Childrens Hospital

_

Comrade, you wanted to see me?

I don't know who the hell you are!

- I called for Lola... - Spratt.

At your service, sir.

I heard you were a great impressionist.

Thank you, sir.

And if this is about the Bahrain-Madrid conflict,

I've been working on a Drew Barrymore impression that

like, might be really helpful

towards finding a peaceful resolution.

This mission isn't about impressions, agent.

My understanding is that in a previous life,

you were a pediatrician,

a damn good one, according to Dr. Brian.

Brian.

I-I haven't heard-- heard from...

Brian, I-I can't.

Goodbye.

- Is he... - Yes.

He's still an Eagles fan.

And yes, he's very much alive,

But, like the Eagles' offensive line,

no one has seen him all season.

Sir, I need to see Brian.

You complete this mission,

and I'll arrange for you to see him.

- Deal? - What's the mission?

The President has an illegitimate daughter,

Code name "Jennifer, the President's bastard kid."

This is top-secret.

Not even the First Lady knows about her.

The girl's become ill, and bringing her

to an outside hospital is too risky.

I need you to assemble a team of American pediatricians

who are off the grid, preferably based overseas,

a team that we can trust to treat the bastard

here in the White House, secretly.

Know anyone?

No.

- I thought I'd ask. - Yeah.

Oh! Wait!

This is so cool. I'm the biggest White House fan.

No, the biggest White House fan

would know that I'm the biggest White House fan.

Even I know that.

- Oh! Good. You're here. - Hey!

- Look at you! - Lola!

I don't have time for "Hey! Look at you! Lola!"

I need to get you cleared and up to speed yesterday.

Yesterday? Oh, my gosh. I love it when she's assertive.

- Talk to me like that... - Yesterday's not good for me.

Looks like you all passed the background checks.

- Yes! - Oh, God, yeah!

- All right! - Except for two of you.

What?! Who?

- Aah! It's me! - Ow!

Hey! Ohh!

- Awwwww, man. - Oh, well.

Spratt? Spratt.

Where the hell is she?

Right here.

- What?! - Wow!

Got me again.

Kidney punch!

All right! All right!

Okay!

Can't believe they're kicking us out.

I know.

I wish we could sneak around and see stuff.

Yeah, but the only way we could do that

would be if we got out of these giveaway medical scrubs

and got into some clothing that made us look more

like foreign diplomats or something.

Good evening, ambassadors.

You can just leave your clothing with me and enjoy the sauna.

Holiest of guacamole.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I sure am.

Oh. You meant steal their clothes.

This will be your workspace.

Uh... This won't do.

We-- We need to work in an environment

we're familiar with.

Okay!

This is more like it.

Wha-- Excuse me.

This water fountain isn't supposed to be here.

It's supposed to be here.

We did the best we could based on the satellite photos,

but it looks like we're about 6 inches off all around.

Typical government contractors.

"6 inches off"?

Is that how you explain bombing Cambodia

- during the Vietnam war? - That's correct.

6 inches on the map represents 12 miles.

We regret the error,

and it weighs heavily on our hearts every day.

Oh.

Well... Don't beat yourself up.

Nurse, get me a coffee.

Nurse? Where are the nur--

No nurse?

We need a nurse.

This is so cool!

We got to go check out the Jefferson bathroom!

The East Wing bathroom, the kitchen-staff bathroom.

The Chester A. Arthur half-bath.

As William Howard Taft used to say, "Let's go!"

Ambassadors. I've been looking everywhere for you.

Ambassadors? No, no. We're not am--

Ow! Stop it.

Sorry. We're not ambassa--

Ow! Quit it, Blake.

We're not ambassadors. I just wanted t--

Ohhhhhh!

I got it!

We are the ambassadors that you were just talking about.

Good. Follow me to the diplomat meeting room.

The diplomat meeting room.

Sweet! Do you know what this means?

I sure do.

- Got the X-rays. - Great.

Well, if only we had someone to put them on the light box,

then we'd be able to look at them.

Okay, you guys, come on, please.

If we don't cure her, then I may never see Brian again.

Hold on.