Blacula

I've never before had the opportunity of entertaining personages

from the, er... 'dark continent'.

I hope the reception was not boring for you and your lovely wife.

Quite the contrary, Count Dracula.

The evening has been a splendid one,

and we've found your guests to be most impressive.

I liked in particular your Dr Duvalier.

It was you who impressed him.

Mamuwalde is the crystallisation of our people's pride.

My Luva... she does me too much credit.

But notwithstanding, my people are eager

to bring our ancient culture into the community of nations.

That may take a good deal of time.

It will at least be time well spent,

as opposed to an exchange of banalities

with pseudo-intellectuals and dilettantes.

Charming.

What with dignitaries of your stature

lending the weight of your statesmanship

to the fulfillment of our objectives,

I believe we will succeed.

Luva?

To totally cease the slave trade? I find that unrealistic.

Slavery has merit, I believe.

Merit?

You find merit in barbarity?

Barbarous from the standpoint of the slave, perhaps.

Intriguing and delightful from mine.

I would pay for so beautiful an addition to my household as your delicious wife.

Sir, are you ill?

Oh... I meant no insult, prince.

It is a compliment for a man of my station

to look with desire on one of your colour.

Sir, I suddenly find your cognac as...

distasteful as your manner.

You're behaving like some animal.

- Really? - Really.

Let us not forget, sir,

it is you who comes from the jungle.

Our evening is finished.

I bid you arouse your coachman. We are leaving.

I do not think so.

How dare you!

Let me go!

Look out! No!

You shall pay, black prince.

I shall place a curse of suffering on you

that will doom you to a living hell.

A hunger,

a wild, gnawing, animal hunger

will grow in you,

a hunger for human blood.

Here you will starve for an eternity,

torn by an unquenchable lust.

I curse you with my name.

You shall be...

Blacula!

A vampire like myself,

a living fiend,

you will be doomed

never to know that sweet blood

which will become your only...

desire.

No!

You will watch,

helpless and dying,

until the black flesh rots from your bones.

Listen... for his cries.

They will comfort you

until your death.

No!

Let me out!

Help. Oh, help.

Mamuwalde.

Dracula?

But he is dead, gentlemen. Quite dead.

He and his entire household were destroyed

by the great Dr Van Helsing almost 150 years ago.

Oh, what a pity. I've never met a vampire.

You should have told us whose house this was in the village.

Yeah, honey, now, wait.

This is gonna change our deal drastically.

Oh, I see.

Well, I can assure you, gentlemen, it is quite safe now.

The reports of the count were grossly exaggerated.

Perhaps if I subtract another ten percent?

- Fifteen. - Very well.

Consider your deal closed. We'll take everything.

You gentlemen had me worried there for a moment.

- If you please. - I'd love to.

- Right here. - OK, great.

You are obviously not attuned to the antique market.

You see, where we come from, honey, the legend of Dracula...

that's the absolute créme de la créme of camp!

We're gonna get a fortune for these things.

Count Dracula was no legend.

- He was terribly real. - Oh, I know.

I've seen all of his movies. I'm a real fan.

Don't shock the poor man, Billy.

Hey, is there anything else? Like secret passages and things like that?

Yes. When the castle was restored a few years ago,

they found several hidden rooms.

Eugh, it smells terrible in here.

Billy, look at this!

Fantastic.

Oh, this is gorgeous. Look at this, Bobby.

Honey, this is the coup d'état of the century.

Is this included in our deal, or are you gonna fleece us now?

You ain't gonna fleece us, are you, baby?

Well, if you want it...

I can't wait to start tagging all these goodies.

We're gonna be rich, my love.

Bobby, man, I can't see in here.

I'm gonna light one of the greasy lamps.

Ta-dah!

If the fire department could see you now, you silly lamp queen.

- Oh, this. I'm dying to open this! - I'm not.

Look, I have a fantastic idea for this. You'll probably die if I tell you.

In that case, spare me. Let's get on with the tagging.

Listen! You know that chintzy guest bed in the living room?

- Yeah. - How about this instead?

A coffin?

It'll freak everyone out. Open it.

Oh, Bobby!

- Look what I've done! - What the hell did you do?

- What did you do? Let me see. - Ouch.

- Don't panic. Wait to see it. - Oh! Argh!

Please stop. Hold this there.

Let me... oh...

- Bobby, hurry. It's bleeding. - Just a second!

You're so dizzy. That's the trouble.

- Put it up here. - Just a second. Stop it!

If you weren't so dizzy...

- Ohh. - Stop that whining.

Look at me.

- Move your hand. - That's tight.

I'm not a nurse, you know. All right?

Would you stop it, please?

- Take care. It's twisted. - I'll take care of it.

I'm gonna bleed to death.

You're gonna bleed to death if you don't keep your mouth shut!

Keep quiet. You make me nervous.

Bobby, I'll die. I'm bleeding to death!

Would you stop it, please?

Child, be still! Stop! What's wrong with you?

That isn't tight enough. The blood's seeping through.

Bobby, look...

Bobby! Bobby!

No...

No, no!

No!

No, no!

'I curse you with my name.

'You shall be...

'Blacula!

'A vampire like myself,

'a living fiend.'

These are the Williams girls, friends of the family.

We've come to pay our respects to Bobby McCoy.

Certainly, sir.

These things are always so very tragic,

but I can perhaps be of some comfort to you in this hour of need.

This is one of our smaller rooms, but it can be expanded

to accommodate any number of mourners.

Why is his hand like that?

This sometimes happens. It's only a reflex.

At his mother's request, the body has not yet been embalmed.

I'll just tidy him up a bit,

then leave you alone with your thoughts.

Poor Bobby. We've known him since we were kids.

Luva.

I just don't understand it.

I hope you can find some answers for us, Gordon.

Why don't you two go on over to Bobby's mother's house?

She's in pretty bad shape. I'll stay here.

Let's go.

- Talk to you later. - All right.

Did I startle you, sir?

I'm so sorry, but I can't let you disarrange...

I'm Dr Thomas with the Scientific Investigation Division.

Of course. I'm so sorry, doctor.

I didn't realise you were a professional man.

I worked very hard on that neck wound,

trying to make it look as natural as I could

so it wouldn't be offensive to his loved ones.

The flesh was torn right out in a big chunk.

I've never seen a rat bite that size before.

- Rat bite? - Yes, sir.

How deep was the wound before it was repaired?

I don't know. Two or three inches at least.

- Two or three inches? - Yes, sir.

Any other bruises or wounds?

A slight abrasion on the left elbow, probably the result of a fall.

And you say you didn't embalm?

Yes, sir.

It's strange.

That is strange.

Look at this. His veins are empty.

They collapse with pressure and don't return to shape,

and he wouldn't be this colour unless he'd lost a lot of blood.