Workaholics

English (HI) Subtitles. Workaholics S04E04 (720p) Miss BS - BrRip

- Morning burgs. Clink, clink. - Yeah.

- Nothing like being at a bus stop,

crushing burgs in the morning with my boys.

- Nothing like it. - With that said,

uh, when are you going to get the 'Vo fixed, Ders?

- Dude, when I get $600 to fix the brakes.

- When do you think that's going to happen for you in your life?

- I don't know. When I win the lottery?

- That's, like, a great plan. My neighbor growing up...

he actually bought a lotto ticket every day.

He's homeless now.

- Right, 'cause it's next to impossible to win the lottery.

- It wasn't about the... the tickets.

He was addicted to methamphetamines.

- Nice buns. - They are.

- They're good, right? - Yeah.

Excuse you?

What's up?

- Oh, no. Uh, we were talking about the burgers.

We were... we were commenting on how delicious the buns are.

- We can't even see your buns. - Bitch!

- Hey, leave him alone, all right?

Oh, is this your mommy?

- No, if anything, I'm the daddy,

and I'm asking you to step off.

- And I'm... I'm a cool bachelor uncle,

and I'm... I'm just, like, hanging around.

I ride a motorcycle. I have good hair.

I'm like Uncle Jesse, basically. - I'm Danny Tanner.

- I'm Comet. - Too bad you're all bitches.

Give me your money! - No, what?

What the... - Oh, jeez!

- Whoa! Just take... just take our money, then.

- If you just reach in my front pocket, it's in there.

Jesus.

- Just leave the receipt, though... I need that.

- Just give me your soda. - Yeah, of course.

Uh, I mean, I've already had too much caffeine anyways.

Bitch.

- Hit my limit. - Oh.

- Ooh.

Yeah. So take it. "I'm like, 'Give me your soda."'

I wasn't even scared of her, dude.

I was so brave right then.

We'll just catch the next one!

- Well, I tell you what... she's lucky she's a girl,

or I would have knocked her block off.

- Yeah, man. I mean, I'm still stewing about it over here.

- Get in the broth, baby. - I know.

It's never okay to hit a chick, right?

But... - Mm...

- That chick was, like... she wanted the funk, man.

She wanted to hit me! So what am I supposed to do?

My hands are tied, and I'm not gonna head-butt her either.

- Look, I'm American, born and bred,

but as a country, I think it's time we rethink

this whole never-hit-women policy.

- I agree. - Whoop! She's on.

It's on. - Oh, here we go.

- Turn it up. Turn it up.

- Maggie Sims, or as you know her, Miss B.S.

- Oh, it's her, it's her. It's Miss B.S.

Sir, do you recognize me?

Last week you sold me bogus Jason Mraz tickets.

That's a B.S!

How do you feel knowing that the whole world

knows you run a Ponzi scheme?

That's a B.S.

Illegal pizza delivery!

I don't remember ordering this topping.

That's a B.S.

- Damn! She's fine.

- I'm here outside of Big Hank's Auto Body Shop,

where last week I went in with a hidden camera

and got a pretty pricey quote for a new muffler.

- Oh, yeah, lady, I can replace that muffler,

but it's going to be, like, $900.

- So that was the price for Miss B.S.

Now let's see what kind of price...

Mr. B.S. gets.

My lady's always trying to control me.

Last month I had to eat soup for four nights.

So... so what do we got here, I mean, just between us?

- Listen, just between us guys... - Just between us dudes.

- 400 bucks. - 400 bucks for a new muffler.

- Exactly. It's a great deal.

- It is a great deal. Only, it's B.S.

- What the... - And it is sexist!

- Get out of my shop. - We got him.

- Get that camera out of here. Get out!

- He can't B.S. Miss B.S. - Come on, dude.

- Sexism's, like, my least favorite thing,

besides salad bars.

I also hate salad bars. - Yeah.

- And if you know of a corrupt business,

call the number at the bottom of your screen.

What if we, like, uh,

threw a "save the 'Vo," like, fund-raiser?

- I like that. - Yeah, maybe she'd come over.

You know how, like, celebrities...

they love going to charity events.

What?

Do you smell my fart?

- Did you... Oh. Oh!

Bully!

She's here.

- Get the... get the... - Come on!

- Hey. - Hi.

- Howdy. How's it going?

- Good. So are you guys the ones who called in the tip?

- We're the guys. - Mm-hmm.

I got you a gift.

I hope you enjoy it.

It is the book Twilight. - Oh.

- It's about... it's basically you.

It's, like, a strong, empowered woman who falls in love

with, uh, a dude with a dope hairline.

Thank you.

Thank you for that. - You're welcome.

Uh, if you want to come on in here...

w-would you like anything from the break room?

We got water in there. We got some old bananas.

We got some Multi-Grain Cheerios.

- Oh, no, thank you. I'm on kind of a tight schedule.

So what's the story?

- Well, the story starts with a broke-down 'Vo

and hopefully will end with you being our A-list celebrity

at the 'Vo fund-raiser party this weekend.

- It's a fund-raiser? - Yeah.

See, I was told

that there were unsafe work conditions here.

- There is. - There are, yeah.

There's a ton, like, um, the break room?

Yeah, it's more like the slip-and-break-your-neck room.

You can really bust your nut in there.

- Okay. So thank you so much for wasting my time.

- What? all: No, no, no, no.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey. Ah, I'm sorry.

I probably came off as a real freakin' perv.

It's like you m-make me all flustered.

We want you to come to our 'Vo fund-raiser

because it means the world to us,

and if you'd just spend some time with us,

you'd realize that we're cool, normal dudes.

We make funny jokes. We do funny pranks.

- Oh, so many funny pranks. - Yeah.

- Like, uh... like Worldstar-worthy stuff.

Like, uh, we do smack cams.

We mess with people's food.

We do European sharking, which... Google that.

- Phone calls. - Yes.

- We do those all day to, like, old people and stuff,

so it's funnier.

- We make 'em buy the stupidest shit...

almost like it's our jobs. - Right.

- Wait a minute. It is.

It is. We're telemarketers.

Doy! - Yes.

- What we do is we'll just target old people, you know?

We'll look at the list, and then we'll be like,

"That's an old name. That's a lonely name.

We're gonna call that name." - Edith?

I will fuck an Edith.

Over! I'm sorry.

Oh, gosh. I just... l-I, like, stopped the sentence.

Okay. Well, you know what?

I-I have an hour to kill before my next meeting,

so I would love to see some of those prank phone calls.

- Cool. Awesome. - Cool.

Okay. Yes. Yes, but first,

you got to see some of the classics.

- Okay. - Will you touch poop?

Oh, shit.

- Regular day in the office. - Where we work.

All: Poop dollar!

That's my poop!

- It would be, like, an honor if you'd, like, smoke with us.

- Aah! God, it's so hot!

My fucking mouth, my fucking throat!

Who does the best, uh, face,

like, right before you're about to get killed?

- Go. Go! - Let me see.

- Hey, Grandma? It's me, Ricky.

Yeah, I'm selling magazines for school again,

so I need a little bit of money.

- Ethel, this is the spirit of your dead husband.

They won't release me from hell unless you buy some steaks.

- Yeah, now, uh, real quick...

I'm gonna need the expiration date

and the three-digit code on the back.

That is very good, Doris. You pass your Alzheimer's test.

Uh, thank you very much.

And I got her.

- You guys are too funny.

- We are, aren't we? - Yeah. Do more.

- Is it on? - Yeah, man, here we go.

- Next week we'll be looking at telemarketers

who are conning our senior citizens