Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy

Ugh! Aah!

Aah.

Quill, this simulation has no value for combat training.

Turbo Plumber Cousins is not training, Drax.

It's the real 8-bit deal. And nothing will stop me from getting the new high score.

Peter, I bring urgent news.

No!

Oh-ho-ho. Hey, Victoria. What's shakin'?

Besides your trembling fingers?

What? Oh, no. That's just game twitch.

It's an Earth thing. You wouldn't get it.

I'm contacting you because Nova Corps

has issued a bulletin for a Terran

who has reportedly been using the missing Centurion helmet.

You know anything about this?

Hey, I haven't seen that krutackin' thing

since Warlock fixed it and sent it off to "find its destiny."

Really? Even though Nova Corps is offering

a ten million unit reward for its return?

Rocket, Groot, we gotta track down that Nova Centurion helmet now!

Okay, where are Rocket and Groot?

I gotta work on my landings.

Samuel Alexander,

whatever you're doing in there, it had better involve homework!

Don't worry, Mom! I'm learning!

Even if it is the hard way.

Sam, see who's at the door, please.

I'm giving your sister a bath.

Huh?

Yo! Down here! There ya go.

Uh, good evening.

We're, uh, from out of town,

taking a... survey...

for charity...

about the dangers of intergalactic artifacts.

Seen anything like this, kid?

Oh. Yeah. I think I have.

Wait right there, okay?

See what I did there?

That's called "finesse," my friend.

Ten million units, here we come.

You want this? Come and get it, you mangy rat.

"Mangy"?

That's it. Follow me away from my family.

Nobody calls me mangy!

Ya hear me?

Come back with my ten million units, humie!

You ain't the only one who can fly around here!

Stupid jet pack! Start!

I am Groot. You're right, bud.

Next time we don't ask.

Just grab the helmet and stick it in the sack.

Oh, man!

That's even worse in low gravity.

Okay, a walking tree and a talking raccoon want my helmet.

- That's not crazy at all, is it? - Ahem.

The helmet, kid. Now.

Leave me alone, or... Or what, punk?

Or... Or this!

Whoa. Huh?

Cease your attacks or face the consequences.

Where did you get that helmet?

None of your business, freaks!

Take a hike, you two.

This is our score, and we ain't splitting the reward.

That helmet is too powerful and too dangerous for a child to possess.

How can you think of units?

Eh, is that a trick question?

Leave me alone!

I... I'm sorry.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Me neither. So why don't you just come inside,

and we'll hash this out, one earthling to another?

"Earthling"?

Seriously?

This antique is supposed to convince me to trust you?

Hey, you know what? When I left Earth, that game was state of the art.

Lame. Like your former high score.

Hey! Don't touch that!

Right, 'cause it'd be wrong to try to take somebody's stuff from them.

I am Groot.

What are you taking his side for?

No one is taking sides.

We are merely trying to protect the child.

I wore that helmet once, and its power nearly destroyed me.

You have to give it up. No way!

Don't worry, Sam. The helmet was fixed since then,

and no one's gonna take it away from you.

But maybe you can tell us how you found it.

Okay.

When I was little, my dad used to disappear for days at a time.

When he came home, he would tell me these stories

about saving the galaxy with a magic helmet

that turned him into a super-powered space hero.

And then he didn't come home.

One day, this helmet just showed up in the garage.

I don't know why, but I tried it on.

And then I knew all of my dad's stories were true.

And, son, whatever you do,

do not try to find me.

So, naturally, you tried to find him.

I did the same thing with my dad.

Trust me, it did not end well.

So why don't you hand over the helmet so we can collect the reward...

I mean, keep the galaxy safe?

I am Groo-oo-oot!

Y-You can't take my helmet from me.

And you can't stop me from searching the galaxy for my dad.

Okay, Sam, the galaxy's a dangerous place.

You're gonna wind up hurting someone with all that power. Probably yourself.

Then we must train you to be a proper warrior.

Not where I was going with that.

Don't worry. When we're done, he'll beg to give up the helmet.

I am Groot.

Seriously?

That thing glued to your head?

Rocket, why are we slowing down?

Push harder, Sam!

Heave!

Ugh! What the flarg?

Target practice.

I suggest you get out of the line of fire.

That's it.

Just keep him occupied...

Whoa! Dad never mentioned a giant floating head in his stories.

And how is this supposed to convince Sam to give up the helmet?

Knowhere is the worst place in the galaxy,

with the worst people in the galaxy.

If this doesn't scare him straight, nothing will.

Agreed. Sam's posture is extremely poor.

We will frighten him to stand up straight like a proud warrior.

Hold it, Quill. No weapons inside.

And no funny business. We've got cameras everywhere.

I'm noting the condition of each of my beauties.

One scratch, and you're a grease stain on the F'Saki table.

Hmph!

Well, take a long, hard look, Sam.

Dirty, smelly, ugly,

whack-ya-for-lookin'-at-them-cross-eyed thieves, thugs, and cutthroats.

This is what the galaxy is really about.

This... is... awesome!

Yeah, that's what I thought once.

Until I met... the Ravagers.

Psst. Guys, hey. What's up?

Yeah, I need a favor. Throw a scare into this kid.

You know, like you used to with me, huh? I want to teach him a lesson.

Got a lot of nerve showin' up, asking favors from the Ravagers, Quill.

Especially after you iced Yondu.

What? No! No, no, no, Yondu's alive.

He's trapped inside a gem that's part of an all-powerful cosmic...

Yeah, that sounds like I just made it up.

How about we teach Quill a lesson, boys?

A slow, painful one.

Can we do the slow without the painful?

So, Sam, you see how dangerous the galaxy can be, huh?

Whoa!

So, what'd I miss?

Quill is teaching Sam the dangers of the galaxy.

I am Groot.

Shouldn't we help him?

Never interrupt the professor in the middle of a lesson.

I bet my dad wouldn't stand around and watch.

Hey, uglies! Leave him alone!

Okay, Sam. I think you've learned your lesson.

Let's just go home.

Hey! That kid's wearing the Nova Centurion helmet!

It's worth ten million units!

Get the kid out of here, Quill.

I'm not a kid! I can handle myself!