Fallo! (Private / Do it!) (Fallo!)

DO IT! PRIVATE!

ALIBI

Already up?

You know it never sleeps!

- But I'm still sleepy... - Come on, Cinzia... please.

Touch me if you like.

I have told you to touch me, not to fuck me.

God, Cinzia... That's heaven!

Enough, Gianni. You'll embarrass me if you look at me that way.

If I do, huh? What if the doctor does?

- Which doctor? - You know what I mean!

Come on little slut, tell me about that time at the gynaecologist’s.

Gianni, you're really obsessed!

- Okay! You can look at me if you want! - Wait, I have a better idea.

No, not the tooth brush!

Come on, spread your legs.

- You're tickling me. - Do you like it, slut?

- A little... - If you don't like it, I'll stop.

- Please, don't... - Then tell me about doctor Marin.

- No, Gianni, please. - Alright, as you wish!

Well... if you insist!

Come on little slut. Tell me.

I had stockings and garters on.

and those panties you like so much.

- And the panties? - Should I take them off?

I think so.

- Also the stockings and the garters? - No, you can keep those.

Get on the couch please.

- Like this, doctor Marin? - Lie down and put your legs on the supports.

- Am I hurting you? - A little.

It needs lubricating.

Here... relax now.

Let yourself go... Does it still hurt?

No, on the contrary!

And then?

Did he fuck you? Say he put it inside you!

Yes... yes! We came together!

How? I want the details! Tell me, how did he fuck you?

I was on the couch and he was standing in front of me!

Like this?

No, like this... I was on top!

I want it all, let's move heaven and earth!

Do you like it, slut? A cock in front and one behind!

Yes, one in front and one behind!

One in front and one behind!

You wish it was a black man's, don't you?

What are you saying? A black man's dick in my arse?

Say it, slut! Say you would like it!

- Say it! - Yes, a black man's dick in my arse!

Oh, boy! A black man's dick in my arse...

Room 113.

Breakfast for two. Yes... Thanks.

- Who is it? - Who should it be? A black man?

I'm cold... Wrap me up a little.

May I come in?

Thanks. What's your name?

- Ali... I speak Italian, monsieur. - That's good.

- Thanks, also from my lady. - Not at all, sir. Enjoy your breakfast.

Wake up, sleepy-head! Breakfast's ready.

- Nice black guy. - Who, Ali?

How you do to know his name? Weren't you sleeping?

Who, me? I was... It was so to speak!

Around here they're all named Ali or Baba!

I'd like to watch you fuck with him.

- Me, but are you crazy? - Come on, I know you like him!

He's nice, handsome, polite... and I'm sure he has a huge cock.

- Stop it, Gianni! - Sorry, but the idea makes me wild.

Look!

- You're a real pig! - And what are you?

What?

Ten minutes ago you were uncontrollable!

That's different... In certain moments one says anything!

But they're only words... ''When it comes to sex, everything's permitted''.

- "In sex veritas"! - Arsehole!

Love, we're here in Morocco for the seventh anniversary of our marriage.

You know it's the most difficult year, let's begin it well.

- Having another man fuck me? - We are 2.000 kms away from home.

No one will ever know! And then it's a normal thing.

- Everyone does it, even the Zanins. - They do what?

- They swing. - The Zanins who sell tractors?!

- Exactly! - But they go to church!

- That's where they meet the other swingers! - Come on!

However, when the African guy got in you liked to show him your arse.

You see double, I was sleeping!

Sure... and moving in your sleep you showed him your body.

Maybe!

I see, you need an alibi.

His name's Ali, not alibi!!

And that all happens by chance.

To go with him would be as going with some of the black guys who work

in our factory! - Forget the factory Cinzia.

Forgets about Italy, forget everything!

We're in Casablanca, Let's just think about us!

You won't let him mistake me for a bitch, will you?

Don't worry, it will seem natural.

Spontaneous, simple and not pre-made.

You'll only have to let yourself go.

If that's what you really want...

- Good morning, monsieur. - Good morning.

- Can I help you? - I'd like a refreshing drink.

- A gin fizz, maybe. - It's hot, isn't it?

- In my country it's winter! - Where's your lady?

She's in our room, I think she's a little bored.

How can it be? With such a beach and the sea...

Dear Ali, you don't understand women.

Sometimes a holiday is not enough. They need something more.

Something which makes them feel special and wanted.

- A gift, maybe. - Exactly, a gift.

We've been married for seven years, we're here to celebrate our anniversary.

- I thought it would be enough. - But?

But it wasn't. After 7 years, couples go through a crisis.

A special gift is needed.

- Maybe I can help you? - You can! You'll be the gift.

I bed your pardon, monsieur?

Don't you understand?

I'm offering you a night with my wife.

And madam agrees?

Dear Ali, I told you. You don't really understand women.

When they say no, they mean yes!

I have understood that Cinzia wouldn't mind some spicy meeting.

That would be spicy indeed!

However. My wife is not a bitch.

Everything has to look spontaneous and natural.

You can count on me. I'm going to work till two a.m.

When I order some champagne, that'll be your signal.

- I'll be ready. - Alright... How much is it?

The gin fizz is 2.00 Euros... As for the champagne, at your convenience.

Fucking Italians...

- Champagne's over! - Hurray to our marriage!

I'll order another bottle.

The bar please.

A bottle of champagne. Room 113.

You like to watch? Then watch!

That's heaven...

Show me how you touch yourself.

That's the alibi, honey. Don't worry and happy anniversary.

Turn around, get on your knees.

Many happy returns of the day, dear!

How many? I want way many, Gianni, maaany!

One in front and one behind!

My God! An African dick in my arse!

SWITCHING PROGRAMMES

- 40-0. - That's not fair.

- Why? - Foul play.

- What have I done? - Wrong suit!

That's regulation suit.

But if you wear it, it's deadly! Adversaries get distracted.

Sorry, it's not my fault. 2-0.

- I'll accept it only, if we play doubles! - Do you like the way I play?

I like your ass! If we play doubles I'll always have it in front of my eyes!

But we wouldn't win any game!

On the other hand, I'd have a permanent hard- on.

Silly! By the way, how come Erica isn't here?

My wifey had a bellyache. She went to the gynaecologist’s.

- How about your husband? - You know he's always late!

It's mine!

Hello?

That sucks, Luigi, you said you would! I see, the new programme.

You're on a meeting with whom? Bruno, Erica's husband?

But who is it? Your husband?

Of course. If you really can't, don't worry.

I'll have his wife take me. Yes, I'm playing with her.

See you tonight, bye.

Problems?

Because my husband fucks with a few sluts? No problem.

- She is playing tennis with you. - I hope she won't beat me.

I hope your husband isn't screwing her!

''Candid Camera'' airs on a different TV channel.

At least I don't have to pick her up, she said you will.

I can't, I have told Bruno I had to go to the gynaecologist’s.

Please, then. Mrs., make yourself comfortable.

I'll visit you at once!

They're wet. There must be something wrong with you.

- Let me see. - Stop!

You still haven't told me if I'll present the new program.

- Everything in due time. - Exactly, now.

Bruno is the director, I have to ask him.

Who decides, the network manager or the director?

If the director does, I'll go back to play the good wifey!

The director doesn't count. I do, but a tryout is needed!

- I've had enough of playing. - Me too.

Tennis, at least.

Tennis...

Looks like my husband is discussing the new programme with you.

That's good to know!

If I'm on a meeting with him, I can't harass his wife!

Come on, let's go change clothes.

Show me what you can do.

Turn around, get to the window.

Come back.

Kneel down...

Stick out the microphone.

Then? Am I any good?

You're a complete showgirl!

- Then I passed the test! - Slow down... It's just the beginning!

Stick a finger in my ass!

Then it's true! Directors are all perverse!

Our bosses gave us that habit. If they stop fucking us, we get impotent!

Never let it be!

- You do it all the time, don't you? - All the time!