Action Team

Abacus?

Your--

Shh, shh, shh.

You're okay.

Okay, shh, shh, shh, now.

Take your time.

Take your time.

You got all the time in the--

You got something to say, say it.

Your penis is hanging out.

Oh.

Is he?

Is he really?

Ah, he is.

Oh, god.

I'm mortified right now.

I'm test-driving a zip fly,

and it's taking some getting used to, buddy.

Maybe put it away?

Oh, yeah.

What's the point in keeping it out?

Yeah, we just met, yeah?

Let me get him back.

Yeah, I've known guys 10 years haven't seen my johnson.

This was my meet.

Gringori was my asset, Logan.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you know my name?

You know me?

I sit four desks away from you.

What, at the office?

Agent 40, 43?

44?

49.

What?!

That's crazy.

Give me a second, bro.

We got Huxley?

We got Huxley in?

Huxley?

So, this is a aftermath of a siege.

This is Agent 49.

He's dying.

This is Huxley.

He is doing some work experience with us during the summer.

Are you for real?

It's a new government scheme.

It's something I'm pretty proud to be a part of.

You know, bringing through the next generation.

Is that guy gonna die?

Yeah, he's definitely, he's most certainly gonna die.

Find Abacus.

Abacus?

Did he...

What could that mean?

Ah, heck.

He's dead.

He's dead as a daddy dodo.

Yeah!

He's a nice guy.

I liked him.

He could do 500 press-ups on a couple of coconuts.

Yeah.

Good kisser, and all.

Strong tongue.

Yeah, he sounds like one hell of a human being.

Okay, let's roll this out, Action Team style.

Ma'am, we have a Skype friend request

from a Vlad Schev 69.

Ah. Thank you, Anne.

Must be Vladimir Shevchenko of Oliviak,

rogue republic of Russia.

I didn't know he was still active.

Shall I accept it and trace the source?

Yes.

I was just about to say that.

Accept it and trace the source.

Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

Cowardly custards of MI6.

Hello.

Yes, this is MI6, Ruth Brooks.

How may I help?

I have some pretty sick shit

lined up for you buttholes in the West.

Oh, really, and what's that?

Abacus.

Abacus, Abacus, Abacus, Abacus.

Abacus is a myth.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

Or maybe it's completely just a false flag.

That isn't what false flag means.

Isn't it?

A false flag would be if we planned something

to make it seem like you did something terrible

to frighten our own citizens.

Oh, you've picked up completely

the wrong end of the stick.

You fool!

Well, that's actually a lot cooler

than what we thought it was in the first place.

So maybe it is that.

Suck my dick, United Kingdom,

North America's favorite bitch.

That was good.

That last bit really felt good.

- I mean, it-- - Oh, yeah, and it was--

Yes, brilliant, right?

- Yeah. - What bit wasn't so good,

you think, Sergei?

What bit did we lose them on?

- No, I'm sorry. - Hm, no, no, no, no, no.

Whisper, what bit was it?

False flag.

False flag bit.

The one bit I gave you to look after.

Mr. Shevchenko, you haven't hung up.

- What? - You do End Call.

What? Right.

I'm sorry.

This is an new laptop.

We're just trying to get the bugbears of it.

- What have you done? - Buddy, I thought that it's,

what do I press?

- I don't-- - I think it's circle button

with camera on it.

- I think. - Can you still see?

Just put the lid down.

Just put the lid down.

Sorry.

You should be.

Is new laptop.

Well, I shall burn your mother's village down.

Oh, surely, I didn't know.

What the hell were you doing in Morocco?

You weren't even supposed to be there.

Right, now before you say anything,

you can't make me wear underpants.

What are you talking about?

Yesterday, on the mission, where Mr. John flopped out.

Embarrassed by...

Was there something else on your mind?

Yes, Agent 49 is dead.

He was one of my best agents.

What, best at being dead?

Just shut up.

You're a liability, and I'm sick of it.

Oh, really?

Would a liability be able to pull this from his pocket?

A dongle.

I found it on 49

before he bought it.

- Oh, that just-- - Great.

- Sorry. - Brilliant.

I got it. I got it.

- Oh, god. - It's difficult

to get a grip on it.

Look at your fingers, they're huge.

Just help me with the glass.

Get it off my fingers, please.

Stuck.

Ah. That's it.

Yep.

Right.

What's on this?

Details for an attack on the National Theater, Vienna,

where this year's World Peace Convention

of Good Day is taking place.

We fear Abacus may strike.

"What, you're joking."

No, I'm being serious, Ruth.

I worked this out on my own.

"You're the best, Logan.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

Oh, you'd be okay, but the world would be destroyed.

Right, well, that's interesting.

We had a direct threat from Vladimir Shevchenko,

name-checking Abacus, this morning.

Clever.

I look forward to taking him down.

No, no, Logan, you won't be taking anybody down.

You'll be going to Vienna as eyes and ears only,

and you'll leave the rest to the Austrians.

What the hell are the Austrians getting involved for?

Because Vienna's in Austria.

Oh, yeah. Mm.

You got anything, G-Whiz?

Hell, yeah, Logi Bear.

I've noticed a lot more people dress their dogs here.

I've seen three or four with little vests on,

mainly smaller breeds,

but I did see a Rottweiler in a hoodie.

Mm.

Must be a European thing.

I'm on you.

Cover me.

Right behind you, boss.

Good morning, Mr. Logan.

Action Team.

Your superior, Ruth Brooks,

has sent me to assist you in your operation.