Hiding in Plain Sight: Youth Mental Illness

Boy: I remember having sad thoughts and asking myself,

"Why are you, like, acting like this?

What's wrong with you?"

If you feel very uncomfortable throughout the day,

then you need, like, an answer of what is going on.

Woman: I couldn't make sense of the emotions.

Why am I acting this way?

And it became a very frustrating thing

whenever I'd look in the mirror and there's nothing wrong

with me on the outside, there's absolutely nothing wrong

to make sense of that pain.

When I'm mad on the inside, I'm mad on the outside.

I feel very unmotivated, disinterested.

My friends had no clue what I was going through at all.

I felt like, well, my mom didn't care

and my dad was so busy and tired and...

I had so many emotions that I had to deal with.

I was like, "Oh, I could never be depressed,

I could never be-- have anxiety problems."

I was always like, "I'll be perfectly fine."

I just didn't want to talk about it.

I just wanted to leave it alone.

It was constant sadness, and anything that I did,

I couldn't find myself to be happy.

I was being reckless with my body and, like, taking

a lot of drugs and stuff and just being careless

and not caring if I wake up.

At that age, how are you ever gonna admit,

"I can't see past tomorrow"?

Woman: I think there's So many things you can say

about mental illness.

It comes out of nowhere, and then it just creeps

into your body, and you've got something

inside you, and you don't know

how to deal with it.

Narrator: Mental illness is one of the most significant

health crises in the world--

as pervasive as cancer, diabetes, and heart disease--

but it often exists in secret and is endured in isolation.

It's the place where sadness leaves off

and depression begins,

where nervousness becomes anxiety,

excitement becomes mania,

and habit becomes addiction...

the place where simply living becomes painful.

Greek philosopher Hippocrates called it

the "inner darkness,"

President Theodore Roosevelt the "black care,"

Poet Sylvia Plath "This dark thing that sleeps in me."

Young woman: It's the overwhelming feeling

of being stuck,

like, stuck in my head, stuck in my feelings,

stuck with this persona,

like, this... person that people saw me as

and that I couldn't escape from.

I can't even imagine myself without it,

you know, when something so toxic becomes

such a part of you.

Narrator: All of us are affected by mental health challenges

in some way,

whether in our own lives

or the life of someone we know.

It is everywhere-- in rural communities

and major cities,

in the workplace, schools,

even in our own homes,

often hiding in plain sight.

Young man: You could see someone walking down the hallway,

a kid on your sports team,

the most popular person in school,

the kid that everyone likes, you know,

and you would never know that that person

could be going through something themselves.

It's a silent battle that a lot and a lot of people

go through and that hasn't really

been talked about a whole lot.

Narrator: For some, it is a chronic illness.

For others, it comes and goes.

Some people can't put a name on it.

Those who can use words like "devastating,"

"hopeless," "a living hell"

to describe their pain.

All too often, they are called "nuts," "crazy,"

"out of their minds,"

labels that perpetuate stigma and isolation.

Even professionals debate what to call it--

an illness, a challenge, a disorder--

but that doesn't change the way it feels,

how it affects everyday life and relationships.

I do feel like once people find out you have

a mental illness, they just sort of treat you a certain way.

People often say, "What's wrong with you?"

instead of "What happened to you?"

No, they really don't care, like, how, like,

we feel, how I feel,

and, like, it gets to me a lot.

Narrator: Mental illness is, in fact, a disease,

a complicated and controversial one

that has been a part of the human condition

for thousands of years.

While there are now hundreds of diagnoses based

on all kinds of symptoms, the experience

and the treatments are different for everyone.

Man: I do believe that this is a very personalized illness.

It's hard for people to really compare one person's

experience with another.

That's often what keeps people

from getting help

because they think,

"Oh well, it's not that bad."

Well, compared to who?

Narrator: When you're suffering, it's hard to know what to do

and even harder to find help.

It affects all ages

in families both rich and poor,

healthy and dysfunctional.

It most often appears in childhood

and teenage years.

Trauma can be the trigger, from personal crises

such as divorce and neglect to environmental disasters,

racial injustice, and pandemics.

Over time, the symptoms can progress and lead

to increasingly extreme behaviors

like eating disorders, self-harm,

and thoughts of suicide.

Woman: When feelings become so excessive,

where it really interferes with their everyday ability

to live, that's a-- that's a challenge.

It can be at any age,

and it can be very impactful,

but it can be figured out.

You need to connect with someone who can help you,

problem-solve, listen, sort it out,

be able to work through those things.

Narrator: Intervention can help, and with the right treatments,

you can feel better...

Boy: It was just a lot of confusion in my family.

Young man: I don't talk to my parents openly about my...

Narrator: but the first and often most difficult step

is to simply start talking about it.

Girl... talk about them. I never tell anybody.

Boy: At school, they were like,

"Gabe, what is wrong with you?"

Woman: I was basically homeless because... Man: I am a gay man.

Man: On this planet right here,

we all have problems,

but that is the great thing about the human race.

Most people understand their problems,

and they work on it to get better,

but sometimes you might need just a little bit of help,

someone to help get your life back on track,

because you are the one who defines your life.

Narrator: These are the journeys of more than

20 young Americans from all over the country

and all walks of life who have struggled

with thoughts and feelings that have troubled

and at times overwhelmed them.

They share what they have learned about themselves,

their families, and the world they live in.

They speak for many of us.

They speak to all of us.

Woman: It's taken me a very, very long time

to even speak openly about it.

My roommates don't even know half of this stuff

that I'm telling you guys now,

and I'm nervous.

Like, I'm kind of shaking inside,

to even talk about it,

but I feel like if I don't talk about it now

then I'm wasting potential time where I could help somebody,

and that's all I really want to do, is, I just want--

if I can even reach two people from everything I say

or this story, then I did my part in this world.

How would I describe mental illness to somebody

who has never had it?

No experience of it?

Oh, boy.

Oh, my goodness.

I would want to shake their hand first of all.

Congratulations you made it that far, you know?

Nothing's wrong with you.

I don't know if you could explain it

to somebody like that.

Young man: It's person by person.

It changes with every brain.

With every set of eyes,

it's different.

Samantha: I would ask you how you were feeling.

Then I would ask you if you believe that.

Man: We don't understand how common it is,

we don't understand

how important it is

to talk about it

and be open about it,

so this is the problem that we all

deal with in secret,

and the result is that we don't deal with it well.

Film narrator: The thoughts of youth

are long, long thoughts.

What dreams, what feelings shape the pattern