's right. Let's go see him. Move it.

Fine. I was looking for a scapegoat and I only find shepherds.

Mario, take out the umbrellas. Can't you see it's raining?

Are you crazy? They're going to get wet.

What did you get them for, then?

Tiberio. Hey!

We've got urgent business to discuss.

Shush! The kid's sleeping.

I though it was some serious deal.

Of course! Lucky you, you don't have any! You'll see!

Can't you get laces for those shoes instead of dragging them?

If he wakes up, I'll kill you!

It took me three hours to put him to sleep.

Big deal!

Quiet... quiet I told you! see, the slightest noise

irritates him, light irritates him...

he sleeps only in the darkroom...

- Did you hear about my wife? - No...

80,000 fine, for cigarette smuggling, commuted to three months.

Article 218. she's already served one and a half months.

Such an unlucky year. I even had to sell my camera.

No little jobs on the horizon, some smuggling?

How about 100,000 lira without lifting a finger?

- 100,000 lira? - Yes.

I could kiss you!

You've woken up the kid.

There he goes again. Have you lost it?

What are you doing? Watch it! You can cry your eyes out, I've had it!

He's so spoiled! so cute though! Have you ever seen him?

- No. - Come see him.

Cutie... come here daddy's darling.

Hey, we ain't got no time to waste.

You're laughing now. What am I going to do with you?

What am I going to do?

You tell him.

Ferribotte, what's up with you, man?

Attempted theft of private property, Article 712:. six months.

I am not a first time offender, so I'll get 9 months for 100,000 fine.

That means 12,000 lira a month. Big deal!

How much do you want?

No, we're far off... stop it!

Get your hands off the baby food!

I understand you've lost your teeth, still...

And right now I really can't. Where would I leave the kid?

- In jail, with your wife. - Sure!

They're well looked after in there. They've got the best nursery ever.

The best in all Rome. I still remember it. When I was three...

No, no, the kid'll go to jail when he's all grown up.

- And if he chooses. - Fine.

Guys, you'll never get an ex-con for 100,000 lira.

You need someone with a clean record.

Someone with a clean record? Who knows someone like that?

Actually, I do know someone...

Who?

I understand it's almost April, but why should I play the fool?

You're always broke.

And you still owe me for those passport pictures.

Hey, do you or do you not read the papers.

I'm favored, and if I win I might even be a contender.

Sure, contend what?

With that spare tire around your waist.

Are you Cosimo's moll?

Yea, why?

Well then, it must have been a while since...

Get lost.

Over here.

If we each put in a little something, we might make it.

- How much? - There are five of us. 10,000 lira a head.

Marchetti and Picchioni. Come on, it's your turn.

Coming.

What do you want?

Will 150,000 do?

We'll rustle up 50,000.

I can't.

I'd be barred from the ring, understand?

Take it easy. You have no record.