American Dad!

Stan, James had me sign for this.

Who's James?

James is our mailman, hon.

I'm home alone a lot.

Sometimes, I pretend we're old friends

when he's putting mail in the... you know, the thing.

A fun fact about James... I made up his name.

Oh, I guess I've never really thought about

what you do all day.

Whenever you're not here, she'll walk straight up to a wall

and stand there, "Blair Witch" style.

It is messed up, Stan.

The notice is from my father's storage unit.

It's going to auction unless I claim it.

Awesome!

A whole garage full of Grandpa's stuff!

Not "awesome," Steve.

Grandpa Jack's a criminal.

Most of that stuff's stolen, no doubt.

And all of it's tainted.

I forbid anyone from going near that unit, including me.

I forbid myself.

Damn!

Now, I want all of you to forget about the notice.

In fact, let's sit here in silence

until Grandpa's unit is erased from our memories.

No can do, Stan.

I've been in way too many steam rooms with Jack

to forget that unit.

Me and the other spa rats used to call him "Tall Boy"

because he'd always be drinking tall boys

while he steamed up that thermos-sized hog.

I really hope there's a Darryl Strawberry rookie card

in your grandpop's unit.

Sorry, Klaus, even if we found a Rebecca Lobo rookie card,

I'd leave it there.

Dad would be so angry if he found out about this.

I just want to learn a little bit more about Grandpa.

You'd take the Lobo.

I'd have to.

Oh, looks like it's that one over there.

What's up, dick-a-loos?

Roger? What are you doing here?

Just "Storage War" ed the crap out of this auction.

I went all in.

Had a really good feeling about this bad boy.

About to find out what my 800 bones got me.

Oh, shit, it's all doll heads!

I don't need these. I already have a bunch of doll heads.

I keep them down in a storage unit I quit paying for.

Figured some sucker would buy it at auction.

Damn it, this is my unit!

Which means...

My bumper-pool table!

Hey, guys, where ya going?

I'm starting a thing here!

Both: Whoa!

Steve: Grandpa had a garbage truck?

Steve, did you notice there wasn't one black doll head?

Aah!

Mmm.

Cake does taste better outside.

I told him not to go to that unit.

My cake!

Out of the truck, now!

But I'm a fish, Stan... I'm so high up.

I need assistance.

Hey!

This thing's going back in storage.

Why?

I told you not to go there, and you disobeyed me.

You're already being corrupted by your grandpa.

God, I've always wanted to drive one of these.

This is so cool... eating cake outside

and then driving a garbage truck.

What an amazing day!

Hey, Rog, is it cool if I play a little bumper pool?

Oh, cute.

You want to play bumper pool.

Yeah, that's...

what you do... play it.

You're so stupid, I can't even look at your face right now.

But go ahead, have at it.

Rail, bumper, bumper, rail, bumper, hole.

Shatter.

Good golly, she's a natural.

She could beat South Dakota Slim.

South Dakota who?

South Dakota Slim... the best bumper pool player in the world.

And you've got what it takes to take him down.

Wow!

You really think I got what it takes?

I just said that.

Anyway, I'm taking you on the bumper-pool circuit!

By the time I'm done with you, you'll be...

cool as a cuecumber.

I instantly realized that didn't work.

Hey, Smith & Son is back!

Smith & Son!

Get a job, dumb-ass!

Waste removal!

Yeah, Smith & Son!

Dad, see them?

They're all looking at us.

Rude. Grab the wheel.

These looky-loos are about to lose a staring contest.

You blinked!

- - Smith & Son!

Get a job, dumb-ass!

That's right, son, we're garbage men.

Now, stop spying on me in my mirrors.

Dad, are you okay?

I'm better than okay.

I just had a good memory of my father...

a time when he was an honest, hard-working garbage man.

See, the truck's not so bad.

I found the old route list while you were driving

with your eyes closed.

What do you say we give it a whirl?

What the hell... for old time's sake.

And for new time's sake. Because...

Is that a song?

It could be.

This is it.

Don't you want to collect some trash?

It's a two-man job, Steve.

Little man gets the trash, big man works the lever.

Ooh, I want to pull the le...

I'm the lever guy!

You remind me of Jack Smith.

Snuck up on me.

Your voice, uh, maybe not so much.

Jack's my grandpop. I'm Steve.

Enzo Pierotti.

It pleases me that Smith & Son is back in business.

We've been using my son to do our runs.

Your runs?

Tony!

'Buca?

No, Tony, not time for sambuca.

Time for accordion.

My son was training for the Olympics,

but now he's just an alcoholic.

So, that's why he's doing all the jumping.

Ooh, can you play "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"?

Oh, I don't play these things.

Drop this at Chiang's Chop Suey.

They'll be expecting you.

Is this illegal?

Just do as your grandpa did... less questions, the better,

unless it's about what to order from Chiang's.

My answer... the suey.

Stan: Can I pull the lever, Steve?

I'm itching for it!

Hit it!

Mwah! Mwah!

Damn, Steve. Two kisses.

That guy's into you.

Um, Dad, maybe we should return the truck

and forget all about this garbage stuff.

That guy back there gave me an accordion...

What a great memory for you.

This is bringing a lot of memories back for me, too.

Thank you, Steve.

You've helped remind me

that there was a good side to my father.

So, next up...

Chiang's Chop Suey.

Chiang's! I loved that place as a kid.

I used to play around with the waiters

by imitating their thick Chinese accents.

Yep, I was a real racist little shit.

Steve: Besides serving up killer chop suey,

Chiang's served me two sacks of fortune cookies

filled with cocaine.

Whoa. You better let me test it, make sure it's real yayo.

Klaus, you're in recovery.

For sure, yeah. I was just testing you.

You're my rock, bro.

If I could grind you up and snort you, I would.

So, then, I had to take the "cookies"

to Rinaldo's Dry Cleaners,

exchange them for boxes labeled "hangers,"

which I then took straight to the dump.

It sounds like you've got quite the racket going.

What's the problem?

The problem's that my dad thinks it's legit.

If he finds out the truth about Grandpa's business,

it'll break his heart.

Why don't you just go clean?

I can't.

Our truck is ancient.

It can't compete in the legit garbage world.

But if I can put together enough scratch,