Disturbing Behavior

What is your deal?

I got a big game on Friday.

Look, it's no good. I need my fluids.

Your fluids?

Yeah.

Mary Jo, I'm curious.

Why would you do something like that?

Why not?

It's self-mutilation, really.

Self-mutilate this, fluid boy.

Good find, girl.

Yeah.

Who's that?

Oh, shit. No.

Slut.

Andy.

You want to step out for a minute?

You kids shouldn't be out past curfew.

Andy Effkin, toast with the most.

You like our chances against Knight's Ridge?

We should do fine.

Thrown for a loss.

Is your arm okay for the game?

- It's good. - Offensive line up to par?

Son of a bitch.

Fuck.

Easy, Eff. Easy, buddy.

- I need my fluids. - Give me the gun.

Get out of here, now.

What?

You gotta be shittin' me.

That's Mary Jo.

Clarice, it's Cox. We got a wet one here on the bluff.

I just can't wait, Steve.

To do what?

To see my new room, my new school, my new everything.

Yeah, new everything.

It's gonna be awesome.

It's gonna be better.

Way better.

Come on.

Looks like you're moving to Cradle Bay.

- We sure are. - Sure you'll like it here.

- You'll never want to leave. - You hear that?

Hey, you. I thought you were gonna help me.

Come on.

Fridge.

Thank you.

You all right?

Yeah.

Just trying to put some of this stuff away.

Nervous?

- About what? - First day at school.

Dad?

What are you doing, dipshit? Don't worry about snakes in the garden...

when you got spiders in your bed.

"They had been so innocent and little there.

And all beyond was so unknown and great."

Very good, Trent.

To wit, when Pip says this...

Dickens is speaking of the joy of discovery...

of newness, of change.

Mr. Clark, perhaps you can relate.

Mr. Clark is new to us from Chicago. Do they read Dickens in Chicago?

Dickie Atkinson.

Welcome.

Tell us why you're late. Trouble with the camshaft?

Like you know what one is.

Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the carburetor this morning.

Peckerhead.

What is... if I may display my ignorance...

a peckerhead?

Why are you laughing, Whalen?

Nothing, Richard.

I was just thinking how ignorance kills.

- What does that mean? - Exactly.

You ass-kissing little fuck!

Boys!

Perhaps yet another little sojourn to the principal will serve you well?

Want to know what a peckerhead is?

- That's a peckerhead. - Thank you for the clarification.

Please send Principal Weathers our hosannas!

"Youth is wholly experimental." Robert Louis Stevenson.

I know.

These seats taken?

No. Go ahead.

I am Gavin. This is U.V.

I'm Steve.

Munchies.

U.V. Has some primo weed.

We smoked a fatty during gym.

Check him out. He looks almost tan.

Hello, Lorna. How are you today, my dear?

- Drop dead. - Contact.

- Who's that? - That is Lorna "Love-itis" Longley.

Fire of my loins, purveyor of my every masturbatory fantasy.

The entire female gender is separated into two groups.

Lorna comprises one group. All of womankind comprises the other.

You ever take her out?

Alas, Lorna is largely untouchable for someone of my social standing.

What do you mean?

It's a class system here at C.B. High, Stevie Boy.

Check it out.

There you got your motorheads, car jocks.

All the world's a gasket and a lube job and a pack of Luckys.

Music of choice: Posi-traction overdrive, classic rock...

Skynyrd, The Allmans, Bruce.

Drug of choice: Beer, Miller Genuine Draft.

Keggers can't be choosers.

Freaks who fix leaks.

Over here you have your microgeeks...

nerds, whiz kids and various other bottom feeders.

Music of choice: The sound of an Apple PC booting up.

Drug of choice: Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time"...

and a cup of jasmine tea on a Saturday night.

Freaks that go squeak.

Over there you have your skaters.

Riffin', ragin' kids and their ramp tramps.

Baggy pants, Dickie wools, doing 50-50 grinds...

with a gnarly grab finish on a homemade halfpipe in the woods.

Music of choice: The whack of a hacky sack.

Drug of choice: Ecstasy, E-tab. Baby, longer lovin' through science.

Freaks in sneaks.

Here's where it gets really nasty.

Lorna runs with that group there, the Blue Ribbons.

- What's that? - It's a community group of good kids.

Have bake sales, car washes.

- Kiss a lot of adult sphincter. - Blue Robots.

Here, here.

Those three guys: Cradle Bay's answer to Manson, McVeigh and O.J.

Trent Whalen, Andy Effkin, Robby Stewart.

I bet you didn't know that toast came in three flavors.

This group's music of choice: The hum of perfection, the buzz of ambition.

Drug of choice: Life, the pursuit of clean living...

at the expense of all who sniffle at the hem of their gowns.

Freaks, so chic.

Then you got kids like me and U.V.

Lames who like our metal heavy, our Marlboros light.

Music of choice: Harvester of Sorrow, Language of the Mad.

Drug of choice: What do you got?

Freaks all week.

That's it. Lesson over.

Class dismembered.

Welcome to Cradle Bay High, Stevie Boy.

Welcome to my nightmare.

- Why can't we help you with your math? - Just leave me alone.

Hello.

Phlegm.

P-H-L-E-M-G-H. Phlegm.

- Wrong. - Let me see that.

- What are you two doing? - We're having a spelling bee.

My brother Allen was the best speller.

- I thought your name was Steve. - It is.

Allen's my brother who died.

I have a grandfather who died.

Why don't we change the subject?

- Pass your plate. - Why?

- You know why. - Nathan.

Shannon, do you get yelled at if you talk about your dead grandfather?

Around here people go crazy if you talk about a dead brother.

Hello?

I'm here for the Mustang parts.

What the fuck?

What are you doing here?

The troops shall set you free.

What do you guys want?

Sweet Dickie, we want you.

We've got it for you, Richard.

We've got all the winning numbers.

We like to welcome all new students. Standard procedure.

As soon as Dr. Caldicott arrives, we can begin.

Doctor?

He's the resident faculty fellow, an outstanding educator.

He's been with us two years now.

Works with the students in a counseling capacity.

I think you'll like him.

I'm sorry I'm late. Hi. Edgar Caldicott.

It's nice to finally meet you.

- Everything okay? - Fine.

Have you given any thought to extracurricular activities or sports?

Not really.

- There's the Blue Ribbons. - The Blue Ribbons?

Yeah. They help each other study and practice.

It's a team effort.

It's a motivational workshop, really.

The Blue Ribboners have truly been making the grade...

and doing wonderful things on the playing field.

All of us here are aware of the tragedy back in Chicago.

- If there's anything we can do... - I said everything's fine.

Steven, we know how tough it can be.

Whether or not you want to be involved with the school...

we want to be involved with you.

- That's all the meeting is about. - Okay.

So go make some new friends.

- Like that? - What is it?

It's bona fide jitterbug.

It's my buddy, Rachel. Cook's Ridge trash.

She's a great chick, but she's Cook's Ridge trash.

Come on.

Dancing queen.