Garcia & Garcia (García y García)

This man is me: Javier García.

This man is also Javier García.

A different Javier García. It's better when he doesn't talk.

And coming this way is Hispavia flight 3567,

which has taken off on time for once.

You're probably wondering why I'm here, about to die.

Well, because I'm Javier García,

and for the same reason we do 99% of stupid things:

for love.

GARCÍA & GARCÍA

But it's best we start from the beginning.

About three days ago...

Morning!

MADRID LOW COST AIRPORT

HISPAVIA OFFICES

God, it's like no one works here.

Look, Darío. Listen to me.

Do none of you have jobs to do?

Listen to me.

This is the eighth flight cancelled this month. Is that normal?

And the worst thing is our best aircraft is grounded.

What do we tell the shareholders?

- Don't be dramatic, Eva. - Dramatic?

August and September, losses. October...

- Awful? - No. A disaster.

So we charge a few extras.

Extras? But we charge for luggage,

water, food, babies, overweight passengers,

credit and debit cards... We'll end up charging for air.

Something needs to be done.

With the ceiling. Paint it?

The company is what needs a makeover.

- We'll get thrown out. - So why are we waiting?

Getting it right could mean we either win or lose.

The shareholders' meeting is in two days.

God give me strength...

Why did I leave British Airways? I was fine there.

Javier García, the ninja of aviation.

- ¿What? - "Number one business consultant."

Specialist in major companies. Call him, he's our man.

Few people have seen him.

Like the A-Team. He arrives, does his magic, and vanishes.

Well, we're going to need a miracle to be able to afford him.

No, the miracle will be getting him here.

You're doing it wrong!

This is bland.

- Now what's up? - It makes my asthma worse.

Not the red wire, the green one.

I already told him. Green, not red, Borjita.

Tell me which, I'm colour-blind.

Colour-blind, asthmatic... Your parents must be happy.

Alfonso!

How is it going?

Will you please work on the plane, this is urgent!

Don't pressure me because I get blocked and can't work.

It's been two weeks of shots in the dark.

Well don't get your hopes up, I'm not too sure about this.

Cloe, we have a lunch date. Remember?

How could I forget, Ricky?

- I'm on fire! I'm on fire! - Spray him, he's on fire!

Coeliac, inflammable...

- And dumb. - So dumb.

FLY WITH HISPAVIA DON'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY

We've been waiting here for three hours.

Calm down. All complaints will be dealt with.

We only have one: we're still on the ground.

It's just delayed. I mean the plane, not your...

Excuse me?!

Your attention, please, passengers of Hispavia 6611.

We will shortly be disembarking. We apologise for the delay.

Meanwhile, you can buy our lottery tickets and win dozens of euros.

- Check it out! - What?

- The purser is on Sinder. - You're kidding!

- It says: "I like sleeping naked." -Sure.

And check it out. "Let's do grown-up stuff."

Like what? Pay a mortgage?

This is a disgrace. When will flight 6612 leave?

When 6611 lands. It's the same plane.

And when does 6611 land?

You see all the planes, Pablito?

- Look at that big one. - Cool!

Stop!

Stop!

Look what it says here!

It's so big!

Big.

Look...

Wow, it is big...

Pabli... Pablito?

- Big plane! Big plane! - Pablito!

Flight 6611 just arrived.

For more information, please go to our Hispavia counters.

JAVIER GARCÍA OFFICES, BILBAO

Where are you calling from?

Hispavia. HIS-PA-VIA.

I need to talk to Mr. García. It's urgent.

You'll have to talk to me, he just got back from Dubai...

It's a matter of life or death.

All right. If it's that serious, I'll try and track him down.

What a pain in the arse.

Pain in the arse.

I'd never have imagined a situation like this one.

But this is your third divorce, Javier.

I can't deal with Nina anymore. It's too much.

Same as the others.

But all this marrying and divorcing is making me rich.

- Is it doable in a week? - A fast-track divorce?

Fast-track or supersonic, but make it quick.

Check him out.

Bet he had hair when he agreed to represent my wife.

- Now look at the mess on his head. - Javier!

That's being bipolar for you: you never know what to expect.

- Nina is bipolar? - Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Where have you been, Javier? You fucking bastard.

You want to get rid of me?

Over my dead body.

And that of my gran, my dad, my mum, and the Holy Spirit.

So we have an agreement?

I'd kill you before divorcing.

And you, too.

Hope your liver fails.

Never. You hear me? I'll never grant you the divorce.

Right.

- Where are you going? - Yes, Olga?

- Crap husband! - They called from Hispavia.

- Hispavia? - A third-rate low cost airline.

They need a route plan and you're the best.

They said it'll be a tragedy if you don't help them.

I got some tragedies of my own.

Yeah, I can hear it. I did some research.

Rumour has it that the owner, Darío Torres,

is involved in some shady deals.

But they're willing to pay our fees, so...

- When would that be? - Right away.

Tell them I'm on my way.

Alfonso, the guys on top are fed up, they want a mechanic.

- An outside one. - Ricky is from Galicia.

One who knows how to repair it.

All right, whatever...

My wife's cousin is the brother-in-law of a jerk

who's a relative of this guy:

Javier García.

Don't know him, but they say he's the best. A Spanish MacGyver.

So why would he work for us if he's so good?

His wife died and he's depressed.

He hasn't worked for ages. Here, Javier García.

Javier García.

Bloody... Not this again, García!

SAVINGS BANK

Hold it right there or your badge is toast!

- Today, "charred mortgage." - We've known each other since school.

You were a scumbag loan shark even then. Too mean to share anything.

Dad...

- I know what I'm doing. - We came to check the account.

Don't be naïve, it's still in red.

If I don't have a house, want me to sleep here?

García is right. You're a loan shark and a scumbag.

Calm down, madam. You all know I delayed the mortgage payments.

Sorry. He overdid his meds.

Just so you know, the police are on their way.

Really?

- Let the BBQ begin, then. - No.

Crap. You answer it, Rosa. I've got my hands full.

Screw the banks, mortgages, preferential shares, and screw you, Antoñito.

He's busy. He dropped some screws.

Yeah, the very best.

When would that be?

Sure, of course he can.

- Dad, you won't believe it! - What?

You've got a job!

Take this, lad.

It's all under control. Just a practical joke.

I could hit you! Out of my sight! Come on, scram!

Bloody... Bloody García and...

BILBAO LOIU AIRPORT

Sure about leaving just now, in the middle of the divorce?

That's exactly why. So good luck, you got this.

By the way, not a word to Nina about where I am.

Don't worry. Have a good flight.

Not a word...

Cheer up, we won't get evicted this month.

You can't go alone, Dad, you're not well yet.

What if you get depressed again? Got the pills?

Yeah, and that's only if I get nervous. So don't make me nervous.

We'll join you, that way I audition for Cirque du Soleil.

- Sure! - Yeah, like they're gonna hire you.

I said no. I'll repair the plane and be back in two days.

- Are you sure? - Yes... Off you go.

- Bye, Dad. - Bye.

Summing up, I'd say you are an enneatype five,

maybe eight, a mixture of both,

dominant, self-demanding, megalomaniac tendencies.

A clear case of narcissism. I saw it when you walked in.

You're a psychiatrist?

You clearly have an unconscious lack of self-esteem.

Probably caused by an absent father and/or an over-possessive mother.

And you replace that obvious lack of self-esteem

by constantly changing partners, who you regard as objects

or superficial trophies.

Do we know each other?