Finding Emily

- "Love is a state

of temporary psychosis."

Sigmund "Frued."

: Ah, shit.

Freud.

- -

- : Hey. -

: Gormless, you watching the meter? Go on, tell him.

- Yeah, yeah, I know. - Huh?

Hey, mate.

Mate, you got to watch your levels.

- What? - The levels! You got to watch your levels!

- Chill out, man. - No, I won't chill out.

You got to do it.

- No, I won't. - What do you mean, no?

- - No, mate. What are you doing?

- Listen, get off the decks. -

- - Yeah, listen, mate.

Just help me out. I really need this job,

- so please just turn it down a little? - All right.

- - Thank you.

- -

- Oh. Sorry. Hey!

Oh, don't mind her. She likes to pee standing up.

- Oh, yeah, woman's choice. -

I mean, I like to pee sitting down sometimes.

The queue for the girls is a joke,

and Pervy Martin's got a peephole in there.

- -

I think I've got stage fright.

Frida Kahlo deserves better than this.

- Am I right? -

You work here?

Not in here.

Uh, I'm a sound engineer, so I guess I am staff.

Uh, do you want... uh, I'll probably do that, actually.

What, do you have a bottle opener?

No, but I don't want you to hurt yourself, and I might

have something in my pocket that might be able to do it.

Give us a go.

- - Here ya are.

- Thanks. -

- There you go. - Thank you.

Oh, nice straw.

Yeah, it's metal.

The turtles are shoving the plastic ones up their noses.

- Massive coke heads. - Yeah. Do you want it?

It's three quid, but you can have it.

Drink now, straw for life.

What, like balloon animals?

No, no, just tying the ends off a balloon.

So many people struggle.

Yeah, no, my fingers always get stuck.

And I'm supposed to be really good with my fingers.

- - I wasn't saying it rudely.

I was just saying 'cause I used to play guitar in a band, so...

Whoa! You're in a band!

Not anymore.

Like, you need money to live, so now I work here.

But, look, best thing about it,

you get four free soft drinks a night.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Don't go flashing those about.

Are you in a band, or is your boyfriend in a band?

Yeah, he is, actually.

- Ah. - Joking. I don't have a boyfriend.

What about your girlfriend?

- Don't have a girlfriend. -

Nah, yeah, I got a wife.

Right. Bye, then.

There you are. Come on! We have to go!

Wait, wait. Hang on a minute. Where you going?

It's our mate's birthday at this bar on Canal Street.

- Come. - I can't. I'm working.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. What was your name?

- "Emily"! - Emily, I'm Owen.

- - Come on! - Come on!

Oh, sorry, mate.

- -

Wahoo! Are you hearing that?!

Let's have it, Manchester!

- -

Wait, Emily!

Emily!

I just want to get your number. Only if you want to, that is.

I mean, you don't have to, but I just...

I'd really like to get your number.

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Come on!

- You gonna memorize it? -

I got a phone.

Come on! We're hours late!

- All right. Bye. - Thanks. Bye.

Hang in there, Robert, mate.

- Oh! - Oh! -

- Morning. - Hey.

- Frodo, you want to knock before barging in? -

What, into the kitchen and the living area?

No, don't think so.

- - You all right?

Mm, yeah.

Hey, um, Owen, look, uh...

- So, hey, look. - What?

So, a delightful, young,

professional couple from Marsden,

they want to come and view the place this evening.

Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt!

- I don't want to hear that! - What? Hey! Hey!

Owen, please, can you be in? I got to work late.

Oh, I can't do that, Frey, 'cause I got to pray today.

So I can't do that. Sorry.

Can't. Too busy.

- Someone's in a good mood. - Why? What happened?

Find a special little peephole in the men's bog?

You know, some dude used one, and then when he came out,

the guy on the other side was his dad.

Mate, that's an urban myth. It didn't happen.

Still denying it, are you?

What do you mean, deny it? We've got the same dad.

That just makes no sense.

What is her name?

- : Emily. - I knew it.

And have you talked to this Emily? -

Yeah, obviously I've talked to her.

Hard luck, mate.

What do you mean, hard luck?

- She talked back, actually. - Yeah?

Yeah, we danced in the middle of the S.U.,

and it was like... looked at each other and just... bam.

Felt like time actually stood still.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, no, no. - Oh, no, no. What are you saying no for?

- It-it was... - No, please. Not again.

No, no, no, no, no. It's different, it's different.

- It's different this time. - Oh, what?

You gonna write a song about it?

So when are you seeing her again?

Don't know. Not messaged her yet.

- Why? - Don't know.

- It's the next morning. - Why don't you do it now?

No, you haven't got the balls, have you?

- I've got the balls. - Do it now, then.

- I will. - Go on, then.

- I will. Matt, what's the time?

The ti... Oh, I don't know, love.

Think it's sort of, um...

I think it's sort of standing still.

Bless him. - What do you mean, bless him?

- - Really funny.

Just-just keep it casual.

I know how to send a text message.

- I'm a pretty casual guy, you know. -

I got some good stuff going on here, like,

"I'm divorcing my wi..." Doesn't matter.

- Um... - What?

Won't send for some reason.

It's like... Try again.

Is the Wi-Fi working, do you know? Or...

Matt, give me the phone back. Matt, give the phone back.

- Matt. Matt. - Matt, give me the phone back.

Matt, I'm not messing around. Give me the phone back.

- Oh, hon, that is not her number. - Get off me!

What do you mean, it's not her number?

I saw her put it in. It is her number, I swear.

- It's missing a digit. - What do you mean,

- it's missing a digit? - Oh, my God.

Matt!

Well, what am I supposed to do now?

Stop laughing, please! It's not funny!

- I'll find her. - Oh, yes, it is funny.

- Oh, is it? Definitely? Ha! - I'll find her!

- Surname? - Don't know.

- Age? - Don't know.

- Subject of study? - Didn't ask that.

What did you talk about?

We didn't really have, like, a proper conversation.

We were just dancing and looking at each other.

It was dead nice.