Friends

Great.

Great! Just give me a second to change the film.

Okay.

Okay, I know I'm not supposed to know.

But I do, and I am so excited for you.

What... what's going on?

Monica's pregnant!

Oh my god!

Is that why you guys had to get married?

Guys, I'm not pregnant.

Huh. Slow swimmers?

What?! What do you mean?

You're not pregnant?

You didn't tell anybody I was, did you?

No.

I'll be right back.

Now, why don't we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.

Oh, about that.

Joey, you have to change before the party.

I can't. I don't have any other clothes here.

Find some, please!

Anything that doesn't say I died tragically in France.

Well then, why don't we see the bride and the groom and the bridesmaids.

Okay.

Hey! Mon?

Why did you tell the guys you weren't pregnant?

Because I'm not.

We found your test in the trash. If you are not pregnant.

It's because I am.

- What are you talking about? - What are you talking about?

Yes I.

I am with child.

And I didn't wanna say anything, because it's your day.

I didn't wanna steal your thunder.

Wait a minute. So you told people I was pregnant?

Does this look like a conversation I wanna remember?

- Who's the father? - Yeah!

I can't say.

- Why? - Why not?

I can't say

because he's famous.

Oh my god! Who is it?

Phoebe, come on! You have to tell us.

Okay, okay.

It's James Brolin.

James Brolin is the father of my baby.

As in Barbra Streissand's husband James Brolin?

What?!

Well he never said that to me.

F*R*I*E*N*D*S

Uh, Monica, if you can step away

we'll get Chandler and the bridesmaids.

Okay.

How about just the bridesmaids?

You know I'm the groom, right?

I was told it was kind of a big deal.

It is.

Oh my god.

Thank you for doing that.

I just can't deal with this just quite yet.

So instead you told me Monica was pregnant?

You said that she was. I just didn't disagree with you.

Huh! Sneaky.

Yeah.

Smile, ladies!

Oh, by the way.

H-hmm.

James Brolin?

I know.

I can only think of two names. Him and Ed Begley Jr. and then

I remembered he's gay, so.

Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.

Really?

Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time

Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!

Before we go out there, I got a present for you.

Honey, I'm not gonna put my hands in your pocket.

I've been taking dancing lessons.

What?

Yeah, for the last six weeks.

I wanted this to be a moment that we'd never forget.

Oh, that is so sweet.

So, would you care to join me on our first dance as husband and wife?

Of course.

What's the matter?

I don't know. It's these new shoes. They are all slippery.

Are you gonna be able to do this?

Not well.

Well the good news is, I don't think anyone's looking at us.

So, ready to talk about it?

No.

Now?

No!

Okay, we will talk about something else then.

Who's the father?

Look, honey, you know what? I haven't told him yet, so

until I do, I don't think I should tell anybody else.

Yeah.

That's fine. That's fair.

Is it Teg?

Oh. Phoebe!

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop.

Okay.

Is it Ross? It's Ross, isn't it?

Oh my god! It's Joey!

Please stop it! I'm not gonna tell you until I tell him.

A-ha! At least we know it's a him.

Oh, sweet lord.

I'm sorry, okay?

I went down to the gift shop, and it's either this or the bathrobe.

What's more important? The way I'm dressed, or me being with you on your special day?

Honey, I'm not even gonna pretend I was listening.

Hey, hey!

Hi?

I'm Ross. I don't believe we met.

I'm Monica's older brother.

Oh, hi. I'm Mona, from her restaurant.

Hello, Mona from her restaurant.

Mona. Wow, what a beautiful name.

You think so?

I always kinda hated it.

Come on! Mona Lisa?

Mona.

Uhm.

Kleklokin.

The famous botanist?

Oh no.

She's a... well she's dead now but..

supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world.

Really?

Uh-huh.

Well, see I never knew about her.

Linda Kleklokin.

So, what a...

what table are you at?

Oh... me too!

Good.

Now there will be some one there who likes my name.

Yes there will.

Oh guess what, Mollie Gilbert?

You've just been bumped up to table 1.

And if it's alright with you I'm gonna take your place at table six.

Martin Kleklokin.

That's better.

Now just bend your arms a little more.

There you go.

Okay, look straight ahead.

Now this time, I want you to really put your ass into it.

Yeah.

Chandler, darling, look! My date has finally arrived.

I'd like you to meet Dennis Phillips.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Dennis is a dear old friend, and a fantastic lover.

Bravo, Dennis! Thanks for pleasing my mother so.

I'm so sorry I missed the ceremony.

I was stuck at auditions.

Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new broadway show.

I don't believe we've met. Joey Tribiani.

Dennis Phillips.

Oh, I've admired your work for years. You've done some really amazing stuff.

Oh, thank you.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get myself a drink.

Be back in a moment.

Wow, Dennis Phillips.

That's great. How did you guys meet?

Well, you know? It's a funny story.

Funny ha-ha, or funny pook-pook-uh-ugh?

Thank you, thank you very much.

Now, if everyone will please take their seats, dinner will be served.

Hey.

I thought you were at table 6.

Ah, no. 9.

Oh! See? Before when you showed it to me, you had it that way, which...

was misleading.

Well.

Hello?

Chandler.

Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips?

Because if I could get into a Broadway show then I would have done it all.

Film, television and theater.

Only thing left would be radio.

And that's just for ugly people.

What size shoe do you wear?

Uh, eleven, eleven and a half.

Great. My shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor.

Can I borrow the boots from your costume?

I don't really know where I left those. Sorry.

Those aren't 11 and a half.

Okay, fine! I'm a 7.

I have surprisingly small feet.

But the rest of me is good. I'll show ya!

Can you believe Phoebe got pregnant?

Oh, you know what, honey? Let's not talk about that right now.

This is so huge.

Sure! But come on! As big as your wedding?

Of course not. Nothing is.

Wow, between me and you.