Parks and Recreation

- WE NOTICED ABNORMAL ACTIVITY ON YOUR CREDIT CARD,

SO WE JUST NEED YOU TO CONFIRM OR DENY

SOME OF THE RECENT CHARGES. - OKAY, THANK YOU.

$20 TO NETFLIX.

YUP.

- $20 TO BLOCKBUSTER ONLINE. - BOTH?

- I NEEDED ALL 11 DISCS OF GOSSIP GIRL AT THE SAME TIME.

$120 IN TUITION

TO HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY.

- THEY GIVE YOU A LITTLE WAND, AND A DIPLOMA, IT'S FUN.

- WHAT'D YOU MAJOR IN? - POTIONS.

YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OFF SPEAKERPHONE.

GO AHEAD.

- JESSICA SIMPSON CLIP-IN HAIR EXTENSIONS.

- NO. OKAY...UM... I WORE THOSE ONCE.

IT WAS A MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE, BUT I FORGOT TO RETURN THEM.

- MAN-PILLOW, THE PILLOW SHAPED LIKE A MAN.

OH, GOD.

- ALSO SOMETHING CALLED BUCKET OF CAKE.

YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK SOMEONE DEFINITELY STOLE MY CREDIT CARDS

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST CANCEL IT?

- DO YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT ELSE THEY PURCHASED?

- YES. - NO, UM...YOU DON'T HAVE TO

REFUND ANYTHING.

JUST CANCEL THE CREDIT CARD

AND WE'LL ALL GO ON WITH OUR LIVES.

THANK YOU.

- SO...WHAT DOES A MAN-PILLOW LOOK LIKE?

DANIEL CRAIG.

IT'S FOR MY LOWER BACK.

*

MY NAME IS KEITH,

AND I AM YOUR FRIEND.

ARE YOU GUYS MY FRIENDS?

all: YEAH! - ALL RIGHT.

AWESOME! IT IS PLAYGROUND TIME!

all: YAY!

- WELL, WE'RE HERE IN EAGLETOWN, IT'S TWO TOWNS OVER.

AND WE'RE ALL VOLUNTEERING FOR KABOOM!

A SERVICE ORGANIZATION THAT SAYS IT BUILDS A PLAYGROUND IN A DAY.

- HIGH FIVE, HIGH FIVE.

- I NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT COMES THAT QUICKLY.

THAT'S WHY I DON'T EAT MINUTE RICE.

SO THIS WHOLE BUILD-A- PLAYGROUND-IN-A-DAY THING,

I MEAN THAT'S JUST A SLOGAN, RIGHT?

NOPE, ONE DAY, 24 HOURS.

- KEITH, THAT IS SO INCREDIBLE. - KEITH!

I MEAN, I WORK IN PARKS,

AND I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET SOMETHING DONE.

- NOT IF YOU HAVE THE KABOOM! SPIRIT.

YOU CAN LOOK AT A PROBLEM AND YOU CAN EITHER GO

"UH, THIS IS A PROBLEM",

OR YOU CAN KABOOM!

BLOW IT UP AND TURN IT INTO SOMETHING GREAT.

YOU LITERALLY "KABOOM!" THE PROBLEM.

COME ON, PEOPLE!

I SEE MORE GROUND THAN PLAYGROUND.

KABOOM! - DON'T DO THAT.

both: ONE, TWO, THREE.

- OOH! - MAN, THIS IS TOUGH.

- YEAH, BUT JUST THINK OF ALL THE KIDS

THAT WILL SWING ON THIS SWING.

FAT KIDS, SKINNY KIDS, BRAINIACS, SLUTS,

THE GAY DRAMA KIDS, GOTHS, JOCKS, THE ALTERNATIVE CROWD.

- MM-HMM. - HEY, LESLIE.

HI. WHOA, ANN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, I'M VOLUNTEERING.

I LOVE TO VOLUNTEER.

THE KEY TO VOLUNTEERING?

A LOT OF POCKETS.

FOR PUTTING ALL THE FOOD IN.

THE RED CROSS HAS AMAZING COOKIES.

I GO THERE ALL THE TIME.

MEALS ON WHEELS WAS A BONANZA.

SUICIDE HOTLINE, SURPRISINGLY LAME SPREAD.

THOUGHT I'D GIVE BACK TO THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN MYSELF.

- YOU LIVE IN A PIT. - NOT ANYMORE.

LIVING WITH THE DRUMMER OF MY BAND.

LIVING INDOORS. PRETTY COOL.

NOT TO BRAG. KINDA HARD NOT TO.

ANYHOW, GOTTA GO.

ME AND AN OLD ASIAN LADY

ARE DOUBLE-TEAMING SOME MONKEY BARS, SO.

- HEY, LOOK, I GOT A REMOTE CONTROL AND I'M CONTROLLING YOU.

GO FASTER! GO FASTER!

* GO FASTER, RON'S THE MASTER *

AH! WELL...

YOU HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY KABOOMED.

- WHOA, LOOK AT YOU TWO AND YOUR BIG KABOOM!

GREAT JOB! I GOT GIFTS.

- OH! - THERE YOU GO FOR YOU.

- THANKS. - AND ONE MORE FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

- SO YOU GUYS GONNA JOIN US TOMORROW IN MUNCIE?

- NO, I WISH, BUT BACK TO THE REAL WORLD.

- AT LEAST YOU GUYS WILL BE KABOOMING SOMEWHERE, RIGHT?

REMEMBER... TAKE A MAN KABOOMING,

HE KABOOMS FOR A DAY.

BUT YOU TEACH A MAN HOW TO KABOOM...

KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!

UH, I'M SO PUMPED!

GOD, I COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD.

- I COULD PREP, LIKE, 1,000 DIAGNOSTIC TESTS.

- - IN AN HOUR!

THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

- THERE IT IS--THE PIT. - MM.

- THERE'S SOMETHING I WISH I COULD KABOOM!

WELL, WE ARE.

IT'S JUST A SLOW BOOM.

A SLOWER, MORE DELIBERATE KABOOM!

YEAH, TOTALLY.

SEE YOU TOMORROW. - OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MESS IS?

THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS WE HAVE TO COMPLETE

BEFORE WE FILL IN THE PIT BEHIND ANN'S HOUSE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

THIS IS A KABOOMER.

JERRY, DID YOU USE PERMANENT MARKER AGAIN ?

I'M SORRY, GUYS.

[everyone grumbles over each other]

OKAY, FORGET IT.

LET'S ALL PRETEND JERRY WASN'T BORN.

AND THIS IS CLEAN.

HOW DO WE SPEED UP THE PROCESS?

HOW DO WE KABOOM! IT?

RULES, CODES, PERMITS, RED TAPE--

I NEVER REALIZED HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO BE IN THE GOVERNMENT.

IN MY NEXT LIFE, I'M GOING INTO PRIVATE INDUSTRY.

MAYBE STRIP MINING.

OKAY, EVERYBODY TAKE OUT THEIR THINKING CAPS.

AND RIP THEM UP.

THEN TAKE OUT YOUR DOING CAPS,

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING TODAY.

- I HAVE A COUPLE DOING CAPS IN MY WALLET.

THAT'S WHAT I CALL CONDOMS.

- COME ON, TOM. FOCUS, PLEASE.

HOW DO WE CUT THROUGH THE RED TAPE?

AND HOW DO WE GET THIS PIT FILLED IN? IDEAS?

- WE NEED TO CUT THROUGH THE RED TAPE AND GET THE PIT FILLED IN.

- YES, TOM. GOOD.

OKAY, EVERYBODY ELSE NEEDS TO PARTICIPATE. COME ON, GUYS.

THESE SUGGESTIONS AREN'T GONNA SUGGEST THEMSELVES.

YES, JERRY?

THIS IDEA BETTER BE GOOD.

ANN?

- I SUPPORT YOU. - GOOD.

- YOU COULD PETITION TO EXPEDITE

THE ARCHITECTURAL REVIEW BOARD PROCESS.

- MARK, BUDDY... YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.

I WANT TO KABOOM! IT. OKAY?

- CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE REALLY QUICK?

SURE.

MARK'S GONNA HELP ME, SO THANKS FOR NOTHING, JERRY.

GOOD JOB, ANN.

- SO YOU REALLY WANNA GET THIS PIT FILLED IN, RIGHT?

YES.

- AND WE'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES?

- MARK, I AM SO SICK OF MOVING LIKE A SLUG.

I WANNA MOVE LIKE A CHEETAH.

OR A SLUG DRIVING A REMOTE CONTROLLED CAR.

SOMETHING MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN THAT, BUT FAST.

WOULD YOU BREAK THE RULES?

I WON'T MURDER.

THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

BUT IT'S ACTUALLY VERY SIMPLE.

IF YOU WANNA FILL IN THE PIT, JUST GO FILL IT IN.

DON'T ASK FOR PERMISSION, ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

- OH, I LIKE THAT. OKAY, WOW.

SO WHO GIVES ME THE GO AHEAD

TO NOT ASK FOR PERMISSION, BECAUSE--

- NO, NO, NO. - IS IT RON?

- NO, IT'S NOBODY. IT'S NOBODY.

IT'S YOU. YOU HAVE TO BE BOLD.

- OKAY? - OKAY, LOOK...

YOU WANNA GET THE PIT FILLED IN?

THEN GO RENT A BULLDOZER AND FILL IN THE FREAKING PIT.

HEY.

WHAT'S UP?

- SAY YOU HAD A FRIEND WHO WANTED TO DO SOMETHING GOOD,

BUT A LITTLE RISKY, AND SHE WAS KIND OF NERVOUS ABOUT IT.

AND THIS FRIEND IS ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

MM, YOU SHOULD DO IT.

AND YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR FRIEND TO HELP YOU

BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND TOTALLY HAS YOUR BACK.

AND THAT FRIEND IS ME. - YOU'LL HELP ME?

- OF COURSE, I'LL DO ANYTHING I CAN TO HELP.

LET'S DO IT!

OKAY.

- WHAT ARE WE DOING? IS IT DANGEROUS?

- WE'RE NOT GOING TO MURDER ANYONE.

- IT WAS CRAZY. I DIDN'T GET A SINGLE PERMIT.

NOBODY STAMPED ANYTHING, ALL I DID WAS ORDER A BACKHOE,

AND IT CAME WITH A GUY WHO RUNS IT.

I'VE NEVER RENTED A GUY BEFORE.

WISH I KNEW ABOUT THAT DURING PROM.

- THERE WAS A GIRL AT MY PROM WHO WAS KNOWN AS THE BACKHOE.

MARY DUNBAR, SHE'D LET ANYONE MASSAGE HER BACK.

- I'M SO EXCITED WE'RE DOING THIS!