The Ice Pirates

Range is 120.

Closing 785 per second.

Looks like a Y-class freighter on the starboard fringe.

Code?

ZP-183. She's lined up perfectly.

Laser shields on.

Let's get it over with.

Looks good.

Seal it up.

- Let me get it. - I got it.

Will you let me get it?

Take care of him.

Yeah, sure. Take care of him.

Take care of him.

Take care of him.

You take care of him.

Take care of him.

Sorry.

What's going on?

Got a bad program.

We always have bad programs.

Fifteen gallons says our robots can beat anything they got on this ship.

He's coming back.

What's going on here?

- Who are you people? - Maintenance, ma'am.

You don't belong on this ship. Guard!

Come on.

Whose quarters are these?

Princess Karina of Argon, you pirate...

Everything all right, madam?

Go on.

Yes, thank you. Everything's fine.

I thought I saw a mouse.

Would you like me to check on it for you, madam?

No, thank you. That won't be necessary.

Just the raving imagination of an old woman.

By the by...

Come on, let's go.

- She's a real princess. - Good. Let's go.

Maybe we should take her with us.

For the ransom.

Jason, you promised you wouldn't do this.

It's all clear.

I'll say.

She's beautiful.

What a waste.

Farewell, my beauty.

What happened to "we rape, we pillage"?

Tell Your Highness she just slept through the finest moment of her life.

Goodbye.

Spring water. I can smell it from here.

Just take a look at that. I'm retiring.

Retiring? Let's just get the ice first.

He's all yours, Maida.

Let him go. Just get down there.

Let's go!

Pirates! Sound the alarm!

Sorry to interrupt.

Thanks very much.

I just stole those!

Get them!

I guess we got you pegged.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Come on.

Jason, it's in here.

Get him out of here!

My hand! Don't forget my hand!

Use the robots! Use them!

Get in there. Attack him.

Get in there. Come on, you next.

Let's get him!

I'm on your side, you piece of junk!

How much do we pay for these things?

That's a TX-40.

It's more money than all of ours put together. Attack him!

I want my money back!

Watch your leg!

Attack. Not me, you idiot! Him. Get in there. Come on.

Come on, coward, move. Get in there.

Get in there. Get him, jump him.

Move!

Chop him. Get in there.

Swing. Jump. Kick. Sixty-two. Four. Good.

Attack him, hit him, work him, get in there.

Jump him. Yeah, take him.

What you looking at? Pop him.

Hit him, do what I told you to do! Watch your neck.

Yeah! He tries harder.

Little guys try harder. Why am I so tired?

Come here.

You, come on.

You see down there?

Power off in C section, sir.

Check it on the auxiliary system.

It's a negative.

Nobody move. Hands on your heads.

Get them up.

- Warriors. - Tell them to stop.

Call them off or I'll kill you.

- I mean it. - Cease.

Very funny.

It's all yours, laddies.

Come on! Move it! Let's get out of here!

- You want a lizard's leg? - Yeah.

So how long has the Princess been on board?

You'd be well-advised to stay clear of Her Ladyship.

She didn't look dangerous to me.

They'll blow up the whole damn ship!

I'm not going to blow up the ship. Time to leave.

248, get him! Go, go!

Doing it by the book again.

Look, pal, let's just get out of here.

Wait!

You all right? What the hell are you doing?

Come on. This way.

This way!

We didn't give them enough time.

We got 2 million gallons, minimum. I guarantee it.

Keep going. I'll catch up.

There's a whole fleet out there.

I'll meet you at the interlock.

Come on.

Keep up the good work.

I know you're all wrapped up, but this will only take a second.

What the hell's going on? Where's Jason?

Guess.

Not the girl?

God damn it, he's gonna get us all killed.

He's dead. Let's get out of here.

Come on!

They're into the ice hold. Come on.

- Nanny? - Sorry.

Nanny?

Make way. Excuse me. Make way.

- Who are you? - Fire drill, ma'am.

Women and humans first.

Stop them, you fools! He's one of them!

Come, this way!

I don't know who you are, sir, but I demand that you put me down!

Put me down!

I'll bite it off!

I'll cut it off!

Always losing his head over women.

I'll have every ship in the Galaxy after your filthy hides!

- They already are. - Put me down, you stupid fellow!

Alarm from the freighter Metterak, sir. They report pirates on board.

Set converging course. Sound battle stations.

You were given extra ships...

to destroy the pirates in this sector, Captain.

One extra squadron, sir.

There are thousands of planets in this area alone...

where they can hide.

Is it a lack of ships, Commander...

or a lack of resolve?

Pirate craft identified on Metterak, sir.

Arm all batteries. Prepare to fire.

- How's your stump? - Depressing.

- Warships closing. - Distance?

Thank you.

Sixteen seconds.

- Reciprocal course. - You're kidding.

We're going right at them.

Right at them.

That ship looks big enough to survive a collision.

The control room and Commander won't.

Fire all batteries.

The speed of convergence will trap us in the blasts.

- He's not changing course. - Neither are we.

Collision danger, six seconds.

Five seconds. Four seconds.

- Three seconds. Two seconds. - Alter course to starboard.

Spring water for supper?

Reduce speed to Green 4. Initiate evasive tactics, Delta pattern.

- They're already on to that pattern. - Is the new one ready?

Better ask our computer expert.

I haven't quite...

I think they've found us.

Spin left, arm main batteries. We better take separate pods.

- Good luck. - See you in Zagora.

Spin left.

Prepare to break.

Now.

Spin to port.

Spin to port!

It's not happening. The directionals are out.

Why do they always follow our section?

It's up to you, partner.

Templar pigs.

Here they come.

Get that one there. Good!

Here comes another one. Get him. Great. All right! Over here.

Quit that!

That one, get him.

You missed him.

Take her out of here!

If you resist...

we shall kill everyone on board, including the wounded.

Call him off.

Back off!

Take them.