Seinfeld

Aren't mannequins an insult to your imagination?

You couldn't visualize a sweater...

...so we'll show you on this life-size, snotty puppet.

When they're finished they become crash-test dummies.

The end of the line for a mannequin.

"Whatever happened to Bob?"

"Have you seen that new Volvo commercial?

He's got a bull's-eye right in his face."

Mannequins are only used for car accidents and fashion...

...two situations that it's impossible for us to imagine ourselves:

Well-dressed or getting killed.

I'm sure some pro-mannequin organization...

...doesn't like the term "mannequin."

"Hey, they're not mannequins. They're the life-deprived."

- That was really good. - Yeah. Are you full?

Oh, no. I've had just enough.

Ah, here we go. Apple pie.

Best apple pie in the city.

Delicious.

I'm not waiting for you.

Take some.

- No, thanks. - You're not gonna have any?

- No. - Do you not like apple pie?

- No. It's not that. - Well, at least taste it.

No.

- You won't even taste it? - No.

Come on, try it.

A little taste.

Come on.

She wouldn't so much as taste it.

- Did she say why? - No.

She just kept shaking her head like this:

- Maybe she's diabetic. - No.

She carries Entenmanns doughnuts in her purse.

Maybe you said something that offended her.

I told her we should have moving walkways all over city.

- Like at the airport? - Yeah.

- That's a great idea. - Tell me about it.

- We could be zipping everywhere. - They could at least try it.

- They never try. - What's the harm?

No harm!

I'm sorry. There's no reason for her not to taste that pie.

- Who wouldn't taste the pie? - Audrey.

Dump her.

I never broke up with anyone for not tasting pie.

I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie.

- You did? - He could be eating a hero...

...he wouldn't offer me anything. It's a sickness.

Well, I can't walk anywhere now.

I'm just gonna be wishing there were walkways.

- What are you doing? - I got a pebble.

I never heard of that happening to a woman.

What the hell does that mean?

Hey. Oh, hey, Elaine.

- What? - Go like this:

- What? Why? - Do it, do it.

- Like this: - Like...

- ... like this? - Oh, yeah!

It's you!

- What's me? - There's a clothing store downtown.

They got a mannequin in there that looks exactly like Elaine.

- Get out! - It's uncanny!

It's like they chopped off your arms and legs, dipped you in plastic...

...screwed you all back together, and stuck you on a pedestal.

It's really quite exquisite.

- What's the name of the store? - Rinitze.

Oh, yeah.

May I help you?

It's this itch. I was watching TV without my shirt on...

...and my couch cushion didn't have any fabric on it.

Wait a minute. Rinitze. Don't they have some really cool suits in there?

Real boss.

- I'm going down there. - I'll go with you.

I gotta get a new suit. I got a second interview with MacKenzie.

I think I'm really close. They're taking me to lunch on Friday.

- Aren't you gonna need this? - Keep it.

It looks exactly like me.

It's like some pod landed from another planet and took your body.

Don't fall asleep, Elaine.

What's going on? How do you think this happened?

Whoa, look at this.

This is a beautiful suit, huh?

You think that could be a coincidence, George? Is that possible?

You are perfect for that suit.

You think so?

Excuse me. Where did this come from?

I don't know.

You really think this looks okay on me?

Fabulous. Perfect fit. And it's the last one we have.

I'm sorry. You can't tell me where the mannequin came from?

I told you. I don't know.

Well, is there somebody around here I could talk to who would know?

Why?

Isn't it obvious? This mannequin looks exactly like me.

Did you just roll your eyes at him?

If anybody should be rolling their eyes...

...it is me at him about you.

I think maybe you're flattering yourself.

That mannequin is wearing a $1200 Gaultier dress.

What are you saying, that I'm not good enough for this hideous dress?

Listen, Natasha...

I wouldn't be caught dead...

...wearing your crummy little Eurotrash rags.

I'll meet you outside.

- What is her problem? - What can you do?

Is this the price tag?

- Yes. - Yes, hello. Party's over.

I'll tell you a little secret. We're having an unadvertised sale...

...starting Friday. That suit will be half-price.

You think you could put it aside and hold it for me?

I'm afraid I couldn't do that.

It wouldn't be fair to the other customers.

Oh, yes, of course.

And we have to be fair.

So...

...I found out who supplies the mannequins and called him.

- How did they get your face? - I don't know, they wouldn't tell me.

Jerry?

Hello?

Excuse me.

I noticed you offered her a piece of your pie.

That's right.

- And you waved it away. - Right.

- Did you give her a reason? - Yes.

- I was full. - You were full.

So you gave a reason. You didn't just shake your head.

- No. I'm not a psycho. - Exactly.

You're not a psycho.

You've been very helpful. Thank you very much. Allow me to leave the tip.

Well, I think we've proven who the psycho is.

We certainly have.

Hey, Elaine, scratch my back.

- No way. - One lap around.

- No. - It'll be a funky adventure.

- Kramer, forget it. - Jerry, how about you?

I think you know my policy.

I'm going home to spatula.

Wasn't George meeting us here?

No. He's going downtown to guard the suit.

He's guarding a suit?

Do you need some help with that itch?

Madam, I pray you're not toying with me.

- Turn around. - Oh, all right.

- It fits you perfectly. - You think so?

What is this? Can't I leave this place for a second?

Can I help you?

I'm buying this suit.

- No. This suit is not for sale. - Excuse me, do you work here?

No.

Then what the hell business is it of yours?

I'm doing you a favour.

They're having an unadvertised sale.

This suit will be half-price starting Monday.

- Really? This Monday? - Yes. Take off those pants.

Actually, the unadvertised sale starts on Friday.

Friday? Thanks.

You know, for an unadvertised sale, you're doing a lot of yapping about it.

I can't believe your father owns this place.

So how are the desserts here?

Everything is delicious.

- You've tasted them? - I think almost all of them.

Oh, I see they have apple pie.

- You've had the apple pie? - Many times.

Audrey, I gotta be honest with you.

I'm a very curious guy. It's my nature. I need to know things.

Not tasting the apple pie the other day, I can't get past it.

You obviously like pies.

You carry doughnuts in your bag. You're not averse to pastry.

Surely you could see how this would prey on my mind.

- Can we drop this? - Why can't I know?

- Oh, Poppie. - Sweetheart, hello.

Poppie, this is Jerry.

- Welcome. - Hello, Poppie.

Don't fill up on the bread.

I'm making you a very special dinner.

Very special.

The pies.

I'm going to the bathroom. You know.

Ah, Jerry!

Tonight you're in for a real treat.

I'm personally gonna prepare the dinner...

...for you and my Audrey.

Jerry, are you okay?

Is anything wrong?

No. Nothing.

You look like you've seen a ghost.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey.