Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

*CRAZY Ex-GIRLFRIEND* Season 04 Episode 11 Episode Title: "I'm Almost Over You"

So, that was quite a night of babysitting at Darryl's.

Yeah, it was.

And I gotta say, having sex with you while sober,

delightful.

Yeah.

Okay. Let's get this over with.

What are we doing, what do we think this is?

I am actually glad you mentioned that

because I think that since I'm in recovery and you're in treatment,

- that we should really... - Take it slow.

I was gonna say that right off the bat, but I wanted to take it slow.

And I appreciate that. Sorry.

And I appreciate that.

- Okay. - Oh, wait.

Should we be kissing in public?

Oh, no, you're right. Let me think, is that wise?

But the more important question is, do I care?

Hmm. I truly don't care.

Leonard, do you believe this?

Look at that guy. We were gym buddies.

And then I was busy being a nice person, and then he jumped in there.

And I mean in there, literally.

Dude, you gotta stop doing this to yourself.

You're turning into a jilted broken record.

Like her.

Girl, get out from behind that plant.

Hey.

Hey.

Maya has been down here every day, shooting eye daggers at that girl.

Which girl?

Joanne.

Pixie cut, coral top that I bought for her.

She works on the second floor of that insurance agency.

We went out for two amazing weeks and then she ghosted me.

Next thing you know, she's all over that hair chewer over there.

"Hi! I'm Marcy, and I chew my hair and I make this face."

"I'm Marcy."

Look at them, sitting there, just laughing and laughing and laughing.

Oh, Greg and Rebecca are also laughing and laughing.

I didn't know it was so serious.

What a bummer, dude. Sorry.

I can't believe that she's with him.

It's killing me, George.

I feel so rejected and low-status.

I don't like this. It hurts.

I don't wanna feel like this anymore. I have to do something.

- What? - I don't know.

Something big and... and emotional and romantic and fun.

Romantic and fun? You talking about romantic comedies?

Looking for one to watch? I'm an expert.

- Uh... - Okay.

To make your selection a little easier, here are your genres.

You have your witty, British ones. Your workplace empowerment movies.

Bro-y ones, where men wax things and live on boats.

- Uh... - And my personal favorite,

the late middle-age fantasies, where women wear white cashmere turtlenecks

and have fantastic kitchens.

I don't think I've seen any of those.

You've never seen any romantic comedies?

They're not for me.

- I know Rebecca likes them. - Uh, likes them?

Uh, she loves them.

Yeah, especially the ones with some kind of powerless, nerdy underdog

with a wacky best friend who feels invisible,

but then comes up with a scheme.

Oh, yeah, yeah, and then the underdog makes a big grand gesture

and wins the person of their dreams.

Huh. Interesting.

I don't know what do.

I'm just ugly, nerdy and hopelessly in love.

Right there with you, girl.

Don't worry, it's all gonna end up okay. You'll get the guy.

That's what always happens.

It always works out.

Oh!

Oh, I look awful.

I'm atrocious.

Oh, man, I'm a... I'm a dork!

Hey, you dumb, ugly, hopelessly-in-love nerd.

We're late for work.

George. You're my best friend, right?

Hey! 'Course, I am! I'm your best friend who loves sports

and I'm unreasonably cocky for such a slight man.

Right. Of course you are. You are you and I am this.

Oh. We're doing it. This is amazing.

All right, let's get going. Come on.

Hot diggity, basketball!

Okay, we're at work.

- What do we do now? - Hey, guys, good morning.

Ooh, Nathaniel, looking especially ugly today.

That's right. I'm the ugly underdog.

- Listen up, guys, he's here. - Ooh!

- Who's here? - Everybody, lace up your bootstraps.

Oh, exciting.

Move it, move it.

- You're here early, sir. - My acupuncturist cancelled.

Said something about a death in the family. He's fired, of course.

We're working on the Schiller case.

The Hellerman clients will be here at 2:00.

Did you inform them we don't do business with people who wear cheap suits?

If they show up in off-the-rack again, they are fired.

Where is my coffee? I want it scalding.

- Where's the Canadian? - Here I am, sir, at your ready.

I want the sixth Girl with the Dragon Tattoo book.

- There's only five of those books, sir. - Yes, and the author is dead.

Oh, please send my condolences. I still want it. Get it.

Everyone, the big presentation with the big client is in 48 hours.

- Big client? - Our entire reputation is at stake.

I need two people on this. Nathaniel, you'll be point.

- Maya, you assist. - Yes, sir.

Tim, do you have the book?

- Uh... Uh... - Sir, you just asked him.

I'm so glad redheads are dying out.

I want it now. I'll be in my office.

I'm sorry.

You take this folder, I'll take this folder.

George, this makes sense.

Bert is being an egregiously mean boss, there's some sort of vague presentation.

All I gotta do is figure out the plot. The scheme, the bet, the gimmick.

And what's the big event with the ticking clock

where I can make my big grand gesture.

Guys, guess what? I got some sizzling, hot goss.

Greg Serrano's reopening his dad's restaurant in two days.

He is? He just had that idea. Zoning would take at least three months.

Yeah, I don't know about that stuff,

but rumor is Greg's gonna ask Rebecca a big question,

a really big question at the grand reopening soiree,

to which we're all invited. The whole firm.

Oh, George, this is it.

It's the ideal setting for our grand gesture.

Now all we gotta do is figure out our scheme.

Let's go down, see Rebecca and see what our next move is.

Fine with me.

Only thing I care about in this world: sports, your love life.

Now let's go see the girl you wanna get.

- Let's do it. - Football!

She is unrealistically gorgeous.

He looks like a total douche.

Yes.

This tracks.

- What? - Stop it... What?

God, I hate that guy as if I had a personal beef with him.

Stop distracting me. I gotta get to work.

What? Why do you work in this dump anyway?

Because I own it, silly.

Yeah, well, I own you.

Oh, my...

Oh.

Oh, look, it's our quirky but cute coworker,

who could be a stunner if she tried harder.

- Hey, Maya! - Oh, no, my legal books.

Oh, what, because you're a man, you think I need your help carrying my books?

I'll have you know that women way smaller than me

have been picking up books way larger than these for decades.

- Decades. - Okay.

And FYI, I have opinions and a brain. I know that makes me hard to love.

That's why Joanne chose that simp.

You heard me, simp!

Maya, why are you slinking around the lobby?

Yeah, Nathaniel, what are you doing down here?

Why are you with Maya?

I mean, God, you guys have nothing in common.

Seeing the two of them together, it's ridiculous.

Yeah.

Anyway...

Wait a second. I have an idea.

Just follow my lead, okay?

What?

Mwah!

That's right, we're dating.

Jealous?

What?

And we're off!

I just can't believe it.

What was that back there?

I mean, who do you think you are?

You can't just grab me and kiss me. What if I did that to you?

I am an opinionated woman

and I have to call out the lack of verbal consent.

Yeah, I know and I'm sorry, but I have a good idea.

It's a solid scheme, and it'll work.

If we pretend to be together, Rebecca will realize she wants me back.

- And what's in it for me? - Joanne.

- Huh. - I'm sorry, I have to go.

I'm off to Sweden to talk to the estate of Stieg Larsson

to see if there's an unpublished manuscript

or my head's on the chopping block.

No, Dad, uh... I can't come to Mom's 70th birthday party.

I'm off to Sweden.

I've been asked to choose

between my relationships and my career,

and I choose my career.

Yeah. So, Maya? Are you in?

I mean, it goes against all of my principles, of which there are many,

but it just might work.

- What do we do next? - I'm not totally sure.

I think we'll find out in a few seconds. That seems to be the pattern.

Guys, where have you been? What are you doing?

Bert is all wound up. He says you're supposed to be working