Rizzoli & Isles

FORWARD, MARCH!

HALT! MAKE READY!

AIM! FIRE!

FIRE!

FORWARD! MARCH!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING, DRUM BEATING ]

HALT!

MAKE READY!

AIM!

FIRE!

FORWARD! MARCH!

HALT!

AIM! FIRE!

MAKING CROISSANTS SEEMS DAUNTING,

BUT REALLY IT'S AS EASY AS MAKING COQ AU VIN.

TO THINK IT TAKES TWO DAYS. MM-HMM.

HEY, JULIA CHILDS, I COULD BUY A TUBE OF THOSE CRESCENT THINGS

AND SERVE 'EM TO YOU IN 20 MINUTES.

NO! THROW IT TO SECOND! COME ON!

W-WHY ARE YOU YELLING? YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE OUTCOME.

REALLY?

GEE, I THOUGHT I COULD.

THAT WOULD REQUIRE CROSSING THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM.

GO GET THE HAND VACUUM

AND CLEAN UP YOUR COUCH CRUMBS.

MA, I'M TRYING TO RELAX.

OKAY, AND WE ARE TRYING TO GET READY FOR A GUEST.

HELP OUT.

COME ON, MAURA, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE YOURSELF AN ULCER.

ALL RIGHT? IT'S NOT ROYALTY. IT'S YOUR MOM.

ULCERS ARE CAUSED BY H. PYLORI, A BACTERIA.

OR CRITICAL MOTHERS.

I'M NOT CRITICAL.

AM I?

SHE'S NEVER BEEN TO MY HOUSE BEFORE.

Angela: NEVER?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SHE VISITS BOSTON?

WE JUST USUALLY GO TO ONE OF MY PARENTS' HOMES IN EUROPE.

THOSE TULIPS ARE WILTING ALREADY.

YES, I COULD SEE WHY YOU'RE SO ASHAMED

OF THIS HIDEOUS PLACE,

AND FORCING HER TO STAY IN THAT DISGUSTING GUESTHOUSE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S LOVELY. WAIT A MINUTE.

IF YOUR MOM IS IN THE GUESTHOUSE, WHERE ARE YOU STAYING?

WITH YOU, OF COURSE.

FINE, BUT JUST KNOW I DON'T SERVE COQ AU VIN.

I SERVE...COCOA PUFFS.

I KNOW.

[ CELLPHONES VIBRATING, RINGING ]

RIZZOLI. ISLES.

OKAY. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. I'M ON MY WAY.

I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO PRE-ORDER

THE ORGANIC PIG'S TROTTERS.

ARE THOSE FEET? I'M NOT EATING FEET.

I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU THE BUTCHER'S NUMBER. SURE.

COME ON.

YOU SHOULD CHANGE.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL CHANGE IN THE CAR.

THEN I'M DRIVING.

OH, COME ON. I HATE IT WHEN YOU DRIVE.

WELL, I HATE IT MORE WHEN YOU UNDRESS AND DRIVE.

BYE, MA.

Jane: ALL RIGHT, OKAY, IT'S SORT OF A SCREWY HOBBY,

BUT I USED TO LOVE THIS REV WAR REENACTMENT STUFF.

I MEAN, IT BUGGED ME

THAT THEY WOULDN'T LET WOMEN BE MINUTEMEN, YOU KNOW.

THOUSANDS OF WOMEN SERVED

AS LAUNDRESSES, NURSES, SEAMSTRESSES.

GEE, HOW FUN IS THAT?

ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE GOT?

PROBABLY A STUPID ACCIDENT.

BEFORE EVERYONE REALIZED HE WASN'T FAKING IT,

THE WHOLE THING WAS PROBABLY OVER.

JUST TAKES ONE GUN NUT SMUGGLING IN LIVE AMMO.

FOUND HIS I.D. IN HIS POWDER HORN.

CITY I.D. GABE BUCKNER, 27.

HE WAS A GARBAGE MAN.

MAYBE IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT.

MAYBE SOMEBODY WANTED HIM DEAD.

PERHAPS IT WAS SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T LIKE TO RECYCLE.

WAS THAT A JOKE?

ONLY IF IT'S FUNNY.

THAT'S AN ODD-LOOKING ENTRY WOUND.

WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT A MUSKET?

HMM. THERE'S NO EXIT WOUND.

HMM. UNUSUALLY RAGGED EDGE.

SO, STABBED FROM A BAYONET?

COLONIAL MILITIA DIDN'T USE BAYONETS TILL 1778.

MAURA, SHOT OR STABBED?

OR DID SOMEBODY CHEW ON HIS HIP?

OH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S FROM A BITE.

UH-OH. CAVANAUGH'S HERE.

OH. THIS IS A PAID TOURIST ATTRACTION.

CITY'S FULL OF 'EM,

CELEBRATING LIBERTY DAYS.

FASCINATING. HE WAS A SMITHY.

BLACKSMITH.

Maura, it's pretend.

PERIMETER'S SECURED. WHAT NEXT?

I'LL HAVE A COFFEE -- TWO SUGARS, BLACK.

OH. MAKE THAT TWO.

OH, CAPPUCCINO, PLEASE.

BUT ONLY IF THERE'S 1% MILK.

GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT PICKY.

HEY, I'M TRYING TO MAKE DETECTIVE,

NOT BECOME A BARISTA.

BRO, YOU KNOW HOW MANY COFFEE RUNS I HAD TO MAKE

WORKING MY WAY UP?

NOTHING FOR ME, BUT IF YOU HUSTLE THOSE COFFEES,

I'LL LET YOU HELP ME WITH WITNESS STATEMENTS. DEAL.

HEY, I'LL HANDLE THE MEDIA.

WE DON'T WANT TO PANIC THE TOURISTS.

FOR NOW, IT'S AN ACCIDENT. GOT IT, PEOPLE?

YES, SIR.

PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT, MEN!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MEATHEAD DOING?

RIZZOLI, GET HIM OUT OF HERE? YEAH.

MOVE IT FORWARD! HO, HEY, HO, HO!

IT'S A CRIME SCENE. YOU CAN'T BE HERE.

I WAS MERELY ATTEMPTING TO MOVE THIS ARTILLERY PIECE

OUT OF YOUR WAY.

COMMANDING OFFICER GENERAL EZEKIEL PARKER

OF THE 16th BRIGADE.

I'M MARTHA WASHINGTON.

LET ME SEE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE.

SURE. OF COURSE.

DWAYNE CRAVITZ? YEAH, NO WONDER YOU WENT WITH "PARKER."

IT IS SUCH A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

DR. MAURA ISLES.

PROFESSOR CRAVITZ IS A LEADING AUTHORITY ON COLONIALISM.

I'M A HUGE FAN.

YOU'RE A HUGE FAN OF COLONIALISM?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

HE'S ALSO THE CHAIR OF AMERICAN HISTORY

AT BOSTON CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY.

GOOD DOCTOR, YOUR WORDS FLATTER ME.

I LIKE YOUR PRETEND ACCENT.

IT'S QUITE AUTHENTIC.

COLONIAL AMERICANS SPOKE RHOTIC ENGLISH

IN A VARIETY OF REGIONAL DIALECTS -- SCOTS-IRISH,

WEST COUNTRY -- WHERE IS THE COFFEE?

I GOT SOMETHING BETTER.

DETECTIVE RIZZOLI, THIS IS MAGGIE McGEE.

THAT'S HER BOYFRIEND OVER ON THE GROUND.

I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT,

BUT WE DO NEED TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I WANT THESE WAR FREAKS TO PAY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE.

WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND HAVING ANY PROBLEMS

WITH THE OTHER REENACTORS? I'LL SAY.

WAS THERE ANYONE SPECIFIC WHO MIGHT HAVE WANTED GABE DEAD?

OH, YEAH. ALL OF THEM. THEY CALLED HIM A "FARB."

"FAR BE IT FROM AUTHENTIC."

JUST 'CAUSE HIS UNIFORM WAS A POLY-COTTON BLEND.

EVEN HIS BUTTONS WEREN'T HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.

YOU BELIEVE THAT?

BUTTONS?

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU'D HEARD EVERY MOTIVE.

PENETRATING INJURY TO THE ARTICULAR SURFACE

OF THE FEMORAL HEAD.

HE BLED OUT.

HUH. SAY, DOC, I WAS...

I WAS WONDERING IF...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH.

BUDDY OF MINE'S BEEN HAVING SOME CHEST PAIN.

DIDN'T YOU JUST HAVE A PHYSICAL?

HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?

DOCTOR SAYS I'M FINE. SO WHY AM I SHORT OF BREATH?

I'VE BEEN EATING BETTER, GETTING SOME EXERCISE,

AND I FEEL WORSE. ARE YOU EXPERIENCING DIZZINESS,

LIGHT-HEADEDNESS?

MAYBE A LITTLE.

I WANT YOU TO SEE A CARDIAC SPECIALIST.

HEY.

BALLISTICS UNIT CHECKED THE REENACTORS' WEAPONS.

THEY'RE ALL REPLICAS.

THERE'S NO SIGN ANYONE USED LIVE AMMO,

AT LEAST NOT IN THE MUSKETS. HMM.

SOME KIND OF A PROJECTILE PERFORATED THE ILIAC ARTERY.

COPPER-JACKETED --

NOT FROM 1776.

SHEARED OFF. LOOKS LIKE A .22 CALIBER TO ME.

THERE APPEARS TO BE A DARK GRANULAR SUBSTANCE

ON THE EXTERIOR.

TRANSFER. THAT BULLET RICOCHETED.

SO OUR SHOOTER WASN'T AIMING AT OLD GABE HERE.

WELL, IF GABE WAS COLLATERAL DAMAGE,

THEN WHO WAS OUR GUNMAN TRYING TO KILL?

SO, WE COULD BE LOOKING FOR A SNIPER.

Korsak: WONDER WHY HE JUST SHOT ONCE.

WHY'S HE SHOOTING ONCE IF GABE WASN'T HIS TARGET?

THERE ARE 48 REENACTORS -- 24 PATRIOTS,

24 REDCOATS -- ALL OF THEM WERE AT THE MOCK BATTLE.

THESE GUYS ARE ALL CLEAN. NO ONE HAS A CRIMINAL RECORD.

WE DIDN'T FIND ANY OTHER BULLETS AT THE CRIME SCENE?

JUST THE ONE DR. ISLES DUG OUT OF THE DEAD GUY.

SO AGAIN, IF OUR SHOOTER MISSED HIS TARGET,

WHY DIDN'T HE TAKE ANOTHER SHOT? NOT LIKE HE COULDN'T.

LOUD MOCK BATTLE -- EASILY COVER THE SOUND OF GUNFIRE.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EATING?