Undeclared

Yep. That's the one I want.

I grew 7 inches senior year.

Like, I don't know how tall you are or whatever.

But, like, man, everything from here up...

It's all new.

60 percent of all people meet their spouses at college.

That means my future wife

could be, like, seated right beside me.

You and a girl.

Yeah, exac... yeah, why not?

Exactly, because, because, these girls at college,

they don't know me. They don't know who I am.

Yeah. They don't know that you threw up on the bus in fifth grade.

Exactly.

That you had to have your finger reattached

after that wood shop...

The point is, I'm tall and handsome, and...

And I've gained weight,

and I've, like, finally got a fashion sense.

Man, it's like the beginning of a whole new era.

A new era? You're the same guy.

What, you think you're cool 'cause you grew like a freak

and got a haircut?

I'm the same guy.

Yeah.

Well, uh, I'm the same guy.

Well, that's really interesting.

That's really interesting.

I guess old Steve

would have had no trouble doing this.

Dude! What the Hell are you doing?

I would have taken that!

Oh, God. What did I do?

Hey, nice fancy haircut.

You should join those backstreet boys.

Watch out, ladies!

I don't look like a backstreet boy.

Listen, you're going to college, right?

You gonna work for me?

Right, yes.

You gonna work? Yes, I'll work.

Say it again.

I'm gonna work. I like your hair.

Thanks.

Not really. I'm just saying that because I'm your father.

I think we're gonna be on the same floor.

It'll be fun.

Go!

Aw, honey, please. Come here.

Mom, will you just wake up grandma and leave already?!

I'm feeling a bit of anxiety.

I mean, it's not that big of a deal, but...

no, no. That's why you need a resident advisor.

Okay? It, uh, you know...

Actually, you, you remind me

of a girl we had last year.

You know, same problems, everything.

Its...weird.

But she's doing good?

I think she's much happier now, where she is.

Oh, my God! Is this her?!

Who are you?

I'm your roommate Lizzie! Ha ha ha!

Hi! Oh, my God. This is gonna be so much fun.

I have bigger speakers. I have more wattage.

I have bigger speakers. I have more wattage!

Wattage is what matters. It's the wattage.

Amps are completely meaningless now. It's wattage.

Hey. How's it going?

Hey, hey! Hey!

Hey, you live here?

Uh, yep. I think so.

I told you. I told you. I know. Okay. Okay.

I told you. I know, I know.

Um...I'm Steven.

Steven! Steven!

Yeah. That's us both.

Okay. All right.

Um...what are you guys playing? What's the game?

We can't tell you, because then we couldn't play it anymore.

Oh, Okay. Wait, I got one.

How...how tall would you say you are?

Right now? What do you think?

Uh...6...

One.

One! Gah!

Steven, you're killing me.

Thank you, Steven.

You are terrible at this.

Hey, how's it going?

Hi, mate.

I was just lying here.

You can have the bed by the window if you want.

Oh, no, this one, this one's cool.

You know, it's, um, by the corkboard.

I'm Lloyd.

Steven. Hello, Steven.

You're from...

England. Right, right, yeah.

I've been there once on this Jewish teen tour.

Shalom, Europe.

I don't know.

What's your major?

Oh, I'm, like, undeclared for the time being.

You know, it's just checking stuff out, kind of.

I'm in the theater department.

I guess I'll unpack.

Uh, I wouldn't unpack just yet, if I were you.

Not until after the party.

You don't want people messing with your stuff.

Oh, yeah, right. Which party is that?

Our party.

Did they not tell you? We're throwing a party tonight.

Oh.

This entire campus is heaving

with beautiful women that don't know anyone yet.

We want them to know us. Hence, the party.

"Hence, the party." That's so cool.

All right, mate. I'm gonna go run up some girls on campus.

Well, actually, if you want, I can help you with that,

'cause, um, like, I'm really good at that kind of stuff.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It's, like, my specialty.

All right. Good. Yeah, you should do that.

Um...I like your shirt.

Oh, yeah? Thanks. It's new.

Yeah. You should probably put your jacket back on, though.

It's gonna get cold outside.

Lloyd! Hey!

It's kind of scary, living away from home, huh?

I know. Isn't it great?

I...I've never lived with anybody before.

But if we stick together...

Oh. Sorry.

Hello?

Hey, it's Eric.

Hi, baby.

I'm pulling out of the parking lot right now,

and I'm starting to cry a little bit.

Oh, baby...

I just want you to know how much I love you, baby. That's it.

Oh, I love you, too.

I can't wait till I can make love to you again.

Eric, my roommate's here.

I know, but if I can't say those things to you, I'll die.

Oh, sweetie... I'm fine, don't worry about me.

It's your time to have fun.

I'll call you in, like, 15 minutes.

Okay.

That was embarrassing.

That was really, really...

that was embarrassing. You guys...

I think she might come.

Uh, excuse me...

Um, we're, like, having a party tonight.

Do you, like, want to come?

Oh, I'm a senior.

Oh, that's cool.

No, sweetie. That means I'm not coming to your party.

Wow.

That sucked.

Do you, uh, wanna come to the party tonight?

It's gonna be awesome.

Hi, uh, I heard about your party.

And if you have not already slotted the position,

I would like to DJ.

You..are you good at it?

Oh, man, I spin... and you have never heard it...

it's like, straight east coast thug hip-hop...

And Brit pop.

I've got Jesus, yes, I do.

I've got Jesus, how 'bout you?

You know what I mean?

Um...

What does that, what does that sound like?

Oh, my God. Somebody help me!

Oh, God!

We're having a party. Fourth floor. Party.

Hey, man, that sounds great. Yeah, I'll be there.

Um, I'll bring some of my fraternity brothers.

That's great. All right, man.

Cool. I'll see you then.

Steve, you're supposed to ask ugly guys.

Hot girls, ugly guys. Okay? Ugly.

Well, um... he's gonna take all our women.

He's gonna take all of our women.

Hey, having a party. You gonna come? You gonna come?

I want all of you to come.

Okay.

You know what this is?

It's a...Scrunchie?

That's right. It's a scrunchie.

But it's also a signal.

When I'm in the room with a lady,

I'll put this on the doorknob.

That means do not disturb.

Okay, cool, cool.

It's, like, when I'm in the room with a lady,

put it on the doorknob, that means, do not disturb.

That's right.