The Loud House

Poo-poo.

Do I smell cookies?

- Yeah, but don't waste your time.

They're "not for family."

Hey, Stinkin', think fast.

Lynn!

- It's okay, we needed a taste-tester.

I'm worried the bottoms are soggy.

Nope, nice crunch.

What are they for? - Clyde and I have

middle-school orientation tomorrow.

- You guys are coming

to my school? - Yeah!

We got assigned an 8th grade buddy

who's gonna take us around and show us

what the next three years of our lives will be like.

- And we want to make a good impression,

so we're coming prepared.

Designed these ourselves.

"Clincoln McCloud- BFFs."

Cookies and business cards?

That's your plan? - I'm also planning

to use word association to learn everyone's names.

Like, "Lynn once bruised

my shin."

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, time out.

This stuff might fly in elementary school, okay?

But middle school is different.

It's the jungle.

If you walk in there looking like a couple

of weak chumps, you'll get eaten alive.

both: Eaten alive?

- Does that mean we should reconsider

wearing matching turtlenecks? - Ugh.

- Don't worry, LJ's got your back.

- - Yo, Principal Ramirez.

Lynn Loud. Hey, listen, who can I talk to

about becoming an orientation buddy?

- Psst, don't throw out those business cards.

They might still work for high school.

Lincoln!

Check out those columns!

Do you think they're real marble?

Probably.

This place is so much bigger than our school.

Good thing they gave us maps.

Huh?

Guys, guys, guys, ditch the maps.

First rule of survival:

Don't act like a total noob.

But we are noobs.

- Yeah, and if some upperclassman realizes that,

you'll be a prime target for pranks.

Like the kid who asked an eighth grader for directions

on the first day of school.

The poor fool got sent on a wild-goose-chase

down in the tunnels under the school

and didn't make it out until the whole day was over.

both: Don't... be... noobs.

Okay, homeroom.

There are no assigned seats, so it's time

for rule number two: Don't get stuck with

a crummy desk.

Move out!

Oh, sorry.

Please, it's all yours.

I'd pull out the chair for you, but...

It's attached.

Wrong.

Hey, back off, pigtails.

My buddy saw this first.

Boom, dominant.

Nobody's messing with that.

Hah. - Uh, wasn't that

a little aggressive? -

Not if you don't want to end up like the kid

who got stuck with the worst desk in the room.

This one kid thought she had the perfect desk,

but ended up getting stuck in it so tight

that they had to call the school cook.

Sorry, kid.

We're gonna have to grease you out.

You got any nut allergies?

both: Don't get stuck with crummy desks.

Okay, next is Bio.

Suit up. - Cool!

I've always wanted to wear a lab coat.

Welcome, fifth graders.

We are continuing our work with live mealworms today,

so everyone grab a case from the back of the class.

Sorry, guys!

That was my fault.

I was up late making... -

Lynn, what the heck?

- Rule number three: Never own up

to making a mistake. - But I spilled the worms.

- So? Do you want to be like

the sixth grader who--hang on, Clyde needs to hear this, too.

- Do you want to be like the sixth-grader who owned up

to farting during a standardized test?

- Hey, look, it's Farty McStink Pants!

both: Own up to nothing.

- -

Loving the agro body language.

Here you go.

Double-meatball subs with extra sriracha.

Thanks.

I'm normally not a hot sauce guy,

but after this morning I'm feeling dangerous.

- Great, so my rules are sinking in?

Yeah, some kid just came over

to ask if she could borrowa chair,

and guess what Clyde said?

- I don't think so, pal.

Boom.

McBride for the win.

- So what are we doing after lunch?

- Well, actually, we orientation buddies

are supposed to let you guys fly solo for the rest

of the day.

See how you do on your own. - Really?

- Already? - Don't worry.

You guys totally got this.

Now, hands in.

Three, two, one...

all: Dominate! - Wow, Clyde,

your hands are so soft.

- Oh, thank you. - We'll work on that.

First class of the afternoon:

"The Wonders of Watercolors."

To the Art department!

Uh, which way is that again?

- Maybe if we just take a quick peek at the map...

- No! Lynn's first rule, remember?

Don't look like a noob. - Right.

- Oh, no, we're gonna be tardy!

Hey, you guys lost?

Nice try, bucko!

But we're not falling for one of your

upper classmen pranks.

Way to dominate, Clyde.

"Bucko" was a nice touch. - Thanks.

My dads were watching a cop show last night.

- This looks like the Art department.

Maybe this is the watercolor room.

- Are you kidding me? - Go away!