Wayne's World

Stay with us.

Spend all day with us.

There are two, you heard me,

two of everything in every Noah's Arcade.

That means, two of Zantar,

Bay Wolf, Ninja Commando, Snake-azon, Psycho Chopper...

It's really good seeing you, Benjamin.

You haven't been into Shakey's for so long.

Well, I've been real busy.

...it's two for you 'cause one won't do.

All this week, kids under six get every fifth...

There's a new pet.

Chia Pet, the pottery that grows.

They are very fast.

Simple. Plug it in,

and insert the plug from just about anything.

Simple.

Even for our customers in Waukegan, Elgin and Aurora,

we'll be there right on time.

So call!

Wayne's World, Wayne's World

Party time, excellent

-Okay. -All right, excellent.

Excellent, excellent.

Okay, extreme close-up!

-Excellent. -Okay, excellent, extreme close-up.

Okay, now is the time for

Wayne's World Totally Amazing Excellent Discoveries.

Our guest is Ron Paxton.

-Welcome to Wayne's World, Ron. -Thanks, Wayne.

Now, you're the inventor of the Suck Kut, right?

What exactly is a Suck Kut?

The Suck Kut is a revolution in home haircutting.

Wow. What a totally amazing, excellent discovery.

Well, yes.

Fireworks!

Now, Ron, the question that's on everybody's mind is,

"How does it work?"

I'm fully prepared to give a complete demonstration.

Okay, okay, Garth, just sit there,

and he's gonna put that thing on your melon, okay?

Just a trim. Don't buzz me, all right?

So, tell me, Ron,

exactly how does the Suck Kut work?

Well, as you can see, it sucks as it cuts.

It certainly does suck.

-What are we looking at? -Wayne's World.

These guys, they do their show out of their basement.

-People watch this? -Yeah, lots.

Turn it off, man! Turn it off!

It's sucking my will to live!

Oh, the humanity!

-Will you hand me the telephone? -Sure.

Can I have a buzz? No!

No, no.

Russell, it's Benjamin.

Are you watching TV?

Listen, could you turn it to channel 10?

I want you to find out who these guys are

and where they do their show.

I think we've found something that we can sell to Vanderhoff.

-Take your Ritalin, okay? -I don't have a buzz...

-Okay? You're in a forest. -Forest?

You're in a forest with Heather Locklear.

-With Heather? -And you're very warm.

-Yeah? -Very...

-Warm? -...warm.

These guys are so funny.

Oh, they're obviously brilliant.

Wow! What a totally amazing, excellent discovery...not!

Thanks, Ron.

Okay, that's all the time we have for this week.

Until then, good night!

-Party on, Wayne. -Party on, Garth.

It's Wayne's World, Wayne's World

Party time, excellent

And... We're clear!

All right!

-Excellent show. -Excellent!

Excellent.

All right!

-Excellent show. -Excellent!

Excellent!

Let me bring you up to speed.

My name is Wayne Campbell.

I live in Aurora, Illinois,

which is a suburb of Chicago.

Excellent!

I've had plenty of Joe jobs,

nothing I'd call a career.

Let me put it this way,

I have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets.

Okay, I still live with my parents,

which I admit is both bogus and sad,

but at least I've got an amazing cable access show,

and I still know how to party.

But what I'd really love

is to do Wayne's World for a living.

It might happen.

Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.

Ah, the Mirthmobile.

This is my best friend Garth Algar.

Hi.

I think we'll go with a little Bohemian Rhapsody, gentlemen.

Good call.

I see a little silhouette of a man

Scaramouche, Scaramouche

Will you do the fandango?

Thunderbolt and lightning

Very, very frightening me

-Galileo -Galileo

-Galileo -Galileo

Galileo, Figaro

Magnifico

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Whoa. It's Phil.

Phil, what are you doing here?

You're partied out, man, again.

What if he honks in the car?

I'm giving you a no-honk guarantee.

Phil,

if you're gonna spew,

spew into this.

Easy come, easy go Will you let me go?

Bismillah!

-No, we will not let you go -Let him go

-Bismillah! -We will not let you go

Let him go

-Bismillah -We will not let you go

-Let me go -Will not let you go

-Let me go -Will not let you go

Let me go

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh, mama mia, mama mia

Mama mia, let me go

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me

For me

For me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye

So you think you can love me and leave me to die

Oh, baby

-Garth, pull over. -Oh! Oh, man, come on.

Not again.

He does this every Friday.

Stop torturing yourself, man!

You'll never afford it!

Live in the now!

It will be mine.

Oh, yes, it will be mine.

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Nothing really matters

Anyone can see

Nothing really matters

Nothing really matters

to me

Hey, Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party!

Yeah!

Excellent!

Way to go!

Looking good, Garth! Party on, Wayne!

Hey, Campbell. Uno momento, fellows.

Officer Koharski, how's it going?

Fine.

Say, I smell bacon.

Does anyone else smell bacon?

Yeah, I definitely smell a pork product of some type.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're doing, Campbell.

Bacon, pig, oink-oink, police officer.

I used to say that to cops when I was your age.

-Hey, what are you up to? -Me?

I just pulled over a tour bus on its way to Chicago.

We had a tip that there was some drug smuggling going down.

We searched the entire vehicle.

It was clean, so we had to proceed with the body cavity searches.

No way.

Way! I inspected 12 individuals myself, inside and out.

Okay, this guy needs coffee and crullers, stat!

We gotta get him to Rampart. Let's go!

This is Stan Mikita's donuts.

Excellent munchables.

This is the manager, Glen.

He's here 24 hours a day.

I recommend the Sugar Pucks.

They're excellent. Come on.

I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night.

Why is it if a man kills another man in battle, it's called heroic,

yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?

Hello! What do you think you're doing?

Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera.

Come on.

I don't really have too much to say right now.

What's that?

Hi, Mr. Withers. How's the amusement park going?

Just great, Wayne.

Four coffees and a half dozen crullers, please.

And one jelly donut.

Hey, there's your girlfriend, Garth. Yeah.