Happy Days

Oh, where's that delivery boy from the market?

He always helped me carry packages home.

Oh, yeah, Eddie Collins. They had to fire him.

Every time somebody didn't tip,

he'd crush their butter.

Thank goodness I always tipped him.

Oh, Mom, I forgot to tell you -

Dad invited somebody over to the house for dinner.

Oh, anyone we know?

No, just an old army buddy.

He's in town to get married.

Oh, your father never tells me anything.

I guess another guest for dinner won't be any trouble.

I think he's gonna be here longer than just dinner.

Dad asked him to stay until after the wedding.

Oh, he said to tell you that we're invited, too.

Oh, good.

Well, that gives me an excuse

to buy that dress that I already bought.

Hi!

Oh, hi, Dad.

Marion, Richie, I'd like to you meet

my old army buddy Fred Washington.

How do you do?

Oh, it's nice to meet you, Fred.

Pleasure to meet you.

Hi.

Oh, this is a surprise.

Uh, I mean, I didn't know that you...

I mean, we didn't expect...

What I mean is, we have watermelon all the time.

Here we go.

Joanie, what are you doing?

She's doing her Invisible Man imitation.

Joanie, please take it off.

It's cute, but white hoods make me nervous.

Put your napkin in your lap

and give the glasses back to Fred.

Fred's traveled all over the world.

Maybe there's some questions you'd like to ask him.

Say, we're all a little nervous tonight,

and I'm nervous, too.

Uh, it's been a long time

since I had dinner with white people.

Yeah, well, we understand, Fred.

Yes, we do.

Just try to forget we're white.

Will you look at these photos!

I can't believe that's how we looked 12 years ago.

I can believe it.

I must've put on over 5 pounds since those days.

You don't have to rub it in.

Hey, look at this one. Me with that cute little Nurse Sally.

You remember her?

How can I forget? You used to ring her so often,

we nicknamed you "The Phantom Buzzer."

Oh, boy, she was really something else.

You know, I remember the time...

Oh, you have your scrapbook out.

Fred and I were reminiscing about how we met in the hospital.

Who is that pretty girl standing next to you?

Oh, she's just some nurse.

Marion, Fred thought I was in the hospital

because I got wounded by a grenade.

And he didn't tell me until we were leaving

that he dropped a box of grenades on his foot.

Who'd you say that pretty nurse was?

Just some nurse, Marion. I don't remember her name.

So, the old bachelor is finally taking the plunge, huh?

Boy, I just can't believe it.

Yeah, neither can I.

There's that nurse again. You're both in bathing suits.

Well, she was giving us sun therapy.

There she is again, alone...

I think we're finished with the scrapbook, Marion.

What are you so nervous about?

Mm, the wedding.

One other thing.

What's that?

Howard, you and I have been friends a long time.

And I don't know anybody else in this town.

So... how about it?

What about what?

You wanna have a stag party?

No.

Would you be my best man?

You want me to be your best man?

Yeah.

I'll understand if you have any reservations about it.

Oh, no, no, Fred.

I'd be proud to be your best man.

You understand that you might be

the only white couple at the wedding?

Uh, the only ones?

Yeah, um, Carol's family

doesn't have many friends on this side of town.

But if it's going to make you uncomfortable,

I'll understand if you don't want to come.

Not come?! Why, don't be silly!

I'm looking forward to it.

In fact, I was just going upstairs to fix my dress.

Now we can get back to that cute nurse.

Would you like some more coffee?

Oh, I'll get it. You want a cup?

No, thanks. Help yourself.

Cream is in the refrigerator.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Finley.

Hello, Mr. Cunningham.

Uh, could I use your phone? I'm sorry to bother you.

But, uh... I was talking to my mother last night,

and Mr. Finley ripped the phone right off the wall.

Help yourself.

Oh, I'll use the one in the kitchen.

Excuse me, Mr. Cunningham,

but, uh, I couldn't help noticing

that there's a... a man in the kitchen.

Oh, yes, that's Fred. Would you like to meet him?

Meet him? Oh, I don't think that's...

Fred, say hello to one of our neighbors, Mrs. Finley.

Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Finley?

Uh, h-how do you do?

Uh, I-I always contribute to African missions.

Oh. So do I.

Uh, Fred's marrying a hometown girl here

on Sunday.

Oh, th-that's nice.

Are you planning to live around here?

I haven't decided yet. Won't you sit down?

No, no, thank you.

But I did see a house on the block

that I might buy.

This block?

Well, isn't that nice? You'd be neighbors.

Oh... neighbors.

Well, you wouldn't mind living on the same block

with a headshrinker, would you?

Are you a psychiatrist?

Oh, no. I collect heads and actually shrink them.

Uh, a craft handed down to me

by my great uncle - Nat King Conga.

Uh... that's nice.

Well, I-I have to leave now.

Well, what about your phone call?

No, no, no, that's all right.

I-I'll write a letter.

That wasn't very nice of us.

It sure wasn't.

Let's do it again sometime.

You know, this is the fifth time

I've been asked to be a best man.

Maybe I should be on What's My Line?

I think it was nice of Fred to ask you.

Yeah? I think so, too.

I suppose, though, he has a point

that we might be conspicuous at the wedding.

Marion, you don't want us to go to the wedding, do you?

Oh, I didn't say that.

You didn't have to.

Your prejudice is coming through loud and clear.

Howard, I'm not prejudiced!

Am I prejudiced? It's hard to tell.

All that talk about feeling out of place,

that's just an excuse, Marion -

just an excuse for bigotry.

Now, let's face it -

you don't want us to go to the wedding

because we're white and they're black.

You've said enough, Howard. Good night.

Bet you wouldn't tell that pretty little nurse

that she's a bigot.

Marion, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

You did.

But it was the truth.

I think I really am prejudiced.

Thank you, Howard.

Don't mention it.

Now let's get some sleep.

I'm going with Fred to discuss the wedding plans

at his father-in-law's office.

He needs my support.

What does his father-in-law do?

He's an undertaker.

Oh, I never met an undertaker.

Never met a Negro, never met an undertaker.

Howard, I've got to get out of the house more.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cunningham.

Oh, you, too, Mr. Davis, and thank you.

OK, let's talk about

the wedding plans you've made.

Oh, uh, I'll wait in the other room.

That's the embalming room.